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To ask you for your awful proposal stories, to make me feel better about mine?
369

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/10/2018 10:00

I’m not one of those people who needed a flash proposal, or even really a proposal at all, we’d already decided we’d marry at some point anyway.

But dh wanted to propose and I had no objections, though I did ask that he not do it in front of people. I didn’t want it to be a spectator sport, this was just about us.

It was winter, five years ago, and he was on edge. I suspected he was waiting for a right time to present itself, and girded my loins appropriately.

Christmas came and went - as Christmases so often do - we climbed a mountain together, looking out on an incredible view of the sea in the distance, but perhaps the ground was too soggy for his knees. Clearly the time was still not right.

It began to feel like a strange, psychological experiment. I was carefully not mentioning it, because it meant more to him than me, and I didn’t want to ruin whatever his plan might be, but there was a good chance we’d be married before he got his moment to shine.

Finally it was a couple of days before New Year’s Eve (when we would be taking a trip together, to a picturesque place). The rain was pelting it down, the wind roaring in the chimney, and we were doing a dutiful post-Christmas visit to my parents.

I was cracking nuts in the living room, whilst my mother reheated the final batch of mildly rancid turkey-soup, and my father searched eBay for ‘rejected gift bargains’ that couldn’t wait.

Dh came in and took me nervously by the hand. He looked terrified. The fear was contagious, and it suddenly occurred to me that he was about to drag me out into a downpour to propose.

Perhaps he had a plan? I thought.

He did not have a plan.

There, in the kitchen, whilst my mother froze mid-stir, and my father was illuminated by the light of the computer screen, he got down on one knee and said, “Chris, I love and adore you, will you marry me?”

Now, before I could answer, my father decided to interject with, “Don’t leave her if she says no!” Which really cemented the romance of the moment.

I said yes.

There was an awkward silence whilst he stood, put the ring on my finger, and we hugged.

The awkwardness hung in the air, like an unmentioned fart, as we ate the soup in a silence which lingered until we were in the car.

I walked into our house to the phone ringing, it was my mother, saying that she should have opened the champagne, but it hadn’t occurred to her. Why would it?

I always thought that my expectations were quite achievable really, but no, I’m an awful diva who wanted more.

We’ve been married five years now, and he is a marvellous husband - thoughtful and kind and considerate.

I don’t want your, “We were in a hot air balloon, and the ring was brought to me by a passing dove” stories, I want some, “He tied the ring to the dove and it was immediately snatched from the air by a sparrow-hawk” tales.

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AuntBeastie · 15/10/2018 10:03

Oh Christ 😂 I’m afraid I can’t comfort you with a similarly dismal tale but you’re a gifted writer and you have made me laugh!

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Bluelady · 15/10/2018 10:06

We've been married for 18 years and I'm still waiting for a proposal.

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MrsVietor · 15/10/2018 10:06

IMO your family were weird!! If that had been my proposal it would have turned into an impromptu family party. Why did nobody think to actually celebrate? I don't think this one is actually on your fiancé.

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/10/2018 10:11

Aunt, why thank you

Bluelady, I think that’s preferable

MrsV, it’s true that had he known my family a little better, he would never have chosen to do it in front of them. It was one of the reasons for my “not in front of anyone” stipulation. I did ask him why he hadn’t stuck to that (he was mortified), and he said he didn’t think I’d meant to include family in the “anyone”.

His family would have celebrated. And to be clear, they adore dh and are constantly bemused as to why he would want to be with me at all.

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YreneTowers · 15/10/2018 10:11

We were on a city break in Barcelona. He had all sorts of plans to propose in front of some beautiful building (there are lots) but was too worried about getting mugged to carry the ring around.

In the end, he proposed in our hotel room on our last night before flying home.

The ring was far too big, and it fell off my finger and rolled under the wardrobe.

So we spent about an hour with a torch and a coat hanger, trying to retrieve it - in the end, we had to move the wardrobe.

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Gobbolinothewitchscat · 15/10/2018 10:12

I think it was your parents' odd behaviour that put a dampener on it.

Your DH's proposal sounds absolutely genuine and heartfelt. That is what was most important to me when DH proposed. I'm not interested in props.

