Has anyone ever worked out why their demon was being fat?

[bluetrampolines]

I know how to diet. I know how to exercise. I have every aspect of my life nailed. Almost. Apart from being fat.

Why is this my demon? Can anyone help?

It works for me because I'm busy in the day and can look forward to 'the big pig out'.

It was stopping dieting that worked for me.
I had the typical dysfunctional relationship with food... Eat it for all wrong reasons, after momentary confort, then came self loathing and plans to 'change' tomorrow.
It was when I took away the good and bad connotations of food, so no more good apple bad biscuits, and listened to what my body was saying that I faced down the demons.
I can only say I had a light bulb moment and it was honestly not hard after that. But maybe at 40 odd I was just ready.
I had and still occasionally do have relapses of bulimia and have to be wary of that but otherwise I eat what I want, when I want it but I only eat enough to stop feeling hungry.
And when I have an urge to eat, I stop and think through few steps.. Am I actually really genuinely hungry... And if the answer is no, I make myself analyse why I was reaching for food.. Am I bored, upset, thirsty, tired.. If it is anything but hunger I self soothe with something else and most times then the thoughts about food vanish.
If people struggle with emotional eating maybe try just once a day when you reach for food to stop and think why your eating and try doing something else instead.
It builds a habit, as after all over eating is just a habit... Very hard to break but you can.

I'm fat as I loathe myself, so I stay fat to punish myself even though it makes me miserable and I can't break out of it, I also drink a shit load which is the main weight causing problem, and is also because I loathe myself. Ta-dah!

I'm in therapy before anyone asks...

Joan - why do you loathe yourself?
You have one thing going for you at least, which is that you're self-aware!

Gwenhwyfar, we could be here for a few years. I've been at therapy for nearly two years, I'm very slowly unravelling things and am also incredibly stubborn, and as you say self aware , so it might take a bit longer yet...

My demon isn't being fat it's a side effect of my deeper problems.

theredjelly I like Paul Mackenna's "Are you a member of the clean plate club?" So when you begin his way of eating , which similar to what you do now. You try to deliberately leave some food on you plate. If I'm really enjoying something and inclining towards overeating I say to myself "leave it in the fridge for tomorrow or later" Which works!

@theredjellybean I hope you don’t mind but I have sent you a PM.

ppeatfruit how do I leave food, if I feel sorry for it? Writing that down... blimey, what a bad attitude to food I have

It's true though. I look at the food on my plate and I see it as my duty to finish it even if I am absolutely full. It's been made for me, or by me - what a shame it would be to 'waste' it.

Occasionally, especially when I'm not even trying, I can leave food - but for the life of me, I have no idea where to 'find' it.

(I come from the family 'clean your plate' club. I will never do that with my kids.)

gust you just tell it (out loud) that you'll keep it fresh in the fridge and really honour it by properly enjoying it at your next meal, or tomorrow!!

Because when you;re too full you can't do it the justice it deserves!!

It sounds like you'd do well with the Paul Mackenna way of eating !!

ppeat I have his book and CD, tried it once a long while ago.. I also have the book Never Binge Again. It's almost like I want to wallow in the misery isn't it?!

I'm going to dust it off. Thanks.

I come from the family 'clean your plate' club

I think this is very common in older generations particularly those that lived through rationing and the war and the immediate generation raised by them.

There is nothing wrong with an attitude of don't waste food. Leaving food on your plate for the sake of it is just plain dumb.

The trick though is to make sure that you only serve yourself the food you will eat to satisfy yourself.
It's about portion control and getting used to what hunger feels like for you and what satiation feels like for you.

Eating quickly is another issue because it takes abit of time for your "I'm full" sensor to activate.

This is why it's common for people to feel they are rolling out of "all you can eat" buffets or hotel afternoon tea where the sandwiches and cakes just keep coming. You keep eating thinking you are hungry because it's delicious and right in front of you.

By the time your "I'm full" sensor switches on, you are over-stuffed.

"There is nothing wrong with an attitude of don't waste food. Leaving food on your plate for the sake of it is just plain dumb. "

Well there obviously is something wrong with it if it makes us put on weight. It's a pity to waste food, but if we want to not be overweight, sometimes we have to.

"The trick though is to make sure that you only serve yourself the food you will eat to satisfy yourself."

People are not always serving themselves though.

People with 'fast metabolisms' just eat less and move more

Ignorant statement to claim - My best friend eats a huge amount of food , most of it unhealthy, i.e processed crap - she's a petite size 8.

I'm a size 6-8 - I absolutely prefer 'healthy food' such as veg and fruit and I'm 'body shamed' at work such as today I mentioned I used the 1cal oil spray (only because my son is on a fitness plan and bought it) - I was told it was ridiculous and 'have you seen the size of her? She's miniscule!'

"Ignorant statement to claim - My best friend eats a huge amount of food , most of it unhealthy, i.e processed crap - she's a petite size 8."

Unless you follow her with a camera for two weeks, I'm not buying it. Most thin people who say they eat loads don't really. If they have a big meal for lunch they'll self-regulate and have less for dinner, for example.

Look at this programme. It's a bit like the opposite of Secret Eaters
www.channel4.com/programmes/the-truth-about-slim-people

Exactly - you never know how much someone is consuming over a day. I have a healthy appetite, eat what i want when i want including junk food but stay slim because i dont have seconds, big portions or clean my plate if i don't want to. I hate feeling really full and I move alot! I haven't got a fast metabolism I just don't consume more than I need to function.

Eating off smaller plates helps.

Recent diagnosis of PCOS here. I’m 49. Put on ketogenic diet by endocrinologist and have lost three stone so easily and feel amazing. Still struggling to process how this condition has impacted my life/weight/energy unknowingly over the past 35 years. Was always bemused sisters /friends could eat more do less etc whilst I was a fat very hairy pig but very active and moderate eater also. Whenever I dared think for a millisecond oh “maybe it’s my glands” I thought no I’m just fat and lazy - when I wasn’t. So glad it’s been picked up now by private endocrine specialist (dr lulsegged if anyone interested). My life has been totally transformed.

"Exactly - you never know how much someone is consuming over a day."

Thin people tend to self-regulate so if they eat a big meal and junk snacks around you, they may not eat much afterwards or the next day, not in a conscious effort to maintain their weight, but subconsciously.