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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think if I don't want to get up and dance I don't bloody have to

113 replies

Lydiaatthebarre · 08/10/2018 14:22

I hate dancing in public. I have two left feet and just feel awkward. I am, however, quite happy sitting with a drink and chatting to other friends not dancing. But invariably someone will try and drag you, against your will, onto the dance floor.

It happened again this weekend at an anniversary party. A group of us who hadn't met in ages were relaxing in the conservatory, chatting, drinking wine and having a good laugh. But after about half an hour some one comes in 'what are you all doing hiding in here. Come on out and join the party'. I was prepared to ignore them, but a couple of people jumped up guiltily and started saying 'oh I suppose we'd better go out' and the whole mood was ruined.

Why do some people not understand that if a group of adults aren't up dancing, it's because they-don't-want-to? Not because they're sitting there waiting for the life and soul of the party to come bouncing over to encourage them onto the dancefloor?

OP posts:

user9876 · 08/10/2018 22:02

Lola you clearly haven’t read any of the OP’s posts

LolaPickle · 08/10/2018 22:16

user9876 -

If it exists, please link me to where she was requested to dance ?

Maybe I missed something - wouldn't be a first time

Please can someone show me where the other guest specifically said 'come and dance..'..as I cannot see that conversation happened, I can only see the post where another guests suggested 'come join the party'...

DoJo · 09/10/2018 00:19

Usually even if a party is using different rooms, the hosts don't expect people to stay in the one side room all night. In fact, we were always taught it was rude to do that.

Taught that by whom?

LadyRochfordsHoickedGusset · 09/10/2018 09:48

I agree about the shots pressure Gunpowder. I've had quite a few that I didn't want or like the look of but gave in to the group.

Am definitely old enough to know better as well .

Original poster

Lydiaatthebarre · 09/10/2018 10:08

Lola

I don't know why you keep insisting that we weren't being asked to join in the dancing. We were. That is what this woman wanted. Once we stood up she led us into the sitting room and onto the dance floor (where I shuffled around awkwardly for a few minutes, then went to the loo and then joined the hostess and another group having a chat).

This wasn't a case of a few of us detaching from the main party and slinking off to an unused room. There were several rooms set up with candles and platters and people dispersed throughout the ground floor. We were in a large group in one of those rooms, with the door wide open into another room full of guests.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lydiaatthebarre · 09/10/2018 10:10

Oh, and we weren't in there all night. We had all been there a couple of hours at that stage and had mingled around, chatted to anyone we knew, made small talk with people we didn't know etc.

OP posts:

MartaTam · 09/10/2018 10:36

Its always rather amusing when the OP relays a story personal to them, then partakers come on and tell the OP, 'THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED!

Jigglyguff · 09/10/2018 10:50

I have found my people. This has ruined so many nights out for me. They never take no for an answer and I've had people actually trying to pull me out of the chair before. When I have to get firm with them they then call me miserable!

I can't imagine making someone do something that they clearly hate and are uncomfortable with. They are socially inept.

I've got my work Christmas do coming up and I'll be leaving straight after the dinner as I know I'll just get shit from people for the rest of the evening.

Tentomidnight · 09/10/2018 10:59

I dread the work Christmas party for this reason. Friends know how I feel, colleagues are relentless in bullying everyone onto the dance floor

Topseyt · 09/10/2018 14:27

Lola, OP was there. She knows what happened and where she was being directed to go. You don't. You weren't there.

Leave it. Unless you are psychic or something, you are projecting and second guessing at best. Why not believe the OP?

You weren't unreasonable, OP. I wouldn't even have let them drag me in there. It is very rude to interrupt a conversation with a group of people like that. Tell them so if it happens again.

FreshEyre · 09/10/2018 14:51

I'll join the 3-legged hippo Club.

I hate dancing and I hate karaoke. I particularly hate being told to do them at a social gathering.

I'm trying to see it from the hosts' point of view. I would much rather the guests that I have invited (because, presumably, I like them and want them to celebrate with me) have a good time whether that's relaxing with other friends, dancing, enjoying the music, mingling/making new friends, or propping up the bar in the kitchen.

I don't believe that the test of a good party is the ratio of dancing:not dancing.

PurpleWithRed · 09/10/2018 14:53

#dancesober #metoo

Hate it. Don’t like parties much either.

LightDrizzle · 09/10/2018 16:58

Yes, there may be people who need/welcome encouragement to get on the dance floor, - so when they are gestured to/ urged once, and refused with a smile, turn to the next person. Going on and on at someone and using exhortations like “Don’t be boring!” is just annoying. I wasn’t being boring or bored before you interrupted me and my friends thanks.
I also think some of the worst offenders are pretty short on personality themselves and think this role as the MC of FUN actually makes them life and soul. The bloke I know who everybody recognised as the vital catalyst to any party never danced. He just had a knack of drawing people together, including people, making it a laugh.

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