Has anyone ever worked out why their demon was being fat?

[bluetrampolines]

I know how to diet. I know how to exercise. I have every aspect of my life nailed. Almost. Apart from being fat.

Why is this my demon? Can anyone help?

I have every single aspect of my life under control. I believe I have a good relationship both with my partner and with my family, have long-lasting quality friendships, a decent job with nice co-workers. I keep a planner and sometimes I can swear to God I am the most organised person on this planet.

However..... I am an emotional eater. Back in 2013 I dropped from 62 kg to 47 through a lot of exercise. I looked amazing. Now I weigh 56 kg and I am unhappy about it. My ideal weight is 50. I eat not necessarily a lot, but crap.

I know. I need to sort my life out.

i am not overweight even though i have recently have put on a stone. im an emotional eater and eat when stressed and want something nice to relax and take my mind to a nicer place.

it's not just exercise, weight is more about how many calories you eat.

i really dont know what the solution is but i know i need to stop soon.

what height are you mono?

@cementpointing 1.57 cm. I'm tiny!

Wheel that is interesting about the urge to eat. I'm naturally slim and I don't think I've ever experienced this. I've had cravings for chocolate or various things during pregnancy but I don't think I've ever felt an urge to eat. I might feel like I need to eat because I'm hungry or my blood sugar is low, but that's all.

All of you have partly got it. I'm not vein. I wear awful clothes and dont at all expect to look good. I look presentable but not stylish. I feel defeated.

All people saying that there isn't any such thing as a fast metabolism there really is.

I lose weight on a 2500 calorie diet

I lose weight if I stop exercising and maintain the same diet

Aside from a bit of muscle, I cannot gain weight if I try.

I am more than normally active yes but that's facilitated by my fast metabolism rather than the cause of it.

I haven't been able to exercise for the last 3 months owing to a shoulder injury aside from riding my bike to and from work (15 minutes a day). I've been eating as much as ever and drinking way more than usual and in that 3 months I lost 5kg, which is ~10% of my bodyweight, which I'm kind of screwing about cos it's going to take me about 6 months to put it back on again

I think it’s far easier to stay slim once you are slim, because you feel much better about yourself.

This. I have a huge incentive to stay slim now because I look so much better .... I like the way I look much more than I like the amount of food that would lead to weight gain. Plus Ive trained my stomach and to a lesser extent my mind now to be happy with less food.

I had a massive incentive to lose weight though... it gave me enough willpower and determination to get through the difficult first month.

I would add that it will help your self esteem to dress nicely and make an effort with how you look. Larger women can still look stunning.

Ferrier

What was your huge incentive?

I hope you dont mind me asking.

Well I have a theory. I can lose weight and go for up to 6 months 5kgs lighter. But then it's like I can't control myself, I start eating again. I haven't been able to get over this hurdle. And I read somewhere that our metabolism stretches over years ie. it takes years to change it, and your body is used to a certain amount of exercise and food and while you might alter it for a few months, ultimately you get dragged back by your metabolism. Only if you manage to change your eating and exercising patterns for years (like 5), will your metabolism slowly change. My theory anyway.

But I haven't managed to maintain a lower weight for any length of time. I still keep trying though.

Yes HIV.

I tested HIV positive in my 20s. This was before effective treatment had been developed and after Id seen quite a few people die of full blown AIDs.

I was one of the 0.01% of people for whom the test was not accurate. Hurray for me. But by the time that got sorted out I had developed issues about loosing weight (am afraid of it basically). So as the pounds have slowly accumulated over the years I find it incredibly difficult to loose them - do a few weeks then panic.

Barber

What a story. What an amazing story.

I can relate to the aspect of you being afraid to lose weight. Like the thin version of you is somehow wrong. As I lose weight I find I almost dont recognise myself. Weird.

BarbarianMum Dp is going through something similar.

He has terminal cancer although ATM he has 3 monthly check ups and is clear.

At his most ill he lost a considerable amount of weight and although he should keep himself at a healthy weight he is now the biggest he has ever been.

His fear is losing weight means he is getting sicker.

for you and your dh Olivers

Thank you Barbarian

“So why do you think our country is obese? A catastrophic failure of willpower?”

I think it’s exactly that. I have a pretty fast metabolism and enjoy exercise. But I live in a city, work behind a desk, so don’t NEED to be active. And I love cake, pizza, steak frites, curry, nice bread... you get the picture.

As a result I spent my 30s 15kg overweight. A year ago I went on my first ever diet. Tbh it wasn’t too hard and I went down by 15kg, to a 22 BMI, in a few months.

