To ask you for your awful proposal stories, to make me feel better about mine?

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

I’m not one of those people who needed a flash proposal, or even really a proposal at all, we’d already decided we’d marry at some point anyway.

But dh wanted to propose and I had no objections, though I did ask that he not do it in front of people. I didn’t want it to be a spectator sport, this was just about us.

It was winter, five years ago, and he was on edge. I suspected he was waiting for a right time to present itself, and girded my loins appropriately.

Christmas came and went - as Christmases so often do - we climbed a mountain together, looking out on an incredible view of the sea in the distance, but perhaps the ground was too soggy for his knees. Clearly the time was still not right.

It began to feel like a strange, psychological experiment. I was carefully not mentioning it, because it meant more to him than me, and I didn’t want to ruin whatever his plan might be, but there was a good chance we’d be married before he got his moment to shine.

Finally it was a couple of days before New Year’s Eve (when we would be taking a trip together, to a picturesque place). The rain was pelting it down, the wind roaring in the chimney, and we were doing a dutiful post-Christmas visit to my parents.

I was cracking nuts in the living room, whilst my mother reheated the final batch of mildly rancid turkey-soup, and my father searched eBay for ‘rejected gift bargains’ that couldn’t wait.

Dh came in and took me nervously by the hand. He looked terrified. The fear was contagious, and it suddenly occurred to me that he was about to drag me out into a downpour to propose.

Perhaps he had a plan? I thought.

He did not have a plan.

There, in the kitchen, whilst my mother froze mid-stir, and my father was illuminated by the light of the computer screen, he got down on one knee and said, “Chris, I love and adore you, will you marry me?”

Now, before I could answer, my father decided to interject with, “Don’t leave her if she says no!” Which really cemented the romance of the moment.

I said yes.

There was an awkward silence whilst he stood, put the ring on my finger, and we hugged.

The awkwardness hung in the air, like an unmentioned fart, as we ate the soup in a silence which lingered until we were in the car.

I walked into our house to the phone ringing, it was my mother, saying that she should have opened the champagne, but it hadn’t occurred to her. Why would it?

I always thought that my expectations were quite achievable really, but no, I’m an awful diva who wanted more.

We’ve been married five years now, and he is a marvellous husband - thoughtful and kind and considerate.

I don’t want your, “We were in a hot air balloon, and the ring was brought to me by a passing dove” stories, I want some, “He tied the ring to the dove and it was immediately snatched from the air by a sparrow-hawk” tales.

[BifsWif]

My husband proposed to me in the middle of an argument with a haribo ring, which I should probably have saved for sentimental reasons but I like haribo. A lot.

Coming up to seven years married now and I still eat all the haribo rings.

[Ifeelsuchafool]

Walking home from a date one Friday evening he announced he wouldn't be able to see me the following day because he was busy with I don't remember what, his mates or his mother probably, doesn't signify. He asked me what I would do with my free Saturday and I said I wasn't sure, go into town probably to get a few things I needed. "Oh well, you might as well pick yourself out an engagement ring while you're there." We lasted just under 31 years, the last 18 of which were pure misery!

[mrsnoodle55]

We got engaged/married stupidly young. Think 21 and 25 yrs old respectively. Here’s how.

I was in my 3rd yr at uni, he was living in Toronto for a year studying. I flew out there to visit (looking about 15yrs old). I’d taken him a South Park Kenny teddy present as we were both avid fans :-/ We got to his apartment from the airport and I presented said teddy, for some reason I got miffed that he hadn’t bought me anything, at which point he got flustered and produced a ring

The plan was apparently to be proposed to a few nights later in the skylon tower posh revolving restaurant at Niagara falls... but instead it happened, or didn’t really, in a dingy bed sit in down town Toronto. All due to a South Park Kenny teddy. Funnily enough, it didn’t last.

[tashac89]

He turned to me in bed after I'd spent the passed several hours trying to calm our teething son and said 'so. Wanna get married?' I said sure. He then came home with a ring a few months later and said 'here you go'. I'm a big romantic at heart and would of loved a nice proposal.

