Has anyone ever worked out why their demon was being fat?

[bluetrampolines]

I know how to diet. I know how to exercise. I have every aspect of my life nailed. Almost. Apart from being fat.

Why is this my demon? Can anyone help?

I made very small changes that seem to work for me. Cheese on toast for breakfast was replaced by a banana and yoghurt. Gin instead of wine. Using the stairs in work occasionally instead of the lift. Just these tiny things have made a big difference. 9lbs gone and a dress size down.

Depends. Must being fat be the single way you describe yourself? Body weight just is, its incidental to you. You are more than it. And it may not be the problem that needs addressing, or as much of a problem as you think it is (my Mum was a successful entrepreneurial businesswoman when I was growing up, also a dedicated and exceptional charity fundraiser, a good Mum and a good friend - but she only ever saw herself as fat, as the xxl size she was, or as a would be successful then failed dieter - I thought she was beautiful with her office outfits of 80s silk shirts and shoulder pads, killer heels and lipstick, my school friends said they admired her, men said they couldn’t see a problem with her size, that she was great.) I just wish she could see the blindspot. Its not that she wasn’t fat, its that she gave it all her time.

But yes, some people find comfort in eating or safety in weight, perhaps through emotional difficulties. We also live in an environment of plenty that we are designed to gain weight in, so while technically it should be easy not to eat too much, it is physiologically an uphill struggle.

It's not about self worth. It's self control. And thin and fat are terrible terms. There's healthy weight and unhealthy weight.

I'm a healthy weight. I know how many calories I need to maintain given my usual activity levels. So I eat within that. If I want a treat, I know how much exercise I need to do to burn it off and I do it. There are no days off. Stick to a calorie limit of exercise off the extra. Buy it's bloody hard work.

Why is this my demon? Can anyone help?

Fat is like alcoholism. It is a symptom.

There is something in your life that is making you overeat; that's all there is to it.

Alcoholics don't drink because they enjoy alcohol. They drink to deal with some underlying emotional issue they are treating with alcohol. you are the same it's just your treatment is food.

It maybe emotional eating. It maybe that you don't want to be attractive to men because you are scared of rejection or had an abusive experience in your past. It maybe because you feel more invisible and thus safer if you are overweight.

Dig down and you will find your answer

There's been a study out out recently showing the regain weight (over 6 years) and metabolic damage done to those who were on the biggest loser series. to cut a long story short - if you've dieted to any significant level you will have reduced your base metablolic rate. unless you come off the diet in a greatly controlled manner, slowly reintroduce calories and stick to healthy eating afterwards, you will forever have to eat below your previous BMR or you will continue to regain weight.
so i guess skinny people who stay slim are most likely the ones who haven't really put themselves on diets in the first place.

It’s in our DNA to eat high calorie foods and enjoy them, because when we first evolved we didn’t know when our next meal would be. I think it’s so ingrained in some people that it’s hard to diet. Well this is my excuse anyway! 😁😁

I'm overweight.

I know why. I eat when I'm sad, or tired. When I'm sad I justify it to myself, when I'm tired I have poor decision making capabilities. I also have a lousy "feeling full" reflex - I don't until way too late.

I don't enjoy exercising, and literally will not think of it unless prompted. So it's a constant psychological battle against my own stupid thoughtless self-gratifying self. Which I'm fully aware of, and have no excuses.

Recently I've being pushing myself to exercising - I'm doing a couch--to-5k (at about 2 of supposed to be 3 sessions a week) and one or two in-house 10min aerobic sessions a week, with alarms set to prompt me (which I sometimes cancel). I'm avoiding bread - not for direct (dubious!) health benefits, but because if I have to build myself a meal rather than a sandwhich, I'm too lazy to bother and I won't have that extra unneeded food.

It's working a bit, I'm down a stone after three months and my cholesterol levels are halfway back to healthy levels. Hard, fighting against your own brain.

@SpoonBlender

But that's a massive achievement. Losing that first stone is something to be hugely proud of.

I'm not fat. I was. I lost 3 stone through toil and sweat and despair, tbh, and it will forever be my battle.

And now there's a fat girl standing in a pair of size 10's shouting "eat the fucking tiramisu and be happy, you knobjockey" at me every time I go to the local Sainsburys. I will forever have a fat twat demon in my head shouting obscenities about pick'n'mix.

Fat demon when I was fat, fat demon now I'm not fat. Can't win.

I reckon there are as many reasons for being OW as there are people, I have been watching my weight for many years.

I do keep it off but it takes work, and as I get older it gets harder ! Sorry! I do know that if I haven't slept well it is much more difficult and that is because our guts don't produce a hormone that signals to our bodies that we should stop eating.

I lost the most weight and have maintained with Paul Mackenna because his method is not a diet such , it addresses the emotional side of it all. It's brilliant, have a look at it it's called "i Can Make You Thin" Stupid title, I don't want to be thin, just slim and I dropped 3 stone with it. It's for life and you can go on and off it with no problems; no CC or diet foods, or clubs. Good luck

I was in Spain for 10 days recently. Drove down. Parked on the drive way to the villa. Went out to eat every night, pasta, pizza, ice cream. Italian restaurants every night. Huge amount of food.
No exercise because we drove everywhere

Was it cutting out food between meals maybe ? In hot countries I don't tend to eat chocolate and tea and biscuits and all the various little things throughout the day.

I'm definitely overweight, though not exactly fat. I cycle 90 miles a week and eat lots of veg.

I just really like red wine, pizza and pasta and am a greedy pig.

Fuck it, life's too short. I might get him by a bus tomorrow so I'll live with not being a size 10.