It feels great. But every day I have to tell myself not to eat that cupcake!

I can hazard a guess why so many people are fat.

Myself and my overweight friends all have very busy chaotic lives.

We don’t work 9-5 we don’t know what we are doing the next day. We are all insomniacs. And all incredibly stressed with stuff that is happening around us.

I think in there is the reason or combination of reasons why we as a nation has gotten so fat.
And probably why I lose weight on holiday. Not because I am sticking to salads or walking more because I am not. I think my stress levels go down and without the stress my body processes food more efficiently

**I was in Spain for 10 days recently. Drove down. Parked on the drive way to the villa. Went out to eat every night, pasta, pizza, ice cream. Italian restaurants every night. Huge amount of food.
No exercise because we drove everywhere.

I came back and went on the scales.

I had dropped 8 lbs in 10 days.**

^Overeating and no exercise. Yeah of course you did (!)

I do eat emotionally and losing weight for me involves very restrictive eating and heroic amounts of exercise, which is hard to sustain. So I’ve made my peace with being fat and am focusing on eating good Qual food and keeping active, doing only stuff I enjoy (walking, weight lifting, yoga). Every diet has resulted in more weight going back on and I’m done with it.

I think I know mine; I can blame all my problems on me being fat. Not popular? It's because I'm fat - not because I am an unlikeable person. Not progressing at work? It's because I am fat - not because I am not what they are looking for for another reason. Not happy in my relationship? It's because I am fat - not for any other reason.

If I didn't have my fat crutch; I would have to face up to other problems and risk realising that there could be a deeper issue - like just not being a generally very nice or good person.

Sorry posted too soon

Years ago I cannot remember life being this difficult.

Sat with my friend yesterday as she changed her house insurance.

Looked on the comparison website. Got a quote then rang her insurance company up who had put her insurance up by over £300.

Took about 10 minutes to talk to someone to see if they would match it or if not cancel it. She was told no they couldn’t discount it so she asked to not renew with them. She got cut off a couple of times. She had to explain to the person on the phone over and over again as she was fed through different departments and finally after about an hour she had cancelled her house insurance.

Everything you do no matter how small seems to take an hour.

The stress everyone is under now is huge.

""So do thin people give themselves self worth and I don't""

There seems to be so many anxiety disorders around.

Young, attractive, thin Women destroying their faces and bank balances by cosmetic procedures.

Drug and alcohol over-use, that I don't think you can say that thin people have any more self worth/esteem than fat people.

Look at all the abusive/controlling Men, they don't have good self worth.

Mine is simple, I over consume calories. I dont over eat. Its bad planning. Its a matter of prioritising. Which I've vowed to do, over Winter. I'm out and about less, so I can make time to cook/plan.

I watch the Dr Mosley stuff. They've just shown Tai Chi to be as effective as Zumba, heavy weights and less reps to be more effective than lots of time spent exercising etc. So the science is tbere to help us. Its just getting the eating right. Which he also addresses.

And yes greendale17 I did.
Others on this thread have said the same happens to them

I blame sugar too for my weight issues. When I eat high carb foods it's like I'm driven to eat more and more and I'm hungry all the time.
I've lost 3 stone this year, with at least that to go again. I've done it in bursts of intense low carbing, the first time in March, second in mid May and now since late September.
I discovered low-carb boot camp on here during that time which has helped a lot.
I find for me, sticking to a calorie controlled diet is hard because I'm always craving carbs and would lose around 1 pound a week. Eventually I'd have a blow out and end up putting on most of what I've lost back on which gets really disheartening if it has taken two months to lose 10/12 pounds and it, hops on again in a week.
Every year up until this I've lost a stone/stone and half and put it back on at least 3 times each year. It's been horrible and the sense of failure and feeling defeated yet again is awful and has lead to terrible self hatred feelings about my inadequacy when it comes to my weight and lack of control over eating.

Low carb is not something I've been able to stick to all the time, I've got bored and miss carbs a lot but I can do it very well for a couple of months and in that time lose a significant amount of weight. When I take a planned break I do gain some pounds back but I've set a limit on how many and know when I start to feel out of control I will switch back to low carb for another burst of weight loss.
I think I've finally figured that for me short sharp bursts of been extremely disciplined with fast results work better than attempting to be normally disciplined long term with slower weigh loss if that makes sense.

The beauty of low carb is the lack of cravings and hunger. The first few days are a battle but once glycogen stores are depleted its amazing how food becomes so unimportant and loses its control over me.
There's a new 10 week Boot Camp starting next Monday for anyone interested.