Utter snobbery

[ScattyPenny]

This may be old news and I apologise if it's been done to death already. I know it's not a new thing.

My friend has a daughter who has just started at a prestigious Russell group uni. My son is at a regular uni.

My friend showed me pictures of her daughter wearing a T-Shirt on a night out bearing the slogan 'Your Dad works for my Dad'. It was for a student night out in which students from the local 'poly' and the 'proper' university were attending. Obviously it was an antagonistic slur on those attending the 'lower rated' university.

I'm from a working class background and struggled to get to university and I'm very proud of my achievements and of my son having got to where he is. I was the first in my family ever to get a degree and I went to a new university (old poly). I went to a state school and my parents worked hard but never in well-paid jobs.

AIBU to think that this smacks of class snobbery?

Many kids at decent universities will have got there through hard work and determination but many will have had the benefits of private education, middle class values and educated (and supportive) parents.

Personally I think it stinks. My friend however thought it was funny.

Sad as it sounds, the slogan probably rings true for many of the students. However, it must seem like a kick in the face in an 'I've got somewhere you'll get because you're poor' kind of way.

Sorry...just needed to vent.

[Taffeta]

I still have my ‘I’d rather be a poly than a cunt’ t shirt. I wear it when my DP, who went to a Russel Group uni, pisses me off.

Love this!!

When Tory voting DH pisses me off, I buy my Labour Party membership on his credit card.

[backaftera2yearbreak]

Urgh. This reminds me of freshers week “Edinburgh med school, don’t even pretend your not impressed”

🙄

[Snowymountainsalways]

I would be quietly reassessing my friendship. If your friend thought this was funny then it highlights a complete lack of social awareness and understanding. Do you really want or need a friend like this?

I don't think it matters so much about the student tshirt, but I question the integrity of the mother who thought it was a good idea to be showing everyone - ha bloody ha. Crass and stupid. Students are students and are supposed to be testing the world and discovering themselves the same can not be said for your so called friend.

[WaxOnFeckOff]

My DS2 was telling me this week that most of his year at school are very pessimistic about their future as they don't think they'll ever be able to afford to buy a house in "X" (local expensive property hotspot where most of them live). I just said "for christ sake can't any of them see a life for themselves that's different from what their mum and dad did and if they don't have that same life then they think they are a failure!" Why are all these DC setting their stall out based on what their parents did with their lives? What DC are we as a society raising here?

[PlatypusPie]

It does look like a nasty slogan- though some PPs have suggested that there may be some missing context here, but your attitude that RG universities are full of privileged students who have slid in to their places without making an effort is pretty vile too, OP.

[Havaina]

Someone needs to show your friend and her dd this video

m.youtube.com/watch?v=4K5fbQ1-zps

[Ali1cedowntherabbithole]

donquixotedelamancha

charming slogans such as "Fuck the NHS" on them, (I think they may have been Young Conservatives!)

Well, I suppose at least they are delivering on that promise.

ha ha ha ha

Bert that is shocking about the chav party, and yes I agree with the OP that her friend really shouldn't be proudly showing that photo around.

FWIW State Educated DD chose an ex-poly over Durham. She is doing the same qualification (NQT)in 3 years, not 4, and saving herself around £15 k + an extra years salary by doing so.

[Everanewbie]

It is a bit crass, but at the end of the day it is just students dicking around. They think its funny. Its not. Its probably not even going to make it into the top 10 stupidest/ regrettable things she does at uni.

Its a poor attempt at humour. Don't blow it out of proportion.

[GiraffeObsessedBaby]

@Taffeta @JohnnyKarate I've found my people lol this is so my dh and i!

[frumpety]

Racecardriver just out of interest how much would the average family be paying for comprehensive health insurance ? Not in the present market, but if the NHS was downgraded to the absolute bare minimum ?

[Rainbunny]

Remember that you and your son actually stand head and shoulders above your friend and her daughter. Your son was already more accomplished than your friend's daughter by the time he entered university. Their path through life has been smoothed for them, they won't have the advantage of having faced adversity, achieved something against the odds and the grit to deal with things when the going gets tough. A wise professor explained this to me when I was a working class kid at Oxbridge in the 90's.

[AnotherDayAnotherDollarRight]

So much stereotyping and so many generalisations on this thread.

There are many unpleasant snobs in this world, but there is just as much unpleasant inverse snobbery going round.

It's fair to say there are nice people and horrible people from all walks of life. If someone is offensive call them on it.

[BrightonGallery7]

Edinburgh medical students not being able to spell *you’re”?!?

Or are they being cheeky...?

[Topseyt]

My DD1 was state school educated (albeit a grammar school) and went to a top RG uni. We aren't wealthy and could never have afforded private education. We were amongst the significant minority of family in her school who didn't have lots of cash to splash.

The t-shirt is in poor taste, but sadly there are students who think like that. My DD once gave one of her former school acquaintances a big dressing down for saying that anybody who had been to a comprehensive school was not worth knowing and nor was anyone who hadn't been to at least a Russell Group uni. She told the idiot that her comments meant that a good number of our own family were not worth knowing. It soon shut her up.

I got my degree from a Poly when it was still a Poly.

[MummatoaMunchin]

Im going to go against the grain here...... it might not be what you think.

I went to an "old" university (though it was only 50 years old when i went there!!!
So not exactly old) and there was a running rivalry with the poly that was in the city too. BUT it was friendly and harmless and they gave as good as they got (and thrashed us many times at varsity). There were always t-shirts like that worn by both sides. It was funny and the rivalry wasnt serious as that university excelled in its own right being a poly meant nothing.

Not to say there isnt some snobbery unfortunately there will always be some

[BrightonGallery7]

Jeez. It’s just students being annoying little prats. That’s what they do, after all!

However, I think your friend was being passive aggressive and having a little dig, fwiw.

[bloodylovethemoomins]

She sounds like an utter arse hole

[RomanyRoots]

Personally I think it stinks. My friend however thought it was funny.

This can't be the first time your friend has had this attitude it's usually obvious in a person.
I'd choose my friends more carefully, and who I referred to as my friend.

[polkadotpixie]

I went to an ex polytechnic and we had a rivalry with the posh uni

They had the 'your Dad works for my Dad' shirts whereas ours said 'I'd rather be a poly than a cunt'

I quite liked them 😂

[frumpety]

Wax I guess some people cannot wait to be rid of their offspring !

[SmiledWithTheRisingSun]

. They are lots of wealthy parents who shamelessly play the state school system** just because people have money doesn't mean they have to agree with the existence of private schools or want to send their children to one.
This is not shameless. And there's lots of evidence to show that the more mixed a s hol is in terms of the kids' backgrounds the better the whole school does.

[0hCrepe]

Where are the mums in this as well?

[SillySallySingsSongs]

So much stereotyping and so many generalisations on this thread.

I agree. Starting with RG unis are full mostly of private educated DC.

[TonTonMacoute]

For what it’s worth, Etonians use this to taunt Harrovians (and vice versa no doubt).

However, I would not be proud or amused if I saw DS wearing such a t-shirt at a student event.

[Ravenesque]

Maybe there's a market for "Come the revolution my dad's going to put your dad against the wall and shoot him."