to think if I don't want to get up and dance I don't bloody have to

[Lydiaatthebarre]

I hate dancing in public. I have two left feet and just feel awkward. I am, however, quite happy sitting with a drink and chatting to other friends not dancing. But invariably someone will try and drag you, against your will, onto the dance floor.

It happened again this weekend at an anniversary party. A group of us who hadn't met in ages were relaxing in the conservatory, chatting, drinking wine and having a good laugh. But after about half an hour some one comes in 'what are you all doing hiding in here. Come on out and join the party'. I was prepared to ignore them, but a couple of people jumped up guiltily and started saying 'oh I suppose we'd better go out' and the whole mood was ruined.

Why do some people not understand that if a group of adults aren't up dancing, it's because they-don't-want-to? Not because they're sitting there waiting for the life and soul of the party to come bouncing over to encourage them onto the dancefloor?

The best bit of a party is when a group of like minded people who detest dancing gather in the kitchen and drink and chat.
I’m a lousy dancer,much prefer a drink and a laugh

Yanbu but I'm the opposite and love dancing even when sober. Wouldn't force anyone into it though.

The only place to be at a party is in the kitchen - that's the best place, thank you Jonah Louie. Although I will accept a conservatory at a pinch.

I enjoy a dance every now and again, but even better is catching up with family and friends you haven't seen in a while

Sometimes on my own in my living room. Hope that doesn't make me a tedious extrovert.

I have the rhythm of a three legged hippo. Oh god yes, me too.
I hate, hate, hate dancing.
Love watching those who can, but I have no coordination at all and can't make both feet / hands work in tandem.
Oh the misery of ballet and tap classes when I was small.

I hate being forced to Dance, also hate when people try to make you sing. However I have developed a back bone over recent years and will now refuse. It still makes me feel uncomfortable

This is one of the very reasons I have never really liked parties. I just hate things like dancing, have two left feet and don't want to be forced into it.

I used to be happy to sit with a drink and chat, not dance. These days I just don't go. I've become more of a home buddy as I have got older. Forced jollity on the terms of others can sod off.

Singing on the other hand, in a forced karaoke situation- worst nightmare. I'd hide in the loos.

Also hate it and it’s one of the only times I had sympathy for Theresa May.

I like chatting and drinking too. I am multi-skilled.

I was thinking about this today and how uncomfortable it made me. I understand exactly where you’re coming from.
I feel very self conscious dancing. Going to ‘discos’ (showing my age now lol) was the main way of meeting a partner when I was single. My friend and I always made our way to the middle of the floor to be less noticeable. Whether the music was fast or slow I did the same dance.
It’s all about letting yourself go. Not something I’m comfortable with.

It's a form of paranoia thinking everyone is looking at you. They're not

Of course they aren’t they are all checking their phones.

I'm not anti-dancing. I enjoy watching other (skilled) people do it and did as much clubbing in my 20s as anyone else. I just dislike the way some people think you have to do it in order to be "joining in". The OP was accused of hiding even though she was in an adjoining room with the door open, chatting sociably with 10 other people! Why is that not an acceptable thing to do at a party, especially since the music was just coming from someone's ipod rather than a hired dj?

I was guilty of doing this in my younger years. It was because I loved dancing so much that I couldn't believe anyone else might not like it, and I honestly thought they did actually want to but just wanted a bit of encouragement and reassurance. I've since realised this isn't the case, so I don't do it any more.

Except to my husband. He humours me.

I LOVE to dance but YADNBU, it's not for everyone and unless you're three sheets to the wind it's fairly awkward.

I seem to get this with taking shots. I don't want to have a Jaeger bomb or sambuca thank you they're fucking horrible and expensive, and I don't actually like being too drunk, it doesn't happen too much now as I keep good company but when I was young it drove me mad and I'd often be labelled the boring or morbid one

I'm like this. I don't drink, and I'm not comfortable dancing so I normally sit in the corner. When I was 7 I was at a girls birthday party, and they were all dancing. Her mum told me if I didn't get up and dance, I wouldn't get a party bag. She stuck to her word. She wouldn't even let me have a peice of cake, I watched everyone else eat it. Never forgotten that.

I went to dance school for seven years and used to dance in a can can type troupe at shows between main acts etc. Absolutely loved every minute and still love dancing and will get up on an empty dance floor if something comes on l like.
But singing, a very different story and on a few family visits to Ireland where they go round the kitchen or pub table and everyone has to sing a song, that's my worst nightmare and lve locked myself in the loo before now when it was getting to my turn. They have a saying there when you say you can't sing that 'anyone can talk can sing'. Not true lm afraid l cant sing a note... awful.

"You dancing?"
"You asking?"
"I'm asking!"
"Then piss off."

Why not, "No thank you"?

I don’t mind dancing but forced solo singing is my worst nightmare.

I don't know why, but I can more easily understand why you might try to push someone into dancing (not that it's right) than into singing.

I don't know, I think a party needs someone who will get people up. I think a large portion of people sitting at a party would like to dance but are waiting until they've drunk enough there is safety in numbers.

You can tell this by the way the dance floor fills quickly once the first group gets up.

Enforced fun. If you’re having a party and require your guests to dance, you need to state this in the invite so the 75% inviters can swerve said party and go to the pub, sit down, drink, chat, sit, sit, sit.

I actually avoid nights out and alcohol-fuelled social events for this exact reason. I enjoy just sitting on the sidelines and chatting and laughing, I do not enjoy feeling like the most awkward and un-natural dancer the dance floor has potentially ever seen!😂

If folk don't like more raucous parties which include dancing (although I still cannot see where OP was even asked nevertheless forced to dance - or the words 'dance' were used anywhere other than OPs head).....

.......then why not have gatherings more to your taste, at your house..with the people you clearly would rather spend time with? Rather than having the arse because the 'mood was ruined' of the mini party you were hosting within a party that was not your party ...then slag them off on social media because they were attempting to socialise with you..socialise with you at a party. OMG what absolute terrible people. (lets remember now that the word 'dance' still has not been used by anyone encouraging OP)

You don't use other peoples celebrations in order to have your own mini 'get together'. That is crass & rude.