To go to an interview knowing I am pregnant

[SpunBodgeSquarepants]

Applied for a job on Monday, discovered I was pregnant on Wednesday. Today I was offered an interview. What do I do? Go to the interview and tell them straightaway? Wait till they offer me a job then tell them?! Help!! This job is so perfect for me, I can't believe how bad the timing is.

Sorry to be pessimistic but you could lose the baby. I found out I was pregnant on the first day of my new job but sadly lost the pregnancy 3 weeks later. It meant I still have a job but now if I get pregnant again I will be entitled to statuary maternity leave.

That’s if you get offered the job in the first place.

If your offered the job, take it, your going to need to build your savings !

Put yourself and your child(ren) first

We hired a lady at five months pregnant, she was great. Came back after her mat leave too. Congratulations!

I work on a very small public sector team. We recruit people with the expectation that they will be on our team for the forseable future. We simply do not have the resources to pay a newly recruited employee to go off on mat leave and to pay for a replacement. Our budget just doesn't allow it. In effect we are paying twice for one member of staff.

I totally get equality, I was once pregnant and starting a new job in the 1980s. - and that pregnant women should be entitled to apply for all jobs where they meet the criteria - but in the hard nosed environment we are in today, many businesses cannot afford to do this.

I would love to employ you. But I don't have the resources to pay for your mat leave and for the replacement we'd need to recruit to do your job. Perhaps Teresa May could advise?

Can you really not make it work financially after mat leave?

Is there no hope of getting back together with the father?
Or at least getting some support there?

Plenty of people leave within a year as the job isn’t what they thought, or circumstances change.

Yes but the OP is already saying she isn't going to come back after maternity. The examples you have given are people realizing they want to leave after they have taken the job. The people in your examples aren't planning to leave when they go to the interview are they

Bridge - OP sounds like she has made her mind up re not going back though. I don't disagree with what you have said to an extent but there can be a huge impact on businesses in these circumstances so I just guess morally I find it tricky. At the end of the day I have already said you should do what is best for you though.

Greentulips - she may be the best person for the position but no employer is expecting someone to start a new job knowing they will not return after a few months. Recruitment is hard work and costly, not something many employers take lightly.

I do think it's a hard situation though.

As others have said, size of company is important.

Mind you, I started a job for a tiny company while ttc years ago. I felt guilty when I got pregnant a month later, but I’d had no way of knowing it would happen that quickly, if at all (I wasn’t young).

I delayed telling my boss until I was six months in. He was furious; he had spent half a year training me so that I could take over from him. He sacked me immediately. Fair enough, I thought. Deserved that.

Then he sheepishly rang me back the following day and asked me to come back and work as long as I felt able to. I cheerfully went back and all was fine. I loved that job and was good at it.

I still feel a rather bad about stringing him along, but what was I supposed to do? Not work? Only look for work with large companies? - easier said than done, especially in my field which is dominated by small companies and sole traders.

At the end of the day, anything can happen. Not all pregnancies work out. Not all employees stay the course, for a variety of reasons. I didn’t end up going back after having my dc because the company lost that particular contract shortly afterwards anyway, so I would have been out of a job anyway, as it happens.

Go for the job. Good luck.

HarveyNickNacks - I thought you had to be employed for a certain time before an employer would pay maternity pay but certainly the time put into training and money it costs to recruit is an issue.

The problem isn't that you are pregnant, the issue is that you have already decided you are not going to stay long term. What kind of deal is that, particularly to a small employer that is just about making the business work? Even assuming you will be fully fit and healthy during your pregnancy it's still a raw deal.
This is why some interviewers won't employ women of a certain age, pregnant or not.
So no, you don't have to tell them you are pregnant but why go for a permanent position when u have no intention of sticking around? I would say this part even if you weren't pregnant tbh.
Congratulations on your pregnancy btw

Company isn't particularly big - 60 employees. Worrying about this is making me sick now. It's just an admin job, so I don't feel I that working after maternity leave for basically nothing (after childcare costs) would be worth it.

I don't think I'll be able to return after maternity leave, I won't be able to afford the cost of childcare

It doesn't matter. That might not be the case in over a year's time. Or even if it is, you will have had a healthy maternity pay and be well within the law.

If it makes you feel any better, when I was pregnant I managed to negotiate a payrise and better terms with a new employer, went on maternity at 90% pay for 9 months (part of the better terms) and when DS turned up I quit the last day I legally could before I had to return and had saved up enough holiday to not go back in again. The laws are written to help us in this position so take use of them.

