to think if I don't want to get up and dance I don't bloody have to

[Lydiaatthebarre]

I hate dancing in public. I have two left feet and just feel awkward. I am, however, quite happy sitting with a drink and chatting to other friends not dancing. But invariably someone will try and drag you, against your will, onto the dance floor.

It happened again this weekend at an anniversary party. A group of us who hadn't met in ages were relaxing in the conservatory, chatting, drinking wine and having a good laugh. But after about half an hour some one comes in 'what are you all doing hiding in here. Come on out and join the party'. I was prepared to ignore them, but a couple of people jumped up guiltily and started saying 'oh I suppose we'd better go out' and the whole mood was ruined.

Why do some people not understand that if a group of adults aren't up dancing, it's because they-don't-want-to? Not because they're sitting there waiting for the life and soul of the party to come bouncing over to encourage them onto the dancefloor?

[ThunderInMyHeart]

I fucking hate this too.

You are not alone.

[user232398291]

I've been there.

I think some people think everyone secretly wants to dance and that they just need encouragement.

Fake a sore ankle or something!

[Leeds2]

Really annoys me when people do this.

[Flutternotsoshy]

I've found my people!

I hate dancing. I have the rythm of a three legged hippo.
I do not find it relaxing.

Leave me be!!!

[user232398291]

I have the rythm of a three legged hippo

[AnyFucker]

Yep...it's a pet hate of mine too

[WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue]

Why do some people not understand that if a group of adults aren't up dancing, it's because they-don't-want-to? Not because they're sitting there waiting for the life and soul of the party to come bouncing over to encourage them onto the dancefloor?

That’s not always the case though, OP. I won’t get up and dance on my own accord because I’m a little shy, I’d rather wait for someone to come and get me up.

The people who got up in your situation are probably the same.

[whydoistayupsolate]

I would've said 'this is the party, don't know why you think it isn't'.

I'm with you op.

[Lynne1Cat]

I'm the same. I don't usually drink at social gatherings, as I'm almost always the driver. As a consequence, I can see people getting pissed and being daft - that's fine, I don't mind not drinking really. What I bloody hate, though, is when these people try to force me into dancing. Fuck them I don't want to. IF I wanted to dance, I would. I don't feel miserable or left out of things by not making a show of myself.

[user232398291]

I watched a programme last night and discovered that John Travolta could not dance well before he made "Saturday Night Fever" and had to be taught

[DragonGoby]

Hmm. Going against the tide but I think YABabitU.

As the couple hosting the party had gone to the trouble of organising and paying for a DJ or band, I imagine they would have been a bit gutted if the dancefloor stayed empty all night while all the guests stayed tucked away in separate groups around the house. I do think that, as a guest, you have some responsibility towards your hosts to help create a fun atmosphere.

I'm not saying you need to dance all night, and if the dancefloor was already heaving then ignore this. But I do think the person who interrupted you may have been thinking of the enjoyment of their hosts, rather than trying to annoy you.

[anitagreen]

I hate this it's almost like your made to feel like you shouldn't be there because you don't want to get up and dance yanbu

[Kate223344]

I hate dancing too and many an evening was ruined in my 20s by being forced to or feeling obliged to and feeling so self-conscious and awkward. Fortunately post-kids there haven't been any opportunities to. So happy! I used to think, I dont force people to stop dancing so why do they force me to dance?

[LightDrizzle]

I’m with you. However the worst is karaoke. I’ve actually felt bullied on a couple of occasions. I once resorted to walking around the streets at a private party to avoid being harrassed and made to feel like a drag.
I have a real fear of singing out loud in public. We had obligatory singing tests at school and when I opened my mouth, nothing would come out. The teacher would get furious but I couldn’t help it, I was an otherwise compliant “good” child.
Dancing or singing, why the fuck are they so invested in my participation?
I’m fine with an invitation, just accept my smiling repeated head-shakes please.

[Squirrelblanket]

We still joke about the 'enforced dancing' at a friend's wedding a few years back. Bloody awful.

[Agentornika]

I also hate this, especially when I was over 18 stone, still not at fan now I'm at 9 stone...too self conscious

[LuvSmallDogs]

YANBU, though for me it’s karaoke/singing. I wouldn’t be the worst singer at most karaoke nights, but I just can’t get in front of people.

DH’s friends/family all love going to karaoke nights and used to try to write my name on the slips to sing as a duet/group. I told DH “if my name gets called out I’m walking out and going home”.

[Lethaldrizzle]

I don't think you have to be a good dancer in order to dance

[Lydiaatthebarre]

True Lethal but some people, me included, just feel very self conscious and uncomfortable on a dance floor. It really ruins parties and weddings for me, this obsession with getting everyone up to dance. Surely, as long as people are enjoying themselves, it shouldn't matter to others whether they're chatting together or up bopping around to 'Billie Jean'.

[RottenApple]

I hate this too! My mum once tried to guilt me into dancing at a family party by saying "all that money I spent on ballet lessons for you when you were a girl!"

I don't think pointing my toes and doing a plié followed by an arabesque to Cotton Eye Joe is really going to work. I never wanted to learn ballet anyway

[PuppyMonkey]

"I do think that, as a guest, you have some responsibility towards your hosts to help create a fun atmosphere."

[Storm4star]

I agree totally. I don't actually even like dancing! It's not about being good at it or not. I just don't like doing it. I wouldn't ever dance at home on my own either! I hate the way people treat you like you're some misery guts just because you don't want to dance. Now whenever my friends organise a night out and they pick somewhere where they can "have a good boogie" I just skip those ones.

[lovetherisingsun]

I finally gave up after having some randomer's erection rubbed against my thigh after being dragged up to dance when I didn't want to. 7 years dancesober.

[babswindsor]

YDANU OP. I love watching people dancing and enjoying themselves but I would much sooner not dance. I remember years ago when I was pregnant some stupid man at a wedding reception forcing me to dance when I really really didn't want to because I felt faint. The dork. I wouldn't let him bully me into it if I had my time again.

[sockunicorn]

i hate party dancing in public. its just not in my nature (despite having dance lessons as a child/teen).

how come nobody has come on and admitted being the "old auntie who grabs your arm and repeats "Oh come on!" over and over" when there is clearly one at every party?? Or the old lush on the dancefloor who flails her arms round, catches your eye and points at you and comes over to drag you up.