[BaeBae]

I think the OP is a journo doing research... that story sounds ridiculous

[Bekstar]

We were at my house, been going out for some time, but marriage had never really been discussed. DH had a habit of breaking things or doing things wrong and this is still the cause of many squabbles between us. I had just had kitchen remodernised and had struggled to get cooker to fit in gap that we had made due to workmen taking poor measurements. It took a while to try to get it in cos it was such a tight fit. But DH who likes to make sure everything is right even if it doesn't need fixing obviously thought it wasn't exactly straight and not up to his obsessive standards. He decided to try to move it again by using the knobs to tip it and lift it. One came off in his hand and the attachment it required to reattach slid down inside the cooker body.
I stayed calm, very calm considering the day we had, had and been the DIY expert of the house I then dragged electric cooker back out of the tight gap, spent hours in centre of the kitchen floor dismantling it to find the part, reattached ch it and eventually managed to get it repaired and put back in place. DH came to kitchen door and his face was very apologetic and as I was exhausted after all the hard work I accepted his offer to make me some dinner. I went to settle down in front room while he did it. Not long past when he shouted of me to come and get my dinner. I was a little narked to be fair at having to come and get it myself but was hungry so not worth griping about until he handed me a plate with 4 hotdogs between two slices of bread and I blew.
I ranted and raved for ages "I had not worked my ass off fixing the cooker he broke for hours, then wait for a meal to be cooked to be served f###ing hotdogs" no amount of begging me to calm down worked I was livid. Then he knelt down on one knee, I thought it was his attempt at begging me for forgiveness. So I said "You can get up cos grovelling won't help you now" then he says "marry me". At first I was thrown I think, but then I did say yes "but only on condition he went across the road to the chippy and got me some food fast".

I detest hotdogs even to this day. His long standing joke o. Anniversary is to offer me a hot dog. Yes he is still alive, but only because I am planning to Bury him in a giant hot dog bun and haven't worked out where I can get a coffin in that shape yet.

[Sasstal67]

He asked me to marry him the evening we discovered I was pregnant, we had only been dating for 8 months or so. I was so busy announcing that there was no pressure, that I know it's not what he had planned for himself any more than me at this point I our lives and that I was fully capable of caring for my child myself, that I sort of talked over his offer of marriage. That was 33 years ago and I finally received my 'engagement ring' last week! He had handed me some cash to go and buy my wedding ring at the time, and overlooked three decades worth of hints about the lack of engagement ring, every time our anniversary came around. Recently, our 22 yr old DS was looking at men's rings online for himself and I spotted a black diamond ring and mentioned that I'd seen a beautiful lady's white gold ring with a black diamond. I told him not to hint to his dad as I'd long ago decided that I probably wouldn't have really appreciated an engagement ring I'd had to heavily hint to get, but he did anyway. The ring I received from Amazon isn't white gold, or gold of any colour and the black 'stone' isn't a diamond. Tbh it doesn't really fit but whatever it's made of, and however he came round to buying it, it's mine and Iove it.

[fuzzydaisy]

The marriage proposal I once had was so romantic - not. We were at a nightclub listening to the music and he leaned over to me and said "D'you fancy getting married or what? I said What, so he said it again. I had heard him the first time, I'd only answered in total disbelief. My swift answer was No.
That was many years ago though, we had our Ruby wedding anniversary in 2016!

[MellowMelly]

I remember the day I was proposed to clearly.
I’m at work and get a text message from him to ‘come outside’. I diligently do.
So there I am sitting in the passenger seat of his work van in the car park outside my work where he popped the ring on my finger and then romantically said ‘you best get back into work now’.

[flowergrrl77]

My boyfriend and father of my baby had been offered a job overseas. He went to check it all out, have final interviews, be there for a couple of days etc etc.

Talk of marriage had occurred before but he’d always been nooo, don’t see the point in a piece of paper..

Someone has mentioned that actually, insurance etc and spousal details were difficult in that country for unmarried couples. Not impossible, but being married would make a lot of things easier.

So, I collected him from the airport. Mid driving home (me driving!) he suddenly says, so, what do you think? Shall we get married?

Me: what, are you proposing?
Him: yes, yes I am.
Me; no. I don’t believe you want to.
Him: no really I do! This is me proposing.

He asked me again twice in the SAME OFFHANDED WAY before I believed it wasn’t JUST for insurance and said yes.

I’m still waiting for the honeymoon holiday over 14years later...

[Kingk1]

MY story is similar, I'm a very private person. We spoke about getting married and I told him I do not want a big wedding or engagement I want it to be just him and me. We spoke about getting engaged at Christmas time as we were spending Christmas Day just the two of us. But no he waited until New Year's Eve in front of 40+ people just as the bells went to propose. I could hve died, I was speechless. It really ruined the whole loving experience for me.

[ShirleyPhallus]

@BaeBae

Do an AS of the poster - she’s playing the long game if she is!