I lost 5 stones on the year I left my ex. I didn't try at first, it was just the first time in years I had relaxed, the first three stones just went in the first six months of freedom. After that I began to feel better about myself, not just because of the weight loss, but because I didn't have someone constantly insulting me. I started running again and the rest just went. Cortisol can have awful effects on your health, one of which is weight gain.

I'm slim-ish (size 8-10 and just under 9 stone) but skinny fat.

I do eat healthyish meals and very little dairy, wheat or meat but they're big portions and I also eat a lot of crisps, chocolate, cake etc. Pretty much every day.

The only exercise I do is walking and running after my kids.

I have a fast metabolism I suppose.

I'm definitely like an alcoholic with food. When I'm on a binge, I don't feel in control. I don't want to be doing it, I curse it when I feel it coming on. It's a feeling akin to physical hunger, only of course it's not physical it's psychological. I always think just one more (cake/biscuit/whatever it is I'm craving) and then I'll be satisfied, but then I never am. I want more and more and more. And no matter how much I eat its never enough, I never get to 'satisfied'.

I pray that the next day will be different, that I'll get my control back because I can't imagine another day like this, but the next day it's just the same until eventually I manage somehow to stop eating everything in sight and start another diet. This is what it's like being a yo yo binge eater.

@Fiftyshadesofgreymatter Thank you! But, eh, only kind of true... the first stone is easy, I've done it half a dozen times :( it's keeping the willpower together for more than six months that fails. Sigh.

I've always been slim to the point of dipping into underweight several times during my life and I don't think it's always something which is related to behaviour. I've never been on a diet and I don't generally think about what I eat or my weight. I know I'm unfit and could stand to develop (a lot) more muscle/stamina but that's all.

I don't really have a taste for fattening foods - don't like greasy, fatty foods and find carbs bland - or a large appetite which is probably the main thing which keeps me slim. I'm not particularly good at willpower - I never exercise even though I should, my self esteem isn't particularly high (it's not particularly low either) and I do snack, and often on junk food, although if I snack enough I'll skip a meal because I'm not hungry. I don't really tend to eat emotionally - if anything feeling emotional tends to kill my appetite even more. I find food a bit of a chore and I'm lazy about it. I'd rather go to bed hungry than make dinner if I'm tired.

If I would make a guess at what makes me slim I think it's a combination of genetics (they say there's a gene which makes you prefer fatty foods or not) and maybe being modelled healthy eating habits in childhood? My mum doesn't emotionally eat or diet or worry about her weight either, we always tended to eat plenty of veg with things like chips being rare, and small portions.

I suppose also, eating isn't like other habits, if you realise that you have an issue with alcohol or gambling or a crap boyfriend you can cut all of these things out and reduce your access to them, but you always need to eat.

My demon is smoking - and I don't touch it at the minute because I have small DC but it's very easy for me to do that because I don't have tobacco or cigarettes in the house and I don't spend time around people who smoke. I would have to go out of my way to buy cigarettes and I'd feel guilty doing that and I know DH would be upset if he found that I'd done it.

If I had to choose every day several times a day to keep myself alive and healthy the choice between vaping some harmless water and smoking a proper nicotiney, tarry cigarette (for example) it would be hopeless and I'd smoke regularly for sure.

I too lose weight on holiday - I don't snack on holiday. I also lose weight at christmas. All that gluttony puts me off.

Fat wasn't my demon. Sugar was and fat was just the side effect of too much sugar. I'm not fat (and haven't been since my late teens) but I know my body and mind well enough now to understand it's "unhappiness" or "anxiety" triggers.

I eat emotionally and here's my story. A while back my mum had a serious health scare so I self medicated with a bottle of wine each night, bags of haribo and blocks of chocolate for about a month. But sugar feeds sugar and the only way I can stop the cravings is to cut it all out.

So I went no booze, no sugar, no processed foods, no dairy, no grain. Just healthy fats, protein and a shit ton of vegetables (and minimal fruit for the first 2 weeks because sugar is sugar). And once I started eating like this and the sugar cravings stopped after a few days, it felt good to put good stuff in my body, which made me want to pick up my exercise levels because I had more energy and so on.

I don't miss sugar, or cake, or ice cream or chocolate, or most importantly, alcohol. Because I don't eat sugar I don't crave it any longer.

This demon is an external influence not an internal one. It doesn't reside inside me, the sugar demon doesn't belong to me, it was something I was putting inside of me that was causing the weight gain and the lethargy and the cravings and the lack of will power and I just didn't realize that until I cut that bastard off, I'm going to keep going around in circles.

Being fat is not your demon, it is a by product of something you're putting in your body that is causing you to comfort eat or overeat.

I can't recommend cutting out sugar more highly, it has given me a clarity and lease in life that I never thought possible.

I have started eating a high fibre diet for reasons other than weight although I could do with loosing a bit, everyday I eat a big pile of green leaves, and lots of other fruit and veg. Since starting this I have lost a stone but I am no longer having nearly as many food cravings suggesting I was previously lacking some vitamins or minerals.

Thinking about this today,I'm overweight, currently losing weight again.I realised today that food so central to my life,when I thought about my healthy lunch I actually felt sad! Food is my comfort my joy my retreat.I know it comes from a chaotic childhood but that doesn't seem to help.I am fit ,,but I seen to have put on weight running,another excuse to eat more.

Yes. Alcohol.

Quit drinking at Christmas and the lost 4 stone on SW in 5 months, now loosely doing 5:2 - eating whatever the hell I want 5 days and 2 day 500 calls and my weight has completely equalised with almost no effort from me. My body shape has changed completely. I’m sure the 5:2 helps because my appetite isn’t as big but I credit the no alcohol completely.

Stress

I heard a therapist the other day refer to "fight, flight, freeze or feed"