Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy my son a my little pony lunch bag?

124 replies

Pleasehelpme433 · 12/10/2018 13:56

My youngest son has ASD and just gone in to year 6. He has 2 obsessions which are minecraft and my little pony.

I bought him a minecraft rucksack and lunch bag for the start of term but he’s upset because several children have the same stuff and he wants something different.

He’s begging me to get him a my little pony lunch bag (even Googled it to show me on Amazon).

I’ve explained other children may make fun of him because it’s not a ‘boys’ lunch bag but he’s adamant he wants one and doesn’t care what anyone else says.

His Dad has said no way - I might as well put a target on his back saying ‘bully me’, but I’m more inclined to think if he really likes it so what? (I don’t mean so what to the potential bullying just so what- why should he have to conform?)

What would you do?

OP posts:
Fiffyshadesofgreymatter · 12/10/2018 14:24

You're not going to stop kids bullying him about this overnight. It might be wrong, but a boy worth a my little pony bag will be made fun of. Teachers will tell them off, they will be taught not to bully and that boys can like what they like etc... But whilst all that teaching is being done, your son will still be bullied. If he can handle that, then go for it.

Jimdandy · 12/10/2018 14:27

Buy him one.

Gender is a social concept (and too many people confuse the biological sex and gender and use the terms interchangeably, but that’s a different debate)

If he doesn’t care then I say go for it!

Mookatron · 12/10/2018 14:27

If he is in year 6 with children he's known since he's 5, no offence to your lovely DS but having a MLP lunch box is not going to mark him out as different at this stage.

If he is crucified those doing the crucifying should be punished - and if you think you have kids who would be like that to a classmate you need to give them a talking to.

M3lon · 12/10/2018 14:28

Why are adults so certain that a boy would be bullied for a MLP lunch box?

Everyone who is certain the boy will be bullied please answer the following two questions:

  1. Are YOU planning to bully any boy you see with a MLP lunch box? 2. Are YOUR KIDS planning to bully any boy they see with an MLP lunch box?

If you are answering no to both of these, then why assume everyone else is a worse human than you? If you are answering yes to either of those then stop being a horrible human being.

TheWorldAsh · 12/10/2018 14:32

I drink coffee at work out of a Hello Kitty mug. Life's for living, if he likes My Little Pony then get him the lunchbox.

(With regards to bullying, kids will bully regardless)

QuizzlyBear · 12/10/2018 14:33

My son was bullied for having a Peppa Pig lunchbox in year 2, so - with sadness - I'd say no, I wouldn't. If he's in a mainstream school and he's surrounded by 10 and 11 year olds just testing out their burgeoning testosterone I think he'll be crucified.

Any class has a mixture of lovely kids, ok kids and little monsters. My advice would be not to feed the monsters...

bershetmelon · 12/10/2018 14:35

If he wants it get him the lunch box. He's got another if he wants to change back, I don't think it's a big deal.

InstagramPork · 12/10/2018 14:36

@M3lon
No, I’m not a bully and neither are my children. However I’ve witnessed enough arsrholes in my lifetime to know this kid will have the piss well and truly taken out of him if he has a MLP lunchbox.

Original poster
Pleasehelpme433 · 12/10/2018 14:39

Yes I agree he will be probably be ‘crucified’ unfortunately- what makes it a bit more comical is he’s very big for his age and towers over his peers - he would look quite funny with his pink lunch bag lol - if he does get bullied though can’t I just change the lunch bag or will it be too late? Kids tend to remember things don’t they I wouldn’t want him to be referred to as ‘the one with the girly lunch bag’. Aargh but he really wants it - such a dilemma!!
Plus his Dad will go mad if I get it - not that I ever take much notice!

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 12/10/2018 14:39

Unless people break the stereotypes then they will continue to exist. Not getting it for him will do nothing to help this.

As much as I agree with this, I think throwing a child in to the lions' den in the name of progress is not a kind thing to do.

