To feel really bloody cheated that ds has to be home educated?

[witchesbroth]

Ds8 has HFA, sensory issues, anxiety - all of which results in exploding behaviour and exclusions from school. His self esteem and confidence is very low, he has no friends and has been made to be away from the class with a TA for so long now. We've been fighting the system for over a year for all the relevant assessments, help, EHCP but it's all come too little too late. The school placement has broken down and he's at home with no school to go to. He's under the LEA still but apart from another mainstream support (rinse and repeat) or a school for mod-severe LD (he's profoundly academically gifted).

He wants to be at school - he can't. There's none for him
He wants friends - he's got none
He wants to be part of shared experiences at school - residential, projects, discos, trips - he can't
He wanted to go to the grammar school for secondary -no idea....they don't like EHCPs apparently

Instead he's at home. Alone. Learning off websites and feeling shit about himself.

What I'm most annoyed about is how the system has let him down. If the help, support and funding went in when he first went into crisis, we wouldn't be in this mess but he was left to get worse and worse.

PRivatedoor - as the OP pointed out that the only SS in the vicinity was for children with moderate to severe LDs, I don't see why you're so offended by her stating that this will be unsuitable for her son, especially as the LEA have also told her this.

If you HAVE anything helpful to say, you should offer it, otherwise you're just being a bit dickish.

Hi op, I think I have managed to send you a pm, let me know if you don't receive it
I have never sent one before apart from replying so hopefully have got it right.

private I really don’t see what’s offensive in the OP’s posts about her son’s giftedness. It shows an extra layer of complexity in trying to find a setting to meet his needs. My son is of just above average intelligence I’d say so hopefully getting his environment sorted should be enough as he can just follow a curriculum with his peers. The OP isn’t in that situation.

Hi
I’m in Somerset having issues finding a school that uses common sense, we are on our 5th school. Moved here from Coventry 6-7 years back. We thought we’d hit jackpot with cambian Somerset school but it’s the same old story. Staff are all qualified PE teachers, teach subjects with no qualifications, they have no training in any diagnosis and I have a list of endless complaints. My son is now self harming at school and I’ve had to pull him out after a member of the senior leadership challenged him to a fight and is still working at the school despite me reporting it. Did you have any luck getting in a decent school?

I've just been approached to talk to a current affairs TV programme about this issue. My DDs have both suffered from being in the same boat. DD2 is now attending a very small mainstream boarding school where she gets all her GCSE teaching one to one.

I'm also part of a group setting up a school in Worcestershire precisely for these students because there is no provision in our county for them.

So many pupils are out of education because their needs aren't met in special schools and they can't cope in mainstream.

If any other parents who have this experience who would like to speak about it on TV please feel free to PM me and I'll pass on contact details.

What school are you referring too? My son is going to be out of school again soon and I thought we had tried every school available. We are in Somerset, he’s currently attending cambian Somerset school which is dreadful.
Please let me know
Thank you 😊

My son has just started at a sen school that is for all children that need it with asd, my son does have moderate learning difficulties though but a lot of the children are of average or higher IQ.
They do bespoke packages so there all individual so they get what education they need.
My son was of school for 2 years before that and it was hell, his metal health suffered and he never went out.
It was totally heartbreaking and and nearly broke our family apart.
Have you got an ASD lead in your area?maybe get as many parents on board as you can even your mp and see if there is a way that something can be done in your area.

Our ds has aspergers and we had to withdraw him from school due to bullying and he's privately educated via an online school. HFA/Aspergers isn't recognised in our area either so we have to pay for a private paed psychiatrist. We're not well off people, but have no choice other than to pay otherwise his life will go to shit.

There is no help out there at all. If the local authority were rejecting other minorities in this way there'd be all hell to pay.

Our ds has aspergers and we had to withdraw him from school due to bullying and he's privately educated via an online school. HFA/Aspergers isn't recognised in our area either so we have to pay for a private paed psychiatrist. We're not well off people, but have no choice other than to pay otherwise his life will go to shit.

You can apply for an EHC Needs assessment. You may get turned down but you should appeal because your DS would definitely meet the criteria.

You could then ask the LA to name the internet school on an EHC Plan and pay for it. They are generally a very cost effective way for LAs to meet the needs of pupils with ASD so it may not be a huge battle.

ineedaknittedhat I agree with Gold, if you have an EHCP the LA have to send your child to the school named in that plan, and to provide transport. EHCPs used to be started by the school but you can do it yourself now - look at your LA's website. Takes ages though - but please don't give up. Your DS will need you to fight every step of the way. The National Autistic Society can offer help and advice, and details of local support groups, if you need it.

Looking with trepidation here since I have one son with ASD and my other son possibly has it too.
Don't have much to add but you are less alone than you think. And to think people like us haven't noticed the effects of cuts on education and rejection of evidence based methods.

