To buy my son a my little pony lunch bag?

[Pleasehelpme433]

My youngest son has ASD and just gone in to year 6. He has 2 obsessions which are minecraft and my little pony.

I bought him a minecraft rucksack and lunch bag for the start of term but he’s upset because several children have the same stuff and he wants something different.

He’s begging me to get him a my little pony lunch bag (even Googled it to show me on Amazon).

I’ve explained other children may make fun of him because it’s not a ‘boys’ lunch bag but he’s adamant he wants one and doesn’t care what anyone else says.

His Dad has said no way - I might as well put a target on his back saying ‘bully me’, but I’m more inclined to think if he really likes it so what? (I don’t mean so what to the potential bullying just so what- why should he have to conform?)

What would you do?

OP, I have autism and know how hard it is to stick out. Your son is on the spectrum and will learn soon enough - if he hasn't already - that neurotypicals will make his life miserable because he is different.

You can do one little thing that will make him happy - do it.

All this “MLP is for boys too, lots of grown men like it!” I would just ask you to do a google image search on Bronies. Is there not something else you could turn his attention to? A middle ground perhaps?

Chocolatecoffeeaddict there are y6 teachers saying it may well not negatively affect him. I don't know why we have to expect the worst from children. Expecting good behaviour is part of behaviour management. Obviously the OP will make her own decision and knows much more about the child/ren involved - but not knowing them I would on principle want to make the choice that doesn't implicitly approve of the bully's behaviour.

Additional to that is a useful lesson about how to manage bullies without changing your own behaviour. Only the OP knows if her DS is robust enough for that.

Let him have it; the other children already know he isn't typical, and if it makes him happy, why not?

I've done an image search, Delta, genuinely can't see the problem. I have safe search on though, is it that?

rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F323489669729

This might be a subtle option?

My DD is in Y8 and has an MLP lunchbox because she still loves it, although appreciates it on a different level these days! She says people whisper about her but she shrugs it off.

Thank you eye rolls but is HAS to be pink and lilac 😂 a blue substitute simply won’t do!

I wouldn't, simply because he already has a new lunch bag that you bought not long ago.

Nothing to do with it being MLP though!

In an ideal world you should get him the pony lunchbox. Unfortunately I think your husband is right and it will make him a target for bullies. Could you get him some my little pony stuff that he can use at home instead?

He's year 6. Do it.
Maybe put more protection in place when he goes to high school next year, but he's among friends now.

It will make him a target for bullies and he will probably get made fun of. If he understands this and still wants it then I guess it's his choice.

He may be ok with it now but as he moves into secondary school, the children he went to primary with may still bring up the fact that he had a my little pony lunch box in year 6. Do you think he would be upset at this if they laugh at him in year 10 about something he had in year 6 ? You know him best but children and teens can be very cruel.

Get him the MLP lunchbox if he wants it.

Have you watched MLP recently? Absolutely no reason to say its 'just for girls'.

Don't cave into the fear of bullying before it even happens - for all you know he could be the one to inspire his classmates to be more open and respectful.

I wouldnt . But then I recently found out my son was being called a girl for having long hair and he is only yr 2 , he 6 children will be worse.

By a plain black bag and using a computer let him make a design, print onto a transfer - minecraft but unique

Look on eBay and search iron on badges or actual badges they do some for boys like the boy ponies. Also search YouTube because they have masculine versions of mlp. No to say he can't have the girlie ones at all but maybe let him design it for his peace of mind. Massive boy culture and male culture love mlp and although I have all girls my year 6 (10) and year 3 (7) year old daughter's have teenage mutant ninja turtles school bags. So tell your husband that they have no target on there backs. I say what ever helps him cope and is happy with. I grew up with tmnt and no fucker is telling me my girls and like it with out recieveing an absolute bollocking. Which I have done and will do again. My daughter love cars also. So tell your husband also if be can't except a pack lunch bag then how the hell will be accept life descion your son makes when older. Also find a printers that do hoodys and t shirts and send them a picture of any pony or a boy pony and have him a hoody made up. My girls lived it. My baby had also outgrown her superman onsie and tmnt onsie that my brother bought her because he likes super hero shit. The only target will be your husband if he does not allow your son to be himself and for the sake of a bag he need a to lighten the fuck up.

Thanks for all ideas, I have suggested the design your own bag but his heart is set on the pink and lilac one and wants the matching water bottle too, just ordered it from Argos - guess we'll see what happens

Yeah, bronies are so normal and well adjusted. I don’t see why grown men need to dress up as children’s characters, imagine themselves in relationships with those characters (believe me they do!) and sexualise a little kids tv show.
Maybe it’s just me that thinks it’s really weird.

Ah. You're someone who likes to call other people "Really weird".

That's just a picture of a guy in a wig. Is it your kids doing the bullying if other kids don't conform to what you think is "normal"?

Lol I wouldn’t advocate anyone bullying anyone. But I also don’t advocate grown men obsessing over a children’s show, as I find it very weird behaviour. Are you one of those who says anyone who doesn’t like something is a bully? Just because I think it’s weird doesn’t mean I’m a bully.

I just googled bronies - I had no idea! I'm afraid I find that all a bit strange but quite funny!

I would not buy it OP

Rightly or wrongly - It is setting him up for a massive piss taking

You know this

My Foster son was 13 when he came to me and for over 12 months all he was interested in was MLP. Obsessed !!! It was on series link on Sky, he bought every pony going with his pocket money, he played with them lots. He's nearly 16 now and never mentions MLP. They grow out of it. Let him have it.

I'm an adult woman with ASD. When I was younger, I was a girl with (as then-undiagnosed) ASD.

And here's the thing: I WASN'T bullied. Perhaps I was so odd the bullies backed off, but I prefer to think it was because I had a smart mouth and genuinely didn't give a f*ck.

Not all kids with ASD are some homogenous, vulnerable mass: some of us delighted and continue to delight in our otherness.

Only the OP knows where their kid falls, but personally, I say - buy the lunchbox.

ThistleAmore - good for you! Despite him being sensitive, I think this is something he wants so badly he would be willing to ignore any unpleasant comments from peers.

I have ordered him the pink and lilac one from Argos with matching water bottle, he literally cannot wait to click and collect tomorrow!

You are right - not all ASD kids are homogenous - I think he will march to the canteen with pride and a skip in his step (I hope!) :)