We argue because of neighbour

[OohShhh]

Me and DH moved into our home about 4 years ago. Semi detached against an older gentleman. We have 2 teenagers. And a dog.
Everything was ok. Until about 2 years ago.
Countless letters through the post from the council about DD's music, our T.V too loud, I put the bin out too early. Oh and one letter was because our dog poo'd in our garden (we had a dog flap - we were at work when damn dog did the deed and didn't pick it up til next morning) I rang the council each time, desperate to sort it out as I am such a worrier and a pleaser.
Told DD no more music. We moved T.V so wasn't near him. We eventually rehomed the dog because he was relentless.
DH thinks I'm being to quiet. Thinks that we should be able to live and laugh and have music/T.V etc but I don't want to argue with neighbour. Or worse, keep getting these letters.
Now neighbour has bought some kind of fuel tank that sits on his front drive. DH saying it could explode or something could happen. It's in some kind of trailer type thing. People come a few times a week and fill up from it, and get it filled up.
He is some kind of fisherman. Goes out early about 4am (you can hear him loading his heavy chains in his truck! That's something that does get under my skin. His neighbour questioned him on why he didn't pack his van up the day before at a reasonable time, he said he could do it when he liked. About 5 meters of heavy chain being dumped into the back of a truck at 4am isn't fun listening to!)
Anyways, I'm constantly now arguing with DH because of the neighbour.
He wants to report this new fuel tank thing. Saying it's illegal/dangerous. But is it? And also, is this going to open up another hole between us. I'm happy to keep myself to myself. But yes, admittedly I want to move because of him.
I want to put my T.V up louder than 25 and let the kids have friends round or listen to the radio in the garden. But I don't like the possible outcomes if I do this.
So question - is the fuel tank illegal/dangerous and should we report it?
How quiet are you? Just in general at home?
Am I being silly?
I suffer with BPD too, so sometimes my mind can wonder away with me. Thank you

Some of you want to be ashamed, how must you be making this woman feel? Let's hope your children don't grow to be bullies like you eh??
So she rehomed her dog, I'm a dog lover and would never do that but it sounds like it was the right decision, probably influenced further by the attitude of the neighbour as well as other issues. I hardly think that the dog was badly neglected as some of you are trying to suggest, Christ people can't win can they!!
I joined this site as I though it would be good with me being a first time mum but all I seem to come across is a load of women with nowt better to do than drag others down any chance they can get. Can't get any lower than pulling someone down that is already clearly down and not in a good place. Disgusting!

Can't get any lower than pulling someone down that is already clearly down and not in a good place. Disgusting!

Right, do you always believe every little thing on the internet? No one has bullied the op, but a few like myself don’t believe that this is one completely innocent party vs a nasty bloke. It’s more than fair to question where this argument may have started, something the op has avoided and let out drips about their dog being left alone for hours on end. The op might not admit it, but reading between the lines makes the op a far less sympathetic character.

Try being here a bit longer, you’ll realise most people will write in a way that makes them seem completely right and the other side to be awful. Not always the case at all, and those call out on it usually flounce. Oh and drop the ‘women bringing others down’ nonsense. We’re all adults here, not all women, and if you’re going to ask if you’re being unreasonable about something then accept some people will think you are.

Wow! Hilarious.
You sure you're an adult and not a child?
As for try being here a bit longer, think you've been here maybe a tad too long considering you think you can speak to people like you do. You may think op is a push over but I'm not so how about you drop the attitude.
Yes she did ask if she wa seeing unreasonable but there is a way of getting your point across without coming across as a bully and a complete and utter c... but hey that's just my opinion.
Why you so concerned about trying to pull to pieces what op has put, coming to your own conclusions and jumping down her neck, along with the 'few like yourself' get a grip. Your not an investigator.
Oh and I didn't ask you for your opinion on what u put but you were happy to give it anyway. Sad act.

And as for the dog, there are millions of dogs all over the world that are badly abused and neglected. I think this is on a whole different scale in terms of neglect. Yes not fair on the dog. The op regimes it she awful, she leaves it in the garden she's awful. She can't win.
Ever heard, of you haven't anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. Or on cases like this, anything helpful and constructive would do :)

Whatdoyouknow2

Is quite ironic you ask if I’m a child, and then call me a ‘sad act’. It’s a chat forum dear, people are allowed to ask questions and disagree. It’s not for everyone though, especially AIBU. Have you heard of Netmums? I hear they’re far friendlier over there .

