To go to an interview knowing I am pregnant

[SpunBodgeSquarepants]

Applied for a job on Monday, discovered I was pregnant on Wednesday. Today I was offered an interview. What do I do? Go to the interview and tell them straightaway? Wait till they offer me a job then tell them?! Help!! This job is so perfect for me, I can't believe how bad the timing is.

Go for it. I did, got the job, and after the next maternity leave I ended up running the department. Do not feel guilty.

As it is, I've decided to turn the job offer down if it should come. I can't have them training me and basically wasting their time when I'll be leaving in 7/8 months. I can't take the guilt. I'm hoping I just won't get the offer

^^

Er, what?

You can't take the guilt? You're kidding right? A lot can happen in a year!

Go for the interview, don't mention you're pregnant and if you do get offered it, accept it.

I wouldn’t. Really poor form.

^^
OK, I'll bite.

Why is it poor form?

I don’t see why you would need to leave once you have done maternity. Surely the pay is more than the cost of childcare and starting to build a career is important for you and your family.

The cost of childcare should also fall to the father of the new baby.

I would go for the job. Let them train you. Even if you don’t return you will have developed skills to help you get back into work in the future.

Go to the interview and as pp have said don't say anything until your 12 week scan or even after. I didn't tell my employer until I was 5 months there is no time limit when they have to be told. I would work out the financials though and whether you could afford to go back to work. As others have said sometimes with young children you just have to bit the bullet and work for not a lot to get your foot in the door and it is worth it as you will have a stable career hopefully by the time that they are both at school.

What do you mean, 'stepping up'? How can he help with this decision at all??
He could:
Look after the new baby while you go back to work (as he'll get lots of paternity leave if he's been in his job for a while).
Take a career break to look after the new baby longer term.
Pay jointly for childcare if you are both working.

I wouldn’t, I would feel bad for wasting everyone’s time if I planned to leave in 8 months. Depending on the industry I would be worried about my reference

I did similar and felt no guilt. Kind of helped that it was with the council rather than a small business and in my case I found out I was pregnant after the interview but before the job offer. I kind of knew I wouldn't want to go back after maternity but I wasn't 100% sure. Sometimes it's best to do what is right for your family.

realistically anyone could take the job and leave in 8 months for a plethora of reasons

This is not realistic at all. There are very few people who accept a job knowing that they are going to leave and not come back after 8 months and receiving pay for a year afterwards. To me it's a bit shit to take the job, work for around 6-8 months, then take maternity pay, then quit.

I wouldn't accept if they made an offer on the basis of burning bridges for the future.

You seem to be on that side anyway but for the sake of 7 or 8 mths experience you may be ruling out any chance of them considering you again in future when you're able to start properly. This sort of thing sticks.

Btw, congratulations!

If you were intending on returning after maternity leave it is totally different and I would definitely accept the job if offered. You have a maternity leave in a long term role is neither here nor there. Just not sure why you would go to the interview now knowing you won't take it.

I went to an interview pregnant last year, got the job, told them the following day and they were totally cool about it, I've now started it part-time and all is good! I went to interviews before hand telling them I was pregnant and was turned down numerous times so yeah. I wanted them to judge me based on if I'd fit the role, not due to the fact I was preggo...

In this particular set of circumstances, if offered, I’d actually tell them. Worst case scenario they say fuck off then - you’ve already decided to turn them down.

Best case they say we want you anyway and we’ll work around it!

Definitely do not tell them - you have as much right as anyone else to apply for the job. Would a man having a child be in this position? Obviously not. So it shouldn't make any difference to your job chances/applying for posts as a woman imo. If you tell them and then are not offered the job, you will always wonder whether the reason was the pregnancy.

If you're offered the job, bear in mind to check terms and conditions - what would you be entitled to in terms of mat pay if you start the job already pregnant and compare it to your current employer before deciding to move.

I don't think you have anything to lose taking the job, 7 months experience in a school hours term time position would be a real bonus!

They don't come up very often.

Take the job, as you aren't Clairvoyant!! Who know why change will happen in 6 months - and you'll get paid

This is not realistic at all. There are very few people who accept a job knowing that they are going to leave and not come back after 8 months and receiving pay for a year afterwards. To me it's a bit shit to take the job, work for around 6-8 months, then take maternity pay, then quit.

Maternity Allowance wouldn’t come from the employer, and unlikely to be entitled to SMP or any employer based payments. Plenty of people leave within a year as the job isn’t what they thought, or circumstances change.

I think we need more details. Is this a large employer who can absorb training someone who has no intention of sticking around or what?

It depends on the company. If you're going for a interview in a small company that only has a few staff it's unfair to start work knowing you'll be going off and possibly not returning. If it's a big national company that has lots of staff and will be able to mange your absence better then fair enough.

I would say it massively depends on the size of the company.

As a small business owner, I would feel very cheated if someone came to an interview and didn't mention it.

Add in the potential for sick leave and maternity appointments, I personally think you owe them the truth.

I'm not sure why you would attend an interview when you are hoping that they don't make an offer?

Sweet Jesus! You are presumably able for the job - why wouldn’t you go for it? Have you told them you’d like two weeks annual leave together? No- cos you are entitled to leave and are entitled to take maternity leave. I don’t get this handwringing at all ! Sorry this is such a sarky comment but honestly should all women have to “confess” in these circs? They are hopefully your employer, not priest ( you’ve done nowt wrong) not confidante. Congratulations btw

I just don't understand how it's morally ok to accept a job that you fully intend to leave and not go back to in 7 months time.

I just don't understand how it's morally ok to accept a job that you fully intend to leave and not go back to in 7 months time.

Because you're still entitled to work for those 7 months.
Because pregnancies do not always end with babies.
Because something else might happen to make it possible for the OP to return to work after having the baby.
BECAUSE SHE'S STILL A PERSON.

And she may be the best candidate for the position

Woman shouldn't have to think about these issues because men certainly don't

This has recently happened to me more or less- I accepted a job offer and found out I was pregnant whilst working my notice on previous job. So I was kinda stuck. I didn't want employer to think I'd done it on purpose and just told them a few weeks later.