[AriadnePersephoneCloud]

Yep DH asked on Skype and then when we bought engagement ring from Argos (our budget at the time) tried to do it on one knees outside the shop. I declined (to have him propose not to marry him). Not romantic but it was all expedient and we wanted to get married quick because we just really wanted to be married 😁

[fantasmasgoria1]

On holiday! We were waiting in the bar for our drinks and he turned around and asked me to marry him, no ring. I was a little shocked but I said yes. He's had a couple of pints and asked him if he was a little drunk and he said no. In the morning I asked him if he remembered what he said and he said yes and he was deadly serious. Once home I got a temporary ring until I found one I really like. I wish to an extent he did it differently but he said he had been thinking about it and the urge to ask me was overwhelming at that point so he did it!

[Bouncygirl]

It was just after midnight on Halloween and DP had returned from the pub slightly worse for wear. I was asleep when he woke me up by grabbing my hand and slurring "I just need to see how fat your fingers are to work out what size ring I need!!)
We've been married for 15 years now.

[Jenwen22]

Things were normal. Well as normal as you can get when he's going through chemotherepy. Anyway, a month before he hadstarted becoming very cagey with his phone, I.e I asked to use his to check up a recipe as my phone was dead. He snatched it off me. Started keeping it on himself all the time, something he'd previously not done. Became quiet and secretive, never off his phone and passing off talking to "an old friend from his peterbrough days." Being an avid mumsnetter I took this as he was cheating on me. Despite the fact he was knackered from chemo and had never not been with me, I became suspicious of an emotional affair. So anyway role on a month. Came back in from the hospital and there was a note from the postman saying we'd missed a parcel. Cue massive rage from usually horizontally laid back DP. Cue me immediately overannaylysing it. In the two minutes he'd gone to the neighbours to pick it up, I'd cracked open the wine trying my hardest not to cry.
He came back in, and I was just about to let rip about what an appaulling person he was, when he got down on one knee and proposed. My response was to jump up in the air, hug him and shout jubilantly "you're not cheating!" He looked at me oddly and said "that's not what people usually say?" I said yes. Turns out the reason he's been can on his phone was that he's found the ring he wanted to get me, pinned it to his home screen, so he didn't want me to see that. He'd also messaged all our friends and family to let them know so was worried a text would pop up if I'd used his phone....
....
...
So yeah moral of the story is just because they suddenly turn cagey doesn't mean they're cheating on you.

Getting married next August!

[stereolovely]

Before I shame myself with our proposal story I have background. My then DP and I were out to dinner at a nice local place and witnessed a waiter-assisted proposal. DP told me that he would find it hilarious to set up such a proposal environment (fancy date, posh wine and dessert served on silver domed plates) and as he got down on one knee next to his lady, make a show of tying his laces, get up and say nothing, leaving poor expectant lady wondering where her romantic moment went.
My DP is quite the sarcastic bastard. Sorry, japester.

Anyway, for our third dativersary, we had a night in a 5 star hotel, dinner and a movie followed by cocktails. Many, many, many cocktails. I don't usually drink. In fact, this was my first night drunk in front of DP. I was so ratted I was tipping exorbitantly and singing in public. Poor form.
Anyway, the following day, we stopped off on our way home for a nice Sunday lunch. After dinner stroll in the grounds and there my DP popped the question. Standing beside me, looking intently at the golf course across the road, no ring, no knee, no eye contact. Just "will you marry me?"
I said "yes, wait, are you winding me up".
My now Dear Fiancé told me he had planned a more romantic proposal the night before but was convinced I was too drunk to remember it.
Apparently I sabotaged all of the romance. But based on the first story, AIBU to say I was never to expect romance?

[MinecraftHolmes]

BaeBae Nah Chris is legit. Ask about the horse.

[Daddyjammy]

One from the guy's perspective of multiple failed attempts to be romantic (to the same person!)
Attempt #1: My partner tells me (unexpectedly but not unplanned) that she's pregnant. Overcome by emotion, and probably panic, I throw myself to my knee and propose while she's still in the loo holding a dripping pregnancy test. Needless to say, she pretty much ignores this.
Attempt #2: Just tried to be casual and ask her on a romantic meal date. Was simply too casual and she didn't even notice.
Attempt #3: Had it all planned. Day after her birthday (which is New Year's Eve), to take her into town for a nice late brunch, casually walk past jewellers and offer to buy her a late extra birthday present and had even selected the ring in advance. However, friends had been over for her birthday and unexpectedly hung around for hours, nobody wanted to come out for brunch (least of all my partner who was enjoying very long chat), finally persuaded her and her best friend to come out mid afternoon on pretext that I'd booked a table, then found when we got to town all shops had closed (it was New Year's Day, after all). Ended up dragging her up a dark alley in light drizzle (while unsuspecting friend looked after our toddler) to stand outside a now darkened jewellers to point at a ring and make a complete arse of myself.
I'm still not forgiven but she did say yes, we had a stonking wedding and are still together with 2 fabulous kids.

