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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

David Sedaris signing WHORE in MN poster's book

274 replies

TeachesOfPeaches · 17/10/2018 07:45

He talks about this incident in the new Adam Buxton podcast episode 79.

Provides a bit more context as to why he does this and the other outrageous things he has written/drawn at book signings.

I now think the OP was being unreasonable as this seems to be part and parcel of being a fan of his.

OP posts:
serbska · 17/10/2018 08:24

He's 'orrible

'oh I am just sooooo outrageous and shocking and its for art don't ch know and if you don;t get it you aren;t a fan so ner ner ner'

MardyArabella · 17/10/2018 08:27

Writing whore in a woman’s book, who didn’t ask for it, and subsequently felt humiliated by it, is a misogynist act. We can stand around with his fans saying ‘he has never come across as misogynistic to me’ but the fact is what he did was completely gross and unnecessary.

purefitketodietpills · 17/10/2018 08:28

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LittleLionMansMummy · 17/10/2018 08:29

I remember the thread, but had no idea who he was then and decided there was no need to find out. I now know his name and notoriety as a misogynist at book signings, but that's about it.

MrsBodger · 17/10/2018 08:30

It’s disappointing when people don’t live up to their work (Ricky Gervais). I still love David Sedaris’ writing though.

SalemBlackCat4 · 17/10/2018 08:33

The OP in my opinion seems to be indulging in victim-blaming. Clearly, the MNer in question did NOT know that was something he did, and excusing it all away as well, that's something he does, is ENABLING misogyny and bad behaviour. The fact he has had 'many' complaints proves that it is not well known and that his fans are upset at the way he has treated them. Saying, 'oh well you should expect it' is no answer at all.

SleepingInYourFlowerbed · 17/10/2018 08:34

So it's just his style to be an offensive dick so that makes it ok?

RitaMills · 17/10/2018 08:37

I remember that thread, no idea what’s going on in this thread though.

The last thread gave examples of him writing horrible things in fans books so it was well established that he does do that, what additional contex is in the podcast to make you ‘now think that OP was being unreasonable’? She didn’t ask him to write ‘whore’ in the book, she found it embarrassing and offensive and she called him a horrible little man after the fact, even if it was before I still don’t think he should have retaliated with calling her a whore.

JaneJeffer · 17/10/2018 08:37

I don't get why people think he's funny. I tried reading one of his books and it was a pile of shite.

claraschu · 17/10/2018 08:46

I agree with this: "super intelligent survivor of a deeply weird family". He is a brilliant, thoughtful and funny person, also seems kind and open minded to me. If you spend time reading his books and listening to his podcasts and readings you might get a sense of what he is about, and why he is interesting and funny and humane.

I don't think there is a shortcut to explaining why he is funny or why he behaves the way he does. It is not possible to explain a complex artist in a few sentences to people who don't know her/him. The only thing I can say is that if you want to purge the world of objectionable misogynists, David Sedaris is not the place to start.

Sarahjconnor · 17/10/2018 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 17/10/2018 08:50

I don't know who he is and I haven't read the other thread.

I gather that a mner is a fan and went to a book signing, and instead of signing his name be wrote "Whore".

Well he sounds like a nasty little bastard.

"My daughter went and he wrote something nice!". Yeah but be could've written cunt or bitch couldn't he. Because, vv funny.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 17/10/2018 08:51

I have no idea who he is, so I'm going to consign him to the list of attention-seeking media-whores I am unlikely to be interested in.

IAcceptCookies · 17/10/2018 08:53

I saw that other thread. Had never heard of him before then. He sounds like a complete and utter twat.
I bet he doesn't write such offensive things in men's books.

JustJoinedRightNow · 17/10/2018 08:54

I remember the original thread and looked him up after reading it. There are so many examples of him being misogynistic and just plain horrible, all under the guise of being “edgy and funny”

The original OP’s Mum got it right when she called him a horrible little man.

Scatteredthoughtss · 17/10/2018 08:54

He sounds like a real loser. I've never heard of him, but I remember reading the thread where the OP didn't say who he was, initially. I still don't understand what the justification is supposed to be, bit of dripfeed here.

Urchinella · 17/10/2018 08:59

That signed book could be worth a lot of money one day when he's very famous and dead.

Probably not though.

Peartree17 · 17/10/2018 09:02

I haven't read the original thread, so getting this at secondhand. Howver, I have read and listened to a lot of David Sedaris, and seen him live. 'Whore' is something he calls his long-time, much-loved and very handsome husband in a sketch/essay where he describes goading his husband (Hugh) into listing his previous sexual encounters. The word is used once, right at the end of the sketch (to the audience, not 'to' Hugh), and provokes a laugh because it exposes the absurdity of the jealousy and angry judgement of his partner that he - Sedaris - has brought down on his own head. It's making the audience complicit with Sedaris' exposure of his own idiocy. So far as I know, it's the only time he uses the word whore in his repertoire. Maybe he did that sketch on the night of the signing, to great applause, and it was an in-joke with members of the audience?

He is, in one sense, a really old-fashioned - I mean, like 17th/18th century - humourist. His work is constructed around the paradoxes and weirdness of what his own sensibility makes of the world around him, and how impervious the self is to censorship and moral disapproval. So he visits the Anne Frank museum and wants to think about survival and intolerance, but finds himself wishing he owned the house and how he would renovate it. The reading I attended, he took questions from the audience and one person asked, 'What do you like about living in the UK?' - plainly an attempt to build bridges and give him a chance to leave the audience iwth a fuzzy glow. He answered, "In your supermarkets, you have really good ice-cream. You don't get that in the States."

I like him, but yeah, he's a strange one. Anyway, OP, thank you for making me think about David Sedaris - more interesting than cleaning the limescale off the shower!

NotMyNameButHereForever · 17/10/2018 09:03

OP Sorry, but you're flying so high you're going right over my head - what is it that now makes previous OP seem 'unreasonable'?

Buying the book? Queueing the wrong way? Wearing red? Wanting her book signed? I'm genuinely baffled.

And in the absence of context (though I'm struggling to imagine any that would make man writing 'whore' as as inscription on a woman's book ok Confused ) it does look like you're just victim-blaming.

Peartree17 · 17/10/2018 09:06

And I agree with clara, - thank god for David Sedaris. He makes the world a better place.

claraschu · 17/10/2018 09:07

Thank you Peartree I wasn't up to writing that (I wrote something earlier), but it gave a bit of a flavour of who he is to anyone who is actually interested.

ThomasHardyPerennial · 17/10/2018 09:09

I thought the original op was there with her partner, not her mum.

claraschu · 17/10/2018 09:09

Oh cross post! I am glad someone else knows his work and appreciates him. In my opinion, his garbage collection alone makes him an (inter)national treasure.

AuntBeastie · 17/10/2018 09:10

I think that the OP in the other thread was pretty unreasonable because if she liked DS enough to go to a book signing she must know what he’s like, and therefore she must have laughed at his very close-to-the-bone and frequently offensive humour before. I don’t think it’s fair to laugh when other people are the subject but then complain be hurt when you are the subject.

Juells · 17/10/2018 09:11

SusieQ5604

He wrote something nice in my daughter's book in Pittsburgh. She and I both love his books. But he's a strange little dude.

Ah, so the word 'little' in "horrible little man" was factual? Sounds like 'horrible' was as well. Grin

I'd just have returned the book at the counter and asked for an unsigned copy. If everyone who had a horrible remark did that, and it started to cost him money and sales, he'd stop fast enough. It's best not to treat fans with contempt.

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