OPs Being Terrified of Upsetting the Regulars

[strawberrisc]

Every time I see an OP tentatively promising to “try not to dripfeed” or insisting that “this isn’t a reverse” or a “stealth boast” that they’re conditioned by our little nest of vipers to format their question to suit the MN masses? I cringe when a non-regular gets torn to pieces by old MNetters for breaking these cardinal yet unwritten rules. AIBU to be ready to be bitten by vipers for said view? 🐍

Oh gawd, yea forgot all about who's your favourite mnetter. That really was like being in school

Yes, knowing about penis beaker is hardly proof you’re an established poster! I have often been tempted to just invent those MN ‘proof’ things. “NCed for this but I am a regular - penis beaker, llama socks, fogmuppetry, DH and the catamaran.”

One thing I would say is that there appears to be more gullibility now.
I'm astonished at some of the threads that are pages long with posters saying "yay OP you're amazing" when it's obvious it's a bullshit post.

Someone on here is always going to be offended by something.
I don't think anyone should be afraid to post.

@53rdWay I like your made up MN "proofs".

I agree with caroldanvers

What is there to be terrified about? Yes, there are real people behind the keyboards but at the end of the day, they’re anonymous and so are you. You can choose to take the advice or not. You can even choose to post or not. I’ve been at my lowest when I’ve posted on here and posted honestly and openly but always when I feel I’m ready to receive a mix bag of views. AIBU is, sometimes, brutal but no one can deny that you’ll often get a good 360 perspective!

I think dripfeeding can be manipulative, I think reverses can be deceitful.

I also don’t tend to recognise usernames but I’m hardly a prolific poster.

Who frightened off the OP...?

I do remember a time when there was a group of posters who seemed to know each other and would do lots of 'waving' etc. It could be a bit irritating at times, but at least those posters had wit, intelligence and a crisp elegant way of disagreeing with others.

But nowadays they seem to have been replaced by a bunch of ignorant bullies who just plough onto threads, make rude and crass remarks and will often put at the end as if they think that will somehow elevate their obnoxious posts to ironic and droll. It doesn't.

The TAAT rule is a fucking nonsense rule

Also that "my wife left me over a dishes in the sink" article as though that article is proof of anything other than the wife being a nightmare should be against the rules

But but but drip feeding is very annoying and often done imo to steer the thread in the way the OP wants it to go. Same thing with reverse threads.

Also I don’t think there is a clique at all any more.

I agree it can be annoying GreatDuck when it's done in a manipulative say. For instance when an OP posts something that is clearly unreasonable, everyone tells her so, then she comes on and says that she's suffering from PND and she's been crying for hours over peoples replies because she's very vulnerable right now.
I think that kind of thing is very unfair and guilt tripping posters who replied in good faith.

But sometimes a poster just adds in more information as the discussion evolves and it becomes relevant and is then accused of dripfeeding. As a result a lot of OPs now feel they have to practically write a novel for their first post in case they leave anything out. That's tedious to read so a lot of posters just click off the thread.

Sometimes the dripfeeding is unintentional. It can be difficult to put down the relevant inflrmation to the OP as shortly as possible and sometimes the additional questions remind of something that the OP hasn't made the connection. Additionally people often post when they are upset and emotional and in a few hours they might be more rational and then they get blamed for manipulating the thread.

I find most annoying the jumping to conclusions. There has been many instances where the people responding have given very blunt, mean and rude comments eventhough OP have not mentioned a lot of the things that they are being criticised. Also when someone asks a question wether to tell someone something, how to move forward etc. People just comment to tell how horrible the person is eventhough they are asking for advice.

I've seen a few posters claiming it was a reverse after a pages of everyone telling them they were BU...

Agree with MqV2 about TAAT rule

I don't think there's as much of a clique as there used to be.

Many of the OPs who drip feed do so when they don't get the answers they expect from posters and it's just one justification after another as to why they aren't unreasonable when they obviously are. That's why it's so annoying, when it's obvious they are making stuff up to, eg, make the person they are complaining about sound bad. Reverses drive me mad and I don't understand why they do it. As soon as I know it's a reverse I stop reading.

What's a pombear?

pombear - disgusting, tasteless crisp for kids that is made of cardboard with no salt, sugar or additives and therefore an appropriate MC snack for kids! There was also a legendary thread about pombears at some point in MN history.

YNBU. I noticed a few years ago people started to have to state at the start "name change" etc because otherwise they got totally slaughtered for not having done it. There was a thread a few weeks ago where the woman forgot to add a detail about something and again got slagged off for "drip feeding" by a couple of regulars.

I agree it can be annoying GreatDuck when it's done in a manipulative say. For instance when an OP posts something that is clearly unreasonable, everyone tells her so, then she comes on and says that she's suffering from PND and she's been crying for hours over peoples replies because she's very vulnerable right now

There was a woman who was posting about childcare re grandparents, said in her opening post that grandparent was refusing to take child, etc. On that limited info people said , "YBU". Then later on she added that actually her husband had died and she was having a baby and the grandparent wouldn't take the kid whilst she went alone into hospital. Obviously, a very sad thing she was going through, but AFTER adding that every next poster was being so nasty and slating the previous people who were saying yes you;re being unreasonable. They even got called "disgusting" etc. The op in that case wasn't deliberately being manipulative (she was going through a horrific time), but the sheer poisonous joy of the following posters raging against the previous was just plain scary.

One thing that always amuses me, even when 99.99% of posters tell the OP that she is unreasonable, there will always be one staunchly defending the OP no matter how unreasonable she is. I call them the OP defenders and tend to disregard their posts.

Probably a sock puppet Silvery

I like Pom bears my kids hate them though

I find it strange so many people claim there are no regulars but there are posters that get so much admiration and unprecedented amounts of " i agree with X" that is constant that no other posters get but a select few. There are regularly threads on here about "anyone from X time or remember poster Y" that always get 100s of posts talking about X posters. I dont try and look at posters names or MN too often but when i read threads it seems very clear there are people who are very idolised and sought out which when you think of the size of MN its unlikely that the same posters would be interacted in this way repeatedly.

I am terrified to find out about the trans-feminism stuff that keeps popping up for this very reason!!

I want to find out. I love reading and finding out new viewpoints. But that subject is such a hug emotive subject. Full acronyms I have no idea what they mean. And lots of angry people who apparently shout down those who are genuinely asking for help to get involved.

Terrifying!