In the nicest possible way, I would file this one away as not something to bother about bearing in mind the fact that you obviously have a very happy marriage which is the most important thing

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Nephrite · 15/10/2018 10:12

I said yes
There was an awkward silence whilst he stood, put the ring on my finger, and we hugged. The awkwardness hung in the air, like an unmentioned fart, as we ate the soup in a silence which lingered until we were in the car
Did your parents not want you to marry him or something? Why weren't they a bit more congratulatory?

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WerewolfNumber1 · 15/10/2018 10:13

A friend went on a special romantic dinner date, walk through the sand dunes holding hands, under the stars, all very lovely and clearly building up to the proposal she was expecting.

He knelt down in front of her, started talking about how much he loved her, then threw up on her shoes.

That made her vomit too, which went on his head and on the ring.

Turned out they both had norovirus. They’d both been feeling nauseous but thought it was nerves. They spent the next few days in the bathroom before they felt well enough to announce the engagement.

So could be worse!

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Mrsr8 · 15/10/2018 10:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/10/2018 10:16

Yrene, that’s more like it Grin nothing like a bit of grubbing about after a lost ring to make it memorable.

Werewolf, that definitely wins Envy (not envy)

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/10/2018 10:17

Mrsr8, a mad swan is an important part of any proposal

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Singlebutmarried · 15/10/2018 10:17

No proposal here.

I’d been pretty poorly, and we decided to get married.

Found my engagement ring in the washing machine that was my Christmas ‘present’

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Aprilislonggone · 15/10/2018 10:18

Dh let me choose my ring in advance. A sale item as I know he is tight.
NYE came and he went to his car around 1150pm. Came in with a huge bouquet. I could see the ring box in his pocket. Where it stayed as he bottled it.
A week later he planned a nice day out while dc were at school. This is it I thought. Lunch booked, nice walk along the river. Went for petrol at the lovely little place and his card declined. Went to the bank, funds not cleared. No lunch. Did get a fizz - flat proposal along side an apology that the day hadn't gone to plan! He still doesn't know I saw the ring box on nye!!

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/10/2018 10:19

Single, he’d put it in the washing machine on purpose? Or it fell out in the wash? Grin

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Mrsr8 · 15/10/2018 10:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/10/2018 10:20

April Grin

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FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 15/10/2018 10:21

Mrsr8, I’m going to theorise that bad proposals make for good marriages, based on nothing but wishful thinking

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bridgetreilly · 15/10/2018 10:22

My favourite is a friend whose partner turned to her with a frown, "Honey are we getting married in June or July?"

Her: HUH?!!!

Apparently he'd dreamed about proposing to her, then just assumed he'd actually done it. He never did, but they got married anyway.

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Bluntness100 · 15/10/2018 10:22

Ach mine was in Blackpool, in a cheap b& b, and my husband had brought a bottle of Vicky wine only label champagne. He got down on one knee beside the bed, we hadn't even unpacked. I said yes. The champagne tasted like vinegar, so he refused to drink it. I did the bottle and then spent the next day walking round black pool in the pissing rain thinking I was going to puke I was that hungover 🤣

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MamaLovesMango · 15/10/2018 10:22

We’re childhood sweethearts and had been together for quite sometime. One night, we had an absolutely stonking argument —about not a lot as they so often are-- and we got into bed after a long day at work and he said ‘Will you marry me?’ I had to be up at sparrows fart the next day and I was still miffed with him and the argument so I just sort of sighed and said ‘yes. Night, love you.’ And went to sleep.