I went for an interview at 7 weeks pregnant, was offered the job, and took it. I told my boss after my 12 week scan. It was a pregnancy after a miscarriage, and part of why I applied (I applied before I found out I was pregnant but I knew by the time I was interviewed) was for a fresh start...I hadn’t been happy in my previous job and didn’t let myself even really believe I was pregnant in case I miscarried again. In the end, I worked til 36 weeks, and went back when DD was 9 months old.

Sadly I left for good a few weeks later, unfortunately the reality of the childcare costs/driving/petrol (it was a 90 mile round trip, rurally, and I returned in winter) took its toll and we realised it wasn’t sustainable. As far as I know, the woman who covered my maternity was offered the job.

Good luck with everything!

I wouldn’t to be honest, and I say this as someone who is 9 weeks pregnant and started a job 3 weeks ago. Had I not already signed my new contract with new company I would have rescinded my notice and stayed with my old company because I feel very guilty starting a new job and then going off next year. I do intend to return to work after baby though.

In your position you won’t get stat mat pay, you won’t get maternity allowance either so you’ll have no income after you go on mat leave. So other than 7 months experience on your CV you won’t gain very much. Also you’d have to explain to any new employer why you left after 7 months.

Two tales:

I was on the interview panel (for a much smaller company than 60 people) and one of the interviewees said at the end of the interview that she was pregnant. She was also the best; so we employed her. It was also an admin position - it was one where we had a lot of turnover, in a way that was a factor in accepting that we'd have to recruit again (or use temps) in another 6 months. I think with an admin position there is not going to be "lots of training" that the company will feel was wasted. After her maternity leave she applied for and got a more senior role in the company. So, it was worth her while getting her foot in the door while pregnant. For you, that could mean a different financial scenario for childcare costs later?

2nd tale; after my first child I did freelance work; I got a new client when 7 months pregnant with my second. (Obviously there is no decision whether or not to confess a pregnancy at 7 months!). I did an excellent 1 months' work for them; after many months of maternity leave I had the good situation of paid work I could walk back into easily, without having to start again from scratch looking for clients.

Where is the father in all this?

*I would say it massively depends on the size of the company.

As a small business owner, I would feel very cheated if someone came to an interview and didn't mention it.

Add in the potential for sick leave and maternity appointments, I personally think you owe them the truth.*

But legally, you're not allowed to take any of that into account when deciding whether to offer someone a job. To do so is discrimination.

I’d check what you are entitled to. I imagine you’ll be on a 6 month probation period where they will likely find out and can get rid at the drop of a hat.
You are unlikely to be entitled to much protection either.
Are you in work at the moment? That may be a safer option.

Just wanted to share my experience, which is an exception to the norm but will hopefully give you some motivation. I have been offered my last two jobs while pregnant - they were both great positions for me and moved my career forward a lot. The second they knew I was pregnant as I couldn’t travel (I was in the last trimester) and they agreed to defer my start date until the end of my maternity leave. By law they shouldn’t take your pregnancy into the hiring decision, and a good employer will recognise that it’s worth waiting for the right person. Assuming you’re aware of your rights to maternity pay based on the length of time you’ve been in a position, which is a pain....

By the way, for the first position I mentioned I told them I was pregnant when they offered me the job. The only thing they said was “congratulations” and we started discussing the contract. What I would do though is to try to keep this all by email so there’s a paper trail if they reversed their decision after telling them.

@HarveyNickNacks - how are you effectively paying twice? SMP is claimed back from the government.

OP - Go for the job and good luck! Plenty of people take jobs knowing that they'll only be there short term; people saving to go travelling or students on a gap year, and they wouldn't necessarily tell the managers.
You never know what will happen between now and the end of your maternity leave - you could very well be better off going bsck to work or going part time. Keep all your options open.
I know someone who kept her pregnancy quiet until she'd passed the 6 month probation, and now she's been back 2 years and has risen up the ranks since she started. It can be beneficial for you and the employer.

I told them during my probation period 🤦🏽‍♀️I worked for marks and Spencer's and they said I wasn't suitable after the period ended I was gutted still think it was pregnancy related as I was bloody fantastic at my job.

@SpunBodgeSquarepants

Where's the father? Have you discussed with him childcare? If he paid half, then you can work. Or he might be able to look after the baby a couple of weekdays depending on his hours. That brings childcare costs down.

You were obviously already a single mum, do I'm struggling to see why you've planned a second child if you didn't have a current, stable partner. No one plans to live on benefits... So what was your plan with this baby?

why feel guilty? remember, most workplaces would replace you in a week if you dropped dead suddenly, so stop investing your emotions in what a corporation might think of you - do what is best for you and only you! Take the job, work until you qualify for maternity pay and wave them goodbye when you go on leave.