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Original poster

To go to an interview knowing I am pregnant

102 replies

SpunBodgeSquarepants · 08/10/2018 20:40

Applied for a job on Monday, discovered I was pregnant on Wednesday. Today I was offered an interview. What do I do? Go to the interview and tell them straightaway? Wait till they offer me a job then tell them?! Help!! This job is so perfect for me, I can't believe how bad the timing is.

OP posts:
flashbac · 12/10/2018 19:05

@peasaregreat

She won't qualify for maternity pay.

XingMing · 12/10/2018 20:33

The size of the company is key to this.

When I (a one-woman but successful freelance) hired a nanny to cover me to return to work, I was assured the woman I was hiring had completed her family. So when she announced four months later that she was miraculously pg with DC2, I was fair peevish. It meant I had to find A N Other to do her job while she was off, fill in a gazillion forms and then p*ss around when maternity cover nanny turned out to see angels and original nanny couldn't return because of PND.

None of which means I wasn't pleased for nanny one to have her second child or unfeeling about the PND, but it made life horrendously complicated and was seriously irritating. I worked, solo, and the paperwork requirements added a second job to the work I was being paid for.

As the nanny's wages weren't tax deductible, I closed my company because I was working first for the nanny, then for HMRC, and I got what was left over, which was less than 30% of what I earned. Net loss to the exchequer over 20 years... substantial.

PeasAreGreat · 13/10/2018 06:09

@flashbac yes she will, you have to have 26 consecutive weeks of working before you go on leave.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/10/2018 06:30

The no intention to return does make me feel rather different. I might go for the interview and tell them up front it would be for 7 months. If there’s not much training they might be ok with that.

If it makes you feel any better, when I was pregnant I managed to negotiate a payrise and better terms with a new employer, went on maternity at 90% pay for 9 months (part of the better terms) and when DS turned up I quit the last day I legally could before I had to return and had saved up enough holiday to not go back in again. The laws are written to help us in this position so take use of them.

There’s no way I could have done this. I see Enhanced Maternity pay as a reward for work done and/or an incentive to return. You might have been entitled to do it, but it doesn’t sit right with me.

You haven’t asked for an opinion on having a baby as a single parent OP. It’s obviously your decision. I would expect it to be financially tougher on benefits now than when your 6 year old was little.

flashbac · 13/10/2018 07:12

@TestingTestingWonTooFree

That poster you quoted sounds like a CF! I agree it doesn't sit right with me either.

@peasaregreat

"have worked for your employer continuously for at least 26 weeks continuing into the 'qualifying week' - the 15th week before the expected week of childbirth."

No maternity pay if you are pregnant before you start work.

Catalicious · 13/10/2018 23:25

Plenty of people leave jobs after 6 months, for many reasons - few of us can predict the future!

I have also said I would rather have my ideal candidate for a shorter period of time than a mediocre one for years.

Don’t worry - just see what happens. After 3 months, you can tell them; no-one really has the right to know until you’ve passed the 12 week mark.

And if you are worried, tell them when offered the job; they legally can’t turn you down, but it might help your conscience!

callmeadoctor · 13/10/2018 23:45

Is the father going to be involved at all? (presumably it is very early pregnancy?)

cranberryx · 13/10/2018 23:53

If you are in employment for 15 weeks within 26 weeks before your due date, you qualify for maternity allowance. Even if you switch jobs within those 26 weeks.

It's about 120 a week for the full amount I think.

I would go to the interview and if you get the job, great! You don't need to tell your employer until close to 20 weeks anyway and you never know if something might happen.

Although, on the flip side, the earlier you tell them the more protection you have legally regarding pregnancy related illness and time off.

At the end of the day, do what's right for you and your child.

cranberryx · 13/10/2018 23:55

*Actually, ignore my weeks bollocks about maternity allowance and check out the direct gov site.

I am sleep deprived with a newborn and talking out of my arse.

ShadyLady53 · 14/10/2018 00:05

In all honesty, it’s not something I could ever do. If it’s a small company please don’t do it. I have family whose small business was brought to its knees thanks to a woman getting pregnant as soon as she got a permanent contract there. She was always taking off sick throughout her pregnancy (only actually worked about 15 days in total), wasn’t able to perform her duties properly due to the pregnancy (she was a cleaner) when she was in and when she was off sick and then on maternity leave they had to pay her sick or maternity pay and employ someone else so they were essentially paying double for about a year. The person who covered her ML was SO much better than her but they had to let her come back after maternity leave and she soon announced her intention to get pregnant again. She was terribly selfish and didn’t care that she was bringing a small family business down. She believed her “rights”’trumped everything. Even common decency.

