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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP called me horrible for not wanting to babysi

90 replies

Marlli · 11/10/2018 16:30

dp has a younger brother and sister (twins aged 11) and a younger brother aged 6. We have a baby. He told me they are coming for a few hours tomorrow..

I said I had already made plans to go to my DM at the time with our DD. He looked pissed off and said the kids can just come our house anyway. I suggested he babysits at MILs as we have no food in and they say they get bored here (no toys etc)

He said why do I never want them to come here. I never get an opinion on the matter he just agrees to have them. I feel awful saying it but his 11 yr old sister really irritates me sometimes. She follows me everywhere, jumps on my sofa, sits on my chair arm, follows me to the toilet (and so does youngest brother) so I politely tell them to sit down, wait downstairs but they just don’t listen and DP Just lets them do whatever. I cba with it. Especially when they want to hold my baby all the time. So I told DP they can come but it if I’m honest it annoys me when I get followed round, jumped all over etc and that they don’t listen to me and he sits there and lets them do whatever. So he called me horrible for saying that about children. Ugh Aibu and hormones have got the best of me or would this piss you off too?

OP posts:

karmakameleon · 11/10/2018 16:32

But if you're at your mum's they won't be able to jump on you.

Aprilislonggone · 11/10/2018 16:35

You are alienating your future babysitters imo.

teaandtoast · 11/10/2018 16:36

Well, I think the key is 'he agrees to have them'. So he can babysit and you can be elsewhere.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 11/10/2018 16:38

are alienating your future babysitters imo

This!!

I have siblings of a similar age and also teens. They have become very very useful to us now

They’re his siblings and I don’t think he should have to ask your permission if he agrees to have them over for a few hours. It’s never crossed my mind to ask my husband before I bring my siblings over.

Ragwort · 11/10/2018 16:40

You don't sound very kind, imagine if you had younger siblings & wanted them to come round? How hard is it really to bung a pizza in the oven, play a board game or all watch a film together ?

Original poster

Marlli · 11/10/2018 16:40

It’s my house though that’s what annoys me. Surely he can ask me first then tell mil it’s fine

OP posts:

Walkingdeadfangirl · 11/10/2018 16:41

But you wont even be there, you said you were going to your DMs. Surly he is entitled to have his siblings around his own house when your not there, without asking 'permission'. I think you are being unreasonable.

DaphneFanshaw · 11/10/2018 16:42

I know other people’s children are annoying, and not everyone loves being around children.
They are your DPs siblings though, he should be able to have them over.

DaphneFanshaw · 11/10/2018 16:44

it’s his house too, why should he ask you ?
I certainly don’t ask my DPs permission every time I invite my family over, especially if he won’t be there.

dontfluffthefluffer · 11/10/2018 16:46

You're wanting him to ask permission to do something with his siblings in his own house that he shares with you?

If this was the other way around you'd have people telling you to run for the hills as it sounds controlling.

noenergy · 11/10/2018 16:47

These are his siblings, why should he ask?

How would u feel if your own kids partners felt about your kids like this in the future.

DragonGoby · 11/10/2018 16:49

Just go to your Mum's as planned, leave him to look after his siblings at your house. He can sort out food etc for them.

DarlingNikita · 11/10/2018 16:50

I think what the OP is pissed off about is that he's invited them over and clearly expected her to be there to look after them.

OP, just go off to your mum's as you planned. He can look after his own siblings.

JosellaPlayton · 11/10/2018 16:51

You won’t be there, so what does it matter to you? These are your DP’s siblings and he shouldn’t have to ask your permission to spend time with them or to have them round to the house. Fair enough if you don’t want to babysit them, although I think you’re being really unkind to children that you should consider family, but no one is even asking you to do anything. I feel very sorry for your DP to be perfectly honest.

Aprilislonggone · 11/10/2018 16:51

You share a baby with him but claim the house is just yours?!

DarlingNikita · 11/10/2018 16:51

PS they do sound annoying, jumping on the sofa, sitting on chair arms, following you to the toilet even after being told multiple times.

CherryPavlova · 11/10/2018 16:52

You sound very intolerant of children. They just want friendliness and warmth.

FlowThroughIt · 11/10/2018 16:53

It sounds like he wants them over then just ditches them on the OP. Basically forcing her to babysit while he does fuck all and without asking her to do it first. Or maybe I've misunderstood...

Loonoon · 11/10/2018 16:53

I agree with PP. Go to your mums and let him have time with his brothers and sister in his home. Also, hope that when they are grown up they are a bit more tolerant of their little niece than you are of them.

Original poster

Marlli · 11/10/2018 16:54

Yeah Nikita what I probably haven’t made clear is that he is expecting me to stay and make dinner as they haven’t seen our baby “for ages” (just over a week). He smokes and often goes outside for a fag when they come and takes ages sitting on his phone.

I feel bitchy saying it I just can’t be arsed, as DP wants me to stay in so they can see the baby and not go DMs

OP posts:

Original poster

Marlli · 11/10/2018 16:55

April the house is mine. He has only recently moved in.

OP posts:

karmakameleon · 11/10/2018 16:56

You already have plans. If he wants you to be around he absolutely needs to agree it with you first.

diddl · 11/10/2018 16:57

I agree that it sounds as if he's pissed off that you won't be there.

Had you told him that you wouldn't be there?

I agree with you though that if he is also there then you should be able to go to the toilet in peace and not have yourself & your furniture jumped on if they have been told no.

JosellaPlayton · 11/10/2018 16:57

Oh just read your update. Totally different scenario then- if it’s not that you can’t be arsed with the kids, it’s that he’s expecting you to cancel your plans and then do it all, including cooking dinner whilst he takes multiple fag breaks and plays on his phone. In that case YADNBU.

Thatstheendofmytether · 11/10/2018 16:58

I hear you OP. My dp does the same with his nieces and nephews. I don't get a say even although I'm the one that ends up responsible for them and taking care of them. I've started refusing to look after them and low and behold he doesn't offer to take them anymore because guess what he cba to look after them himself. Not my problem.

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