OutPinked · 12/10/2018 14:40

My youngest DD went through a huge superhero phase and had a superhero lunchbox/water bottle. This was in reception so she was four throughout (August baby) and she was picked on by a couple of boys for it. That was reception, year six is far more brutal. It was resolved by the school but still not a nice experience for my DD. I wouldn’t personally risk anything that would make my DC an obvious target for bullies.

honeyskye · 12/10/2018 14:41

Just say no.

Yes it seems harsh but as a parent you have to make decisions in his best interests.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 12/10/2018 14:41

M3lon, you're not being realistic. There are always people, kids and adults who will bully others. Not everyone in this world is accepting and tolerant of other's differences. And for a child, this will undoubtedly draw negative attention. Not all children will not have the understanding of an adult about acceptance as they are still learning.

Mookatron · 12/10/2018 14:41

Have you talked to him about the possibility he'll get bullied? If he knows and he still wants it he should have it.

neveradullmoment99 · 12/10/2018 14:43

No. I wouldn't. I know we shouldn't have gender stereotypes but tbh, he will stand out from everyone else and not in a good way. You could easily buy him my little pony things to have at home or a lunch box if you go out.

Mookatron · 12/10/2018 14:43

Not all children will not have the understanding of an adult about acceptance as they are still learning. how are they going to learn if people are not daring to make their own choices because the bullies are in charge? And parents are actually encouraging this? It's saying the bullies are right, isn't it.

Original poster
Pleasehelpme433 · 12/10/2018 14:44

Yes I’ve told him it’s likely some children may laugh at him, although he still wants one I’m not sure he fully understands what I mean. He’s a really sensitive child - so it is high risk

OP posts:
ProfessorMoody · 12/10/2018 14:44

Wow. I teach Year 6 and with very, very few exceptions, they've all been really decent children, especially to those with SEN as they've been taught to respect diversity over the years. What a shame that some of you have experienced Year 6 children that would bully an autistic child over something as minor as a lunchbox. It certainly hasn't been my experience.

littleducks · 12/10/2018 14:44

I'm all for shattering gender stereotypes but I don't think a 10 year old boy with ASD is the one to be fighting the good fight tbh. He is likely to have a tough enough time without making it harder for him.

KurriKurri · 12/10/2018 14:45

You've told him people may make fun and he doesn't care - good for him, it is great that he knows his own mind and makes his own choices. I'd definitely buy it for him. (I speak as the Mum of a DS who was a major league MLP groupie Grin)

slkk · 12/10/2018 14:45

I’m a y6 teacher. I’ve taught many non NT kids who are totally loved and accepted by their peers at this age. Many of his classmates will have known him for 7 years and will not tolerate any bullying or teasing of him. Now is the time for this! Next year it’ll be much harder and he’ll be more vulnerable to bullying so let him enjoy it now,

QueenOfMyWorld · 12/10/2018 14:45

No I wouldn't buy it,that's speaking from having a ds myself

missperegrinespeculiar · 12/10/2018 14:46

well, my two boys love My Little Pony they are 11 and 7, they have no qualms about it, they have the toys displayed in their rooms for all their finds to see when they come etc. if they asked for a lunch box, too, I would have no issue, but that is because I know their school and their friends well and I am pretty confident the worse that might happen is a little teasing but good natured enough

so I would say, you need to consider the kind of school and environment, if it's likely to lead to serious bullying then I'd say better not!

neveradullmoment99 · 12/10/2018 14:47

Put it this way, my dd who is 7 and who loved my little pony wouldn't even contemplate having anything that is MLP and that's cause she thinks its babyish. Its not even about girls and boys.

user1483390742 · 12/10/2018 14:47

Don't do it. I'm a year 6 teacher and they love to find someone different to rip the s**t out of bully. He will be taunted mercilessly.
Believe me, kids are not more liberal these days..their parents just want to think they are!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread