Has anyone ever worked out why their demon was being fat?

[bluetrampolines]

I know how to diet. I know how to exercise. I have every aspect of my life nailed. Almost. Apart from being fat.

Why is this my demon? Can anyone help?

When you did out, can you let me know?

Find out, not did!

Nope.

Because exercise takes effort and food tastes good? For all the many reasons people give for being overweight and unable to lose it this is, ultimately, the basic reason why.

Sure, there may also be some psychological reason why you can’t stop eating or commit to being healthy - but you’d have to be really lacking in self awareness to have no inkling of whether this was the case.

You're an emotional eater. So am I. I'm not fat but need to drop 10 pounds. Food is like my best friend.

Oh I sympathize. I am a v disciplined person except with food. Tbh I wish I could just accept myself and let it go once and for all.

Don't diet. Just eat less in general.

For me and I suspect a lot of others it was inactivity. I bought a Fitbit and saw that I was burning a lot fewer calories than I thought I was so when I thought I was cutting calories enough to lose a bit I was still eating more than I was burning. The government recommended 2000 calories per day for women is rubbish if you're sitting in an office all day and driving to and from work, if I don't consciously add in some exercise I burn just over 1300 calories in a day so I just kept gaining weight until I upped my exercise enough.

So do thin people give themselves self worth and I don't? Or what?

I look like a heap and I'm sick of it.

So do thin people give themselves self worth and I don't? Or what?

I think it can become an emotional cycle. Not necessarily a particularly complicated one, but more along the lines of you dislike the way you look so you eat for comfort; and because losing weight seems like a mammoth task and you already feel crap and can’t bear the idea of “denying yourself” and feeling crapper then you just feel more rubbish anyway and so eat for comfort and so on.

I think it’s far easier to stay slim once you are slim, because you feel much better about yourself.

I hear you OP. You'll get plenty of people coming on and saying its all about willpower, just eat less and move more, its simple blah blah. Those people have zero insight into how much some of us struggle with our relationship with food. I'm a classic yoyo dieter, I must have lost and gained the same 2 stone about 100 times. I'm loved, I have good friends, I enjoy my job, I'm intelligent, and yet. I cannot beat these demons no matter how much I try. And believe me I do try.
No advice but plenty of empathy.

I’m a physically in-shape person and always have been. I love working out and having physical challenges, and have long accepted that eating well is part-and-parcel of that. I love flavorful food, but understand that food is also fuel and nutrition plays a big part in my mental and physical well-being. Plus I like having muscle definition more than I like cream cakes, which might sound horribly condescending, but you’ll find that a lot of athletic people hold similar opinions.

Some slim people have a healthy attitude to food - no emotional eating. They have treats occasionally.
Some slim people use strong self discipline to keep the calories down.
I have known slim people who insist they eat what they want but don't put on weight. Truth is they are subsisting on a sandwich and a bag of crisps each day.
It doesn't help you to focus on other people.
Focus on why you are reaching for that cake/chocolate etc.

I think it’s far easier to stay slim once you are slim, because you feel much better about yourself.

Not for me. I lose weight, feel better, then return to my old bad habits and hate myself again. No idea why I can't break the cycle, if it were a matter of will I'd have done it hears ago.

*years

I have been trying to work this out nearly all my life.

I can lose weight on holiday. Doesn't matter how much I stuff my self or how little exercise I do the weight falls of.

I was in Spain for 10 days recently. Drove down. Parked on the drive way to the villa. Went out to eat every night, pasta, pizza, ice cream. Italian restaurants every night. Huge amount of food.
No exercise because we drove everywhere.

I came back and went on the scales.

I had dropped 8 lbs in 10 days.

We usually go for a couple of weeks to the US and I have never failed to lose 10lbs sometimes a stone in a couple of weeks but I think that could be because I hate the bread in America and don't eat it.

If I could just go on holiday for 6 months I would be a super model.

This thing about eat a bit less and you will lose weight doesn't work for some people

I wonder if it can also actually be detrimental, to drum too hard about weight loss not being about willpower and motivation. By fixating on weight as something that’s so deeply rooted in your psyche and personality and emotional responses, it makes weight loss sound like an impossible task which you’ll never be able to achieve without therapy or deep introspection - so therefore, why even try the willpower? I’m not sure that’s a helpful attitude to adopt.

ComtesseDeSpair I have lost weight many times through willpower. I know it's achieveable but what I don't know is how to make long term changes and keep the weight off for good. That's just me though, not necessarily the OPs issue (don't mean to hijack the thread OP!)

Food tastes good, but more than that I turn to it in times of stress and strain. It's a comfort. I just spent four months doing healthy eating and losing weight slowly, was enjoying myself, thought I'd cracked it and boom I had a couple of stressful experiences one after the other (new job then illness) and before I know it I've binged it all back on.

Most people lose weight when they're ill but not me, I just want to hide under the duvet with a family sized bag of doritos. Or three.

Losing it again now but I do sometimes feel like that mythical guy who rolled a stone up a hill only to have to roll it back again when he got to the top... Sisyphus I think it was?

oliversmumsarmy how on earth do you manage to lose weight when on hols? that's amazing!

@LittleMissedTheSunshine are you me?

Comtesse, I'm an emotional eater who uses willpower not to over eat. I need to lose 10 pounds - been trying to lose it for 10 years. If I didn't use willpower I would be a lot heavier.
But if I'm bored or stressed my first instinct is to reach for pastry or Haribou.

LittleMissedTheSunshine
I have no idea. The only thing I can think of is either the water I drink in the UK is somehow really fattening or the sunshine is melting it off me.

Disclaimer: I'm not overweight.

But I often do privately ponder this from time to time. I have a couple of overweight friends who spend their lives alternating between being on a diet and failing at diets. Then starting a new diet. Then failing at it. Continuously feeling themselves deprived due to said diets, then eating too much and not even enjoying it because of guilt. Usually there has been a period in their lives when they successfully lost weight and kept it off before it crept back on. This seems to act as a magical 'carrot' to their thinking processes for years afterwards. Sort of, 'I did it once, I can do it again'. I do wonder why they don't work on accepting themselves as they are. It seems like it would a lot more of an enjoyable experience than the current hell they put themselves through. But as I say, I'm not overweight, so I don't understand the (probably messed up) thought processes that go into it all. I do have my own demons, which are probably just as bad, though. They just aren't food related! Don't assume the grass is greener. I hope you find peace OP!

Because exercise takes effort and food tastes good? For all the many reasons people give for being overweight and unable to lose it this is, ultimately, the basic reason why.

This is certainly why I can't lose weight. I can blame having a toddler, being ill so being exhausted, being depressed, not being able to run any more after surgery, but it basically boils down to having a limited amount of energy every day and being more willing to spend it eating a Crunchie while reading a book than getting on the exercise bike.