Oh and if you’re going to suggest someone’s a cunt, be a big girl and just say it .

OP please listen to your DH. You will look back on this time and regret it if you let him rule your home

If the boot fits hun feel free to wear it 💋
I'm quite happy on here, I don't let bullies walk all over me so I'll be just fine. shame there are others that can't handle it so well that probably get upset from such unhelpful and downright mean responses. Thanks for your concern though.

Wow. I used to lice next to someone who had parties every night, the council told me they couldn't do anything. Seriously please live your life and don't let this neighbour drain you.

Papara, I agree with you completely. Another thing about here is that you get people who say YANBU just because they think it’s the nice thing to do or they enjoy egging an OP on to do something stupid but entertaining for them.

It’s quite possible there are real people behind this post and some poor old fucker hasn’t been able to use his garden all summer and has put up with relentless noise.

Getting aggressive over this and going back to the way things were could get the OP in serious trouble and is a really childish thing to do. It won’t solve anything it won’t make anybody’s life better. Trying to build fences might.

I just find it so sad that there are so many aggressive people out there.

I'm quite happy on here

Really, because happy people don’t call people bullies and cunts because they’ve dared to not be supportive of another poster. You’re in for a bad time on AIBU if you think this thread is ‘nasty’. I suspect you’ll be one of these new posters that starts one of those ‘why is everyone here so mean’ threads in a couple of days.

In for a bad time? It's a chat forum are u serious? What's going to happen to me 😂 you really don't like people new to this who aren't push overs do you?!
No I won't start a chat like that as I don't require the back up of others to say what I feel.
What a horrid person.
I don't think the AIBU thread is nasty. Just SOME of the responses.

Really, because happy people don’t call people bullies and cunts because they’ve dared to not be supportive of another poster. to be fair though @padpara you where the one called me a "goads fucker" because you didn't agree with me.

Whatdoyouknow2, righto, you just carry on . Not quite sure what makes me a ‘horrid person’ but there we go.

MaxDArnold it wasn’t from disagreement. It’s from reading your posts on mumsnet and realising you reply to threads deliberately to be obtuse.

And you clearly only reply when you've an opportunity to be a cunt. Oooops there I said it!

The only thing I get from this is that the council wrote to you, OP.

That's really unusual, they normally don't get involved (unless you are in social housing?); is he on the council?

@Padparadscha - eh? I just give my views

Whatdoyouknow2

Fair enough, you’re entitled to your views. However a small word of warning, personal insults are a very fast way to get yourself banned on MN. So maybe refrain on call names if that sort of thing bothers you. Though judging by your attitude, I doubt it will.

You really are the MN expert aren't you. Got to go now as I have other things to do, like have a life... should try it :)

You really are the MN expert aren't you. Got to go now as I have other things to do, like have a life... should try it

Aw thank you, I think expert is a bit much but still nice of you. Have a good day, maybe I will sometime!

Well.... That turned childish rather quickly....

I think you can report his trees to either environmental health or the council. If he has cut them so they are dangerous now, a strong wind and they could take down the fence and anyone in your garden!

Its great you reported him. Keep a long and any photo evidence you can. He's a bully. Have you kept all his letters? Evidence of the bullying and harassment.

OP Suggest you talk to the council. I'm very surprised you have had so many letters but hope you've kept them. Did you reply to them at all?
What did the council say?

Your dog is clearly happier away anyway with your BiL. I'm glad you're checking responsibility for your fence but do you own or are you renting? If the latter it's the landlord's responsibility if that side belongs to him.

Usually councils react slowly to noise problems. You should return to a normal household behaviour. They will come to monitor if your NDN complains again. You could also monitor yourself your neighbour's chain rattling - it does seem odd he does it in the early hours of the morning if he could pack the night before. I would also film anyone taking stuff from the tank he's put outside. It may be illegal and may also be dangerous and environmentally disastrous if it's not bunded properly. Good luck

You re-homed your dog over this?!
I’m sorry but you’re not fit to own an animal. They are a commitment and put their trust in you yet you have abandoned that privilege to please your neighbour!
NEVER GET ANOTHER ONE!