BrushTheCatEar · 14/10/2018 00:14

I applied for a promotion within my workplace and got an interview. Thought although they’re legally not allowed to discriminate due to pregnancy I stood no chance but thought an interview would be good practice. Several people told me not to mention my pregnancy at interview but I’m no good at lying... when they asked me at the end of the interview if I had any flexible working requests I then mentioned my pregnancy. To my complete and utter shock they offered me the job... I’d say to anyone it’s worth going for it even if it’s just for ‘interview experience’ like mine was.

SandyY2K · 14/10/2018 00:51

I wouldn't personally take the job, although in law they can't discriminate.

Having seen the hassle involved in recruiting from a HR perspective and the employee going off on mat leave soon after, I wouldn't feel right about it.

Employers will smile and congratulate you ...but I hear how annoying it is directly from the hiring managers.

That applies in large organisations too... nor just small ones.

Snitzelvoncrumb · 14/10/2018 02:33

I was working as a fill in for a chain of nurseries. One place I loved needed a full time person and asked the director if I could apply for the job, I told her I was pregnant and I was hired on the spot. It does work out sometimes.

Millypad · 14/10/2018 09:51

I just have to pipe up - I interviewed for a job at 7 months pregnant and was offered it - I told them straight at application stages. They weren’t allowed to reference it at interview but once I’d been offered the job they told me that they’d train me up then find maternity cover. My new boss said she would like someone else to treat her the same way if and when she starts a family, and it made all the difference in the world. I know I’m lucky, but these things can happen if you’re honest.

BeefTomato · 14/10/2018 18:32

Oh for goodness sake, go to the interview and don't tell them! What are you supposed to do, swear off work until this tiny grain of rice qualifies for the 30 free hours at three years old? I bet the father isn't having a moral crisis about telling his employer that he'll be going on paternity leave, and worrying about how he's going to pay for childcare.

Do what's best for you and your family. And congratulations!

luckycat007 · 14/10/2018 18:48

I know its not an easy situation but my view is the same as @shadylady53. If it was a big organisation then fair enough but if the situation could destroy a small family business I wouldn't do it, personally. Each to their own though - I know its not the easiest of scenarios.

Coffeist · 14/10/2018 18:51

Go for the interview - you don't need to tell them.

I basically turned a job down as I found out being pg (I only had last interview still to do, but I could tell they really liked me and job would have been a perfect fit).. only to miscarry at 11 weeks. Massive regret (on both - job and baby).

What I'm trying to say - go for it without guilt. Anyone that's been hired can have many, many things that make them leave after a short period of time.

RoboticSealpup · 14/10/2018 19:02

why feel guilty? remember, most workplaces would replace you in a week if you dropped dead suddenly

Completely agree. Everyone in this world is looking after #1 so if your don't do the same you just get screwed over.

ZanyMobster · 14/10/2018 19:06

what are they supposed to do, have a period of mourning whilst everyone picks up the extra work? Bizarre comparison however yes I do agree that most people look after #1!

RoboticSealpup · 14/10/2018 19:13

@Zany That's hardly the point. You're replaceable.

Lougle · 14/10/2018 19:29

Employers can claim 92% of employees' SMP, etc., back, and if they qualify for small employer's exemption, that rate increases to 103% of the SMP. So they actually get more money back than they pay out. In the case of the OP, they wouldn't be paying anything out, anyway, because she'd have to claim direct from HMRC. They would have to either cover her workload in-house, which none of us know is impossible, by redistributing her workload, or by hiring someone to take on her work. Either way, the extra costs are unlikely to be any more than the cost of her wages.

GoatWithACoat · 14/10/2018 19:34

But you’d get help with childcare costs surely?

ZanyMobster · 14/10/2018 19:41

I do agree that you are, I have said that. I just think it's a crap comparison as of course they will replace you when you are not there.

Lougle is 100% correct, there is a lot of rubbish on this thread re the cost to the employer, it is not always about cost though. Only time it is an issue is when the employer pays additional maternity pay but the employee would need to be there a considerable amount of time to be entitled to that anyway so totally irrelevant. I run a small business as well as my full time job and the 103% maternity pay has enabled us to give additional hours to any member of staff available to cover the person on maternity leave, if this is a higher paid staff member then it's been fine as we've been covered financially.

If we had taken someone on already pregnant (which we have but they were honest about it) then they would leave and we would replace them, we would definitely feel hacked off if they lied but like other people have mentioned at least the work was covered for a while. If it's a role that doesn't need a massive amount of training then not a huge issue, I got the wrong end of the stick from the OPs first few poster regarding what sort of job it was TBH.

Daffodildainty · 14/10/2018 22:50

I think keeping quiet is very much the wrong thing to do.

shuthefrontdoor · 14/10/2018 22:58

Keep it quiet, you don't legally have to tell anyone until your are 25 weeks pregnant. I was very naughty and had an interview when I was about 18 weeks pregnant, got the job told my employer about 5 weeks later. They were gutted but accepted it and I'm still there now nearly 5 years on x

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