I’ll get flamed for this, but have you looked into medication as a way of keeping him in mainstream? That, and a good psychologist, worked for my son who had similar aged 10. He’s 15 this year and doing pretty well now.

Hi op. Not read all of the thread yet but I just wanted to offer support. I'm currently home with my 9 year old aspie who hasn't attended since January when he escaped mainstream. Barely went in December either. Waiting for a decision for transfer to special school. Nothing great in our area unless you travel an hour. It's utterly crap! Very little support. But we are concentrating on reducing anxiety and reducing demands (suspected pda) and increasing his mental health so that when a place becomes available (if we get consent) he will be better prepared for it. Fortunately, as you know, he will catch up academically when he's ready.

What a deeply frustrating and unfair situation for your DS. I can’t help with specifics as I don’t have any experience in the area but I do hope you find the right school for him.

Just as a little aside, if he enjoys coding have you come across codeSpark academy?

I woudl move to somewhere that have that provision .. I get it as I have a son with SEN and have found a perfect school .. if it was too far away though I would have moved ! There are ms schools with units.. when I was looking I visited every single Sen school and same unit school over 3 counties .

We are in the same boat. Its depressing. I cant really even homeschool as I don't have the skills, so we are just 'home'.

The provision for children with ASD and academic abilities in the country is basically non-existent. It gets a bit jading people telling you how to negotiate the system when the reality is the country hasn't planned to provide for these children.

We have an ehcp but it doesn't name a school as one can't be found. They LA do have to send you to a school named on a ehcp but its not easy to get a school named as most of them are specialist private schools who can argue the exemption of prejudicing their other learners.

You can't really just move to somewhere with provision as your LA has to agree to fund a place somewhere, then they have to agree to take you and then if you move the new LA has to agree to take over and fund it. Each round of negotiations can take 6 months.

Schools wont take them in if they specialise in children with learning difficulties as there are plenty of children with learning difficulties to fill those places.

I really resent it too OP and I resent how common an story this is.

If I had to spend all day in a room of 30 7 year olds with only two adults to control them learning about multiplication I would probably loose it too. I would strongly reccomend you look at some private schools. Main stream ones. Their environments are usually far more palatable, all the good ones provide one on one extension for gifted children and, in cases where children are exceptionally gifted, they are very motivated to manage special needs. I know it’s frustratimg that you’ve found yourselves in this position and it’s upsettting that he is excluded by his differences from his peers but honestly I think that this is better than keeping him in the school he was at. I don’t think it’s healthy for someone with sensory issues and that degree of intellect to be in a state school young primary class environment.

This is a zombie thread.

What she wants for her child is what every child in this country is entitled to. State school SHOULD provide it. Her child has the same rights as any other. Ffs

Hi OP. I’m in West Sussex and work in a provision exactly like what you describe your son needs. There are multiple offerings similar to ours near here (HFA and associated comorbidities, extended curriculum, small classes, through school with boarding if needed). We’re a private school but all our kids are funded by their respective local authorities. There is likely to be something similar within striking distance from you - we have kids from 5 counties and Greater London with us at present. I really hope you find similar for your boy as we see how transformational the right setting is for kids like your son. Good luck.

I am so sorry for you OP. My sons (ASD) struggled on in mainstream (one with 1:1 support in all classes; the other coasting under the radar in all the bottom sets) until Y 9 and 10. Then their mental health crashed: one ended up as an inpatient on a CAMHS unit and the other refused school and refused the 5 hours of home tuition organised by the LA.

My eldest had quite serious MH issues and is now recovering in supported living and my youngest eventually joined a medical group at the PRU and achieved next to no qualifications. I am now supporting him to complete an online course (he is 18).

Through this experience, I realised just how many people are in such dire situations. I completely changed my career to support my sons, and this meant a considerable drop in income. The whole situation changed our family.

I am sorry to rant, but no-one should be forced to home-educate and the provision for our LA was totally inadequate.

@Jml23 you need to start your own thread as most people will reply to the OP.

I'm afraid I can't help, but good luck!

@CheshireChat
Thanks, I was actually trying to reply to another person on the feeds comment but didn’t mention their tag in my post..PM’d them in the end so no worries

I understand your frustrations it’s not easy when the eduction system is set up for the masses and is rarely ideal for anyone. You are asking why you should except the least bad option? because home schooling is likely to be the worst option. It’s a shitty situation but cutting your nose off to spite your face won’t help. Academically, from what you’ve said, I’m sure your son will be okay but he may not develop good social skills without specialised support. He needs peers.
fWIW I work in a SS (ASC specific) and we would be able to provide a completely individualised curriculum and do for most of our students. We are nowhere near Devon though.