Turns out it was a proposal. We told everybody he’d asked me at the pub when we were having a romantic meal Grin

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Littlebluebird123 · 15/10/2018 10:23

My DH spoke to my Dad first but without my knowledge (something we both wanted although I know many see it as old-fashioned). We then began our 500 mile drive back to where we live.
My parents sent me a couple of texts asking how the journey was going and how excited they were for us. (I was slightly bemused as travelling the length of the country is obvs not exciting! Then it twigged but I tried to pretend I knew nothing as dh obviously had something planned.)
A couple of days later (!) DH and I went for a walk along the beach where we'd spent many a date. Lovely chats about the future etc then walked to the end of a concrete pier (beach was totally deserted, sun was setting, it was lovely).
He started to get down on on knee and from the other end of the pier some people appeared and began shouting at us. So he jumped up and it turns out they wanted to know if we'd seen their friend Neil. (We hadn't, lol)
So he tries again, and this time a bat swooped towards us and I ran around screaming in case it got in my hair!
So, third time, he drops to his knee and blurts out "will you marry me?"
Of course I said yes. :)

Then we went to his mum's to tell him and she just said, "are you joking?"
And then we spent a few minutes persuading her and showing the ring etc before she said congratulations.

So it wasn't the lovely romantic surprise proposal he wanted to do but I don't care. It makes me giggle.

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CantankerousCamel · 15/10/2018 10:25

I had just tsken a pregnancy test

He looked st me from across the room and said

‘Guess e should get married then’
There has never been a ring

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megcustard · 15/10/2018 10:27

It was our anniversary of having first met so technically a good day to choose.

Unfortunately I was also 42 weeks pregnant and booked in that day for an induction. Before going to the hospital we decided to go for a walk, in quite a busy public place. I was massive and fed up and nervous about having a baby. And that's where he decided to get down on one knee.

I forced the ring onto my sausage finger only to prize it back off at the hospital. I couldn't celebrate our engagement because you know, labour.

I know he was trying to be romantic proposing on our anniversary but I really wish he'd chosen any other day!

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EssentialHummus · 15/10/2018 10:28

DH proposed in a branch of Cafe Rouge after a screening of Macbeth. Apparently Sheekey's would've been "too obvious" Hmm.

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EdwardBear1920 · 15/10/2018 10:28

Like you, we knew we were getting married. I had the difficulty that I was pregnant, looked about 12 (I wasn't - I was 28) and I wanted the midwives to stop talking to me like I was a child, and felt that if I had a ring on my finger, it might make us look a bit more committed.

They probably weren't doing any such thing - I was just sensitive and hormonal.

I was very clear. This was not an engagement ring, it was an eternity ring. We still had no clear plans other than, 'When we have time/energy/money, we'll probably do a little party and some vows'. I didn't want him to feel pushed. The ring we selected was little, relatively cheap as these things go (£120), but pretty, chosen by both of us. It's a sapphire which is my favourite stone. You wouldn't look at it and thing, 'Oo! Engaged!!!' So we were both happy with it symbolising that we intended to stay together forever without necessarily being married.

I did want a wedding (I really did, actually) - I wanted to be married if for no other reason than wanting the same name as my expected child. But I could wait - we had enough on our minds right then.

We had a lovely day in Brighton choosing the ring. I've never done that sort of thing before (or since). We hung around as it was being re-sized for me.

Just before we went home, DH wanted to stop in his favourite deli to get some pasta sauce of the likes of which he's apparently never tasted before. This pasta sauce was incredibly special to him. When we'd gone for lunch, he'd suggested this deli as a place to go for a snack to take away, and we could get the sauce at the same time. I politely requested we found somewhere out of the rain and with seats, so he was content to leave the deli until last.

Finally, he was in The Best Deli in the World. While waiting in the queue, he asked to have a look at my ring which I dutifully gave to him.

His proposal...

'You can call it an engagement ring if you want.'

He didn't even put it on my finger, but handed it back.

Seriously. No 'I love you,' no, 'Let's just do this,' no bended knee and no picturesque setting.

'You can call it an engagement ring if you want.'

Fortunately... neither one of us do romance at all. We don't really do dates, share a lot of common interests around books, films, computer games and laugh a hell of a lot. We've both thrown ourselves into parenting two excellent children. We're going to be 12 years married next summer, and none of the fun or laughter has died off, despite me being ill and completely supported by him for 2 years, and discovering one of our children has SEN and needing extra energy and support.

Also, when he got with the programme and understood how much the wedding actually mattered to me, I got to get married in a church in a fancy white dress.

So all in all, he's all good.

But, 'You can call it an engagement ring if you want.' Followed by, 'Can I have a pot of that pasta sauce?'

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