To think middle aged people shouldn’t get tattoos?

[Sohardtochooseausername]

I am breaking up with my DP.

I am thinking I’d like to get a tattoo (my first) which would mark my new found freedom from him. It would be a secret thing I’d know about and he never would because it’s over between us. That kind of thing.

The thing is, I’m in my 40s and there’s a part of me that’s being very judgemental, thinking I’m too old/getting a tattoo at my age would be sad.

AIBU? And if so what tattoo should I get and where?

I would say that you are not too old.

However beware you aren't doing the extreme version of the breakup make over.

So many woman end a long term relationship and then get a drastic new hair cut, or buy a whole new wardrobe for a new look for their new life, some embark on new hobbies, or take up learning a new language, start training for a new career.

Often, these changes don't last long once they are properly over the end of the relationship, they start wearing clothes similar to their old style, regrow their hair and give up on many a distance learning course.

If you are just having the "make a new me to celebrate being single" itch, you might not really want the tattoo in a year's time, but unlike clothes that don't fit your lifestyle or a haircut that needs more styling than you are prepared to do - a tattoo you are stuck with if you later don't really want it.

So draw out the design, put it by your alarm clock so you look at it each morning when you wake up. If you still love it and want it on your next birthday, make it a gift to yourself.

@curlyhairedassassin

It’ll always have memories of your ex. So when you get a new partner and they see your tattoo and ask about it, will you tell them the truth and say it was part of a fresh start after your ex? Because that’s kind of suggesting that the break up was a massive deal to you. If your ex really didn’t mean anything to you anymore, why would you get a permanent reminder that he was no longer in your life? it smacks of “the lady doth protest too much.”

Agree.

IMO, tattoos are naff, ugly, permanent, and starting to get seriously dated. Every man, woman, and dog has one now, and the women who have them often have these awful cold-shoulder tops to show them off, or tats on the cleavage, and a low-cut top to show them off. Cringeworthy. And as for the ones that have the kids dates of birth - Jayden 11-12-09, and Kayden 10-12.11. vom

I hate tattoos and wouldn't have one for all the tea in China.

And re the post by @Graphista about her elderly aunt being covered in tats and piercings... and the OP saying she sounds 'cool.....' Sorry, but I don't see what is so 'COOL' about a woman in her late 60's being covered in tattoos. Sounds cringeworthy to me.

I think middle aged people getting tattoos is bad enough, but people over 60 getting them is just majorly cringeworthy!

Sorry OP. You did ask.

@echt

OED says middle age is 45 to 65.

I know it says that, but that is ridiculous!

40-45 is middle aged! It's certainly not bloody 65 like OED says....... How many 130 year old people do YOU know?!

OP I think with good tattoos you get what you pay for to a certain extent. Browse local tattoo artists Facebook pages and look at their portfolios. Look for good quality artwork, nice clean lines. Be careful if they have a very small portfolio as it might be because they don't have enough good tattoos to include. Oh and don't book with the apprentice!

Good luck. Oh and it definitely is addictive!

OED says middle-aged is 45-65 in western societies

65? In which countries do people live till they are 130?

It's not a mathematical idea, but a social perception.That's why I mentioned Western societies. It was different in the past, and will change again.

Don't understand why it is seen as ageist, there are things we just don't do when we are older but tattoo wouldn't be one of them.

Go for it!

Middle aged us a period of time, not a specific age at the mud point of your life.

Maybe have a new haircut instead to signify a fresh start.

I have many and I'm 43. I will have more. You should do what you want, whatever age you are and what makes you happy.

Nah, I'm in my late 40s, I have three tatts and planning on getting a full back piece. After I left my ex I got myself a very visible 'fuck you' tattoo on my forearm - he didn't like me having tatts.

I say go for it - just be warned that they're addictive - once you have one chances are very good you'll want some more .

Just to clarify lol - the tattoo doesn't actually say 'fuck you' - it's just very visible, whereas my other tatts are hidden beneath my clothes.

Don't understand why it is seen as ageist

It was ageist because it made general point, negatively, about a particular age group.

OP - If you want a tattoo at any age get one.

My mother got one when she was in her 70's. Age is not a barrier.

I see childhood as totally separated to our very long adulthood. So then, Middle Aged would be calculates from, say, 18-20 to the end of Around 80. So around 45/50 ish until we’ere retired.

When my stbx moves out and I have lots of dinner parties (something else he moaned about was socialising with my friends) I’m going to invite echt and thisneverebdingsummer - I love people who don’t hold back with their opinions!

You’re reflecting my own inner prejudices about tattoos. However the one I have in mind is small and very tasteful. And no one will ever know it’s there.

And I do think graphista’s aunt is cool because she’s clearly doing whatever the hell she wants, no regrets, not giving a rats ass about what anyone thinks. I want to be more like that, not afraid of being judged - even by myself. I’ve not had awful abuse at the hands of stbx but he is an asshole who made me feel bad about myself for a long time.

theprincipal my hair is already a thing, I get lots of haircuts.

Go for it. I have a sleeve representing a meaningful event in my life. I love it and I’m over 40.

Do it, I've got a cliche one I think but I still like it.

I have a clock over where my heart is, and the scar for an operation I had is part of the hands. And then in the clocks outer edge I've, times ticking by. Cliche and cringey I know

How come you haven’t had one done till now OP?

I think it’s a question worth asking yourself, before you commit. The tattoo will be there long after the thrill of rebellion has gone.

Hopefully, from the responses, you’ll see that age really isn’t an issue. Getting the right symbol for who you want to be moving forward and feeling comfortable with your choice is much more important. There are some understated and meaningful designs on this link to help get creative ideas rolling. But it’s worth taking time to wait and find something you really feel is right for you.

mashable.com/article/subtle-tattoos/?europe=true

One of my friends got hers done at 60. She's now 72. It looks amazing, as does she. I'm a bit younger than her and don't yet have any but I'm thinking about it.
If you want a tattoo, get one. Other people can think what they want to, but it's your decision.

When I’m 80 or however old I feel necessary I’m going to get Do Not Resuscitate tattood across my chest.

If it’s something you want in a by yourself for yourself sort of thing, would you condiser one using U.V ink generally not on view but you know it’s there.

How come you haven’t had one done till now OP?

My ex told me my idea was crap and I was too old to get a tattoo (this was when I was in my 30s) and he didn’t think I really wanted one.

MixedMaritalArts that’s an interesting idea!

Suki thank you for the link