To think middle aged people shouldn’t get tattoos?

[Sohardtochooseausername]

I am breaking up with my DP.

I am thinking I’d like to get a tattoo (my first) which would mark my new found freedom from him. It would be a secret thing I’d know about and he never would because it’s over between us. That kind of thing.

The thing is, I’m in my 40s and there’s a part of me that’s being very judgemental, thinking I’m too old/getting a tattoo at my age would be sad.

AIBU? And if so what tattoo should I get and where?

commanderdaisy that’s a lovely thing to remember your friend by.

If you want it do it! If you're unsure if you want it on display all of the time then get it somewhere easy to hide, hip, bum, thigh or lower back.. I have tats- most i love, 1 i regret BUT I'm proud of my younger self, i started with tats at 18 and even the 1st one was hidden. I can show it if i want but they are all easily coverable even in summer. Most people dont even know i have them.
As for what to get that is a very personal choice, find something that is meaningful to you. Good luck op.

PS make sure it is for you, and not some half-assed message to you ex. If it's the latter you'll come to hate it. Find a design and wait a bit till your heart has healed a bit.

Good artists have waiting lists.
Shit ones don't.

The beauty of being middle aged is that you can do whatever you please. They're horrible though.

Oh I found a wonderful artist, but abroad. I talked to people who showed me their tattoos and look at his book. I visited and met him, I talked about the design weeks in advance.
I think it is not only finding a good one, more finding one whose style you like.
As artists they all have their own style and you need a good match. Start by looking at their previous work on line for example

I dislike tattoos at any age. Just ask yourself whether you like your hair or clothes from 10 years ago, will you still like the tattoo??

Go for it; it isn’t a break up tattoo but an “I value my own judgement and won’t be talked out of doing what I want again” reminder. If it’s meaningful to you, do it. Mine is on the side of my hip and only shows if I wear a skimpy bikini. It’s just for me and I love it.

it isn’t a break up tattoo but an “I value my own judgement and won’t be talked out of doing what I want again” reminder.

This is what it means to me.

I'm having one at 50
Still have one from 18

No one can see them - they're mine only!

Well, I'm 50 and am thinking of getting one. Will wait until younger DD turns 18 so we can all get them - we already have (small) designs in mind. And yes, they would be highly personal. There's nothing wrong with it at all.

If anything I feel that in middle age you actually have a story to tell, and commemorating that in a permanent way makes sense.

Who cares what other peo ple thin k of you? Most of them probably dont even like themselves.
Tattoos are for adults. You're an adult - go for it!

@Everyoneiswingingit I completely get that tattoos are not for everyone and respect your opinion as you don't like them. But I think it is different to hair or clothes that are very much a temporary fashion.
A bit like a painting, it stands against time. Mine is beautiful and it will be for another 10 years because it is a life drawing of something beautiful and I don't see it all the time, it is in my back, I think this is important.
I love it and I have had it for 10 years almost now

quaffleygood how do you know the tattoo artist is a good one?

Ask someone whose tattoos you like! Most people are happy to talk about their tattoos with someone who is interested.

Also, most tattoo artists are on the Internet or even Facebook. They always used to have books of photographs of their work in the shop but now they tend to put it on the Internet. Buy a magazine or even go to a convention to see what work you like and what style. It's pretty easy to see who's good or bad. Get one who does their own artwork too, rather than the old-fashioned hacks who just do standard drawings or flash.

Another thread with an irritating and ageist title. Better to have said "I'm in a dither because I think I'm too old for a tattoo."

And as for being clueless to kind and placing. Don't, just don't.

I'm not anti-tattoo, but you're at just point in your life where you could do something you might regret, and the above sort of proves it.

If it helps, Sam Neill's got his first tattoo at 70, so waiting can be useful.

"A) 40s is NOT middle aged."

Of course it is.

My oldest tattoos are 30 years old and I still like them. I plan new stuff carefully around my blood donations.

If anything I feel that in middle age you actually have a story to tell, and commemorating that in a permanent way makes sense.

Stripping myself down to just me. Being me again. That’s what I’m trying to do.

OED says middle-aged is 45-65 in western societies.

Another thread with an irritating and ageist title. Better to have said "I'm in a dither because I think I'm too old for a tattoo."

I’m sorry you don’t like my title. It’s meant to be a little bit tongue in cheek and I’m being ageist about myself so isn’t that a bit ok? I wouldn’t say dither though. That sounds like dodder and I’m not that old.

OED says middle-aged is 45-65 in western societies.

65? In which countries do people live till they are 130?

My mum is getting her first tattoo. She’s 64. 😃

If you want, you get it. What makes you smile? It's got to be something that means 'freedom, I'm fucking fabulous, anyone that gets me is a lucky bastard'.

If there's an image or a phrase in your head that will make you smile and feel stronger, that's the thing to get!

If it makes you happy and you want to do it, doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Life becomes much happier if you stop caring what people think
Do it! And do anything else you want to aswel!

It's often advised to wait for a year before commiting to a tattoo. Particularly in these circumstances.

I would wait at least for a few months to see how I felt after that time. If you still want the tattoo, go for it.