[BitOfANameChange]

Ex DP would never propose, he reckoned we didn't need to get marrued, we had a nice set up as it was.

I left him, for many reasons, abusive behaviour, etc, after many years together.

Only then does he propose. I didn't even realise he was asking the first time, as the idea that he'd ask me to marry him just hadn't entered my head.

I said no. Would still say no.

[Mum22Grlz]

I was sitting on top of a bin opposite a building site in a slight drizzle, in February waiting for the last bus home ( the shelter had been vandalised) - not the most romantic location but we will celebrate 20 years next year!

[Bexesangel]

It was February 14rh & I had just come home from work.
I hadn’t spoken to my mother for a while so decided to give her a call... I was standing in the hall on the phone to my mother when he opened the door from the living room and just thrust the ring box under my nose.
No words, not down on one knee.. nothing!!
I just said to my Mum ‘ I’ll have to call you back, something’s just happened ‘.
Needless to say - with a shit proposal like that - he didn’t put any effort into the marriage either and we are now happily divorced!!

[Pumpkinbell]

Feel for you OP I think I know how you feel, we were in Kenya sat at the bar in the hotel and as I got up to go to the ladies he put his arm round me and said how about it then and pulled a ring out if his pocket!! I said yes and we have been married for 10 years but I did think it could have been a little more romantic. He tells all his friends he proposed because he ran out of things to say 😱

[lynfordthecrab]

What can I say? My hubby of soon to be 17 years proposed to me during sex. And without being too graphic I wasn't even looking at him at the time.....YeeeHaaa!!!!! Say no more. it wasn't even a proper question it was "What would you say if I, ummm, maybe, asked you to marry me?" It made it very awkward when friends and relatives asked about the proposal! I still say technically he never asked and technically I never answered so I'm using that as my get out clause if ever needed!

[SisterMortificado]

It's not an awful proposal as such- I bloody love it and if DH had planned anything it would have felt weird. DH cannot plan. He just wings it, even things he really shouldn't.

Some background:
1: DH buys me trinkets. A cute keychain here, a costume ring there, a pretty notebook because it's Tuesday and he thought of me.
2: We're fantasy LARPers. Yup, he dresses up as a raggedy wizard and I go as a dwarven barbarian, and we hit each other with foam swords. Excellent fun, highly recommended.
3: Please envision DH as Australian Hagrid in glasses and me as a beardless Gimli/Pictish hybrid.

We're at our biggest LARP for the year, playing on opposite teams. It's just after official game-out for night, and I'm in our on-site tavern with my mates, in the process of putting my liver through some hardcore workouts. Earlier in the day then-DP had come up with a little trinket ring that I was wearing on my thumb, although it meant I couldn't bend it at all.

In he comes with the rest of his wizard pals, only slightly tipsy. By this point, the tavern is absolutely packed. One player is playing the melodica, accompanied by a drum. The noise is ridiculous, it's just so fucking loud. I see DP, fall over a bench, haul myself up on him and there we are, him propping me up, me telling him about this epic line-fight I was in earlier, in the middle of the walkway, surrounded by drunk nerds. Eventually I catch sight of my trinket ring and get sidetracked.
"I'm just so sick of not being married to you, it's dumb. Anyway I'm surprised I survived the melee, bloody Sir Robert and Sarge were in front of me and I'd lost my fucking shield to a 'disarm' and..."
"It can be your engagement ring, if you like"
"quite frankly they could both slaughter...I'm sorry are you asking me nicely?"
"Yeah, please will you marry me?"
"...Alright then, yeah, ok!"

We snogged. I turned around to the melodica player and screamed "OH MY GOD GENE, I'M FUCKING ENGAGED!" Word went around like wildfire, DH asked his best mate (a Bannerman) to be his best man, and I sat on someone else's shoulders to get enough reception to call my dad (forgot about the time difference and woke him up in the wee small hours...sorry dad). The hangovers the next morning were fucking legendary.

So yeah. I loved it, but frankly it's ridiculous and I struggle to explain it to people who'd judge my nerdy hobbies. "oh. In a pub, on a, uh, camping weekend. There were some friends there, I guess..."