DS playing immature games!

[guildheighliner]

Just as it sounds, my DS insists on playing with a group of friends in some sort of fantasy make believe world. He dresses up as an elf and runs around making loads of noise etc.

This would be fine, but I'm starting to think it might damage DSs chances at other friendships and how he interacts with others, its all he seems to talk about and is extremely enthusiastic about it!

Should I try and curtail it?

Looked it up, live action role play. It looks such fun, I would have loved to see one of my rather staid adult sons or daughters involved in such games!

This has to be a joke, surely? I can't see that anyone would want to police their son's hobbies like this.

OP he's an adult! So he's turned out somewhat different to you - there's nothing wrong with that. In fact that's what makes the world go round! All you'll do by pointing out you think it's weird is chip his self esteem, and what's to be gained from that? Maybe he'll grow out of this interest in a year or 2, or maybe he'll still be hard at it in his 50's, but either way it has squat to do with you so leave him be.

LARPing is geeky. No way around that. I'm a geek myself and have tried it a few times, never enjoyed it quite enough to invest in any kit though.

Re. Meeting girls: Most LARP groups I've been part of are at least 25% girls, more often 35%+ It's not just for blokes. Girls really love the dressing up, acting as a character and so on.

Re. Developing himself: LARPing relies heavily on making decisions as a group under time pressures, with strong negative consequences for making poor decisions. This is incredibly valuable training for real life, certainly more useful than any number of other hobbies e.g. drinking, watching TV. You get huge amounts of practice weighing up pros and cons, being decisive, and working with others to achieve a goal.

Re. Physical health: He's running around outdoors, and actually fighting with people using swords. It's pretty damn healthy.

Re. Life skills: It can actually stimulate an interest in all kinds of practical things. Cooking on an open fire has been mentioned, but there's also sewing, repairing damaged equipment, creating new things, repurposing everyday objects to serve as props, and so on. It also encourages acting as a skill, and serves as an endless font of creativity.

Despite the rep as being incredibly sad, it's about as productive and useful a hobby as you're ever going to find.

My adult niece and nephew are both into this. They have a great time and a wonderful social life all revolved around it. One is engaged to a fellow player she met through LARPing It’s creative and community based. Why on earth would you want change it?

The whole point of being an adult is growing up and becoming the person you want to be and the best part is you can choose your hobbies and friends etc

Let him be happy, I’m 33 I build Lego and play the sims and am a Harry Potter fan and I go to once upon a time conventions. I have plenty of friends and achievements but I have my geeky side too which I love!

Hang on. OP, your username is 'guildheighliner' which screams Dune to me - you don't sound exactly un-geeky yourself!

You sound very dismissive and judgemental.

You don't understand his interests and hobbies - you think they may be "limiting" or "immature". Would you feel the same way if he was doing things that matched your interests and approvals?

Your son is an adult. Stop trying to micromanage his life. Otherwise you could look forward to the day when his future partner posts on MN about their interfering and judgemental MIL...

Why the fuck are you so overinvested?

What if he doesn't want a girlfriend? Are you going to choose one he must date?

What if he wants a boyfriend?

What if he ends up doing this full time?

He's an adult, stop micromanaging.

Really? Someone called guildheighliner is that ignorant about LARPing?

Also 'getting a proper job' is not essential: if he's good at making props for LARP then he might well be able to earn a reasonable living doing that. Also, so many jobs these days are either insecure and underpaid or essentially pointless, so the more people work out alternative income streams for themselves, the better - if you haven't got a particular career in mind, you're better off pursuing something that interests you and finding a way to earn money from it.

I hadn't noticed the username! Navigator or Steersman. Could OP be Norma Cenva? OMG! Ladies, we could be in the presence of spacing royalty. Sadly she was a tad Surrendered as a wife!

The LARP / cosplay community is actually pretty amazing, and he could make some brilliant friends there, and a girlfriend if you're so worried. Why does he need to 'fit in' all the time? His LARPing won't affect his work life, unless he's going into work in chainmail and a lance. Actually, he's socialising and deomonstrating he can form meaningful relationships which are soft skills needed in places of employment.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's odd or bad. You sound like you don't approve and are very judgemental. Support your ADULT child.

So basically he's having fun, with friends, and being creative (as well as learning valuable survival skills that he might just use to save your life when civilisation collapses, as long as you don't show him this thread). But it's not good enough for you. Because it's geeky fun. Geeky friends. Geeky creativity.

Your son is a nerd and God bless him for it. I hope my sons grow up to be nerds and find fulfilment and friends in one of the many supportive, creative nerd social scenes around. The very qualities that go along with nerdery - intelligence, creativity and drive - often make nerds extremely successful in the world of work. My DH, longtime nerd and tabletop game player, has two kids, a lovely wife if I do say so myself, and gets paid an embarrassing amount of money to manage people who manage computer networks.

You haven't actually said that he IS having troubles relating to people at work (I bet most offices of any size will have another LARPer anyway). Or that he's sad because he can't find a partner (lots of girls LARP and plenty more would love a nice nerdy BF - if I were ten years younger and single I'd ask you to give him my number). You just think people might think he's weeeeeeird. Because you think he's weird. And not good enough.

Get your head straight. Problem solved. Maybe even go to a LARP meetup yourself some time. You might discover a whole new world.

I really want to do this!

Do you think they’d accept someone who’s disabled? I’m on wheels so I don’t know how I’d do the running through forests but without some help?

Would love to do it though...

Hmmm - with the comments about the OP's username, I'm now wondering if this is a reverse! Maybe it's the son who's posted, so he can tell his mum to back off!

Either way, I still say there's nothing wrong with it, so long as the adult son is able to tell the difference between his LARP and RL, then it's a great hobby to have and one I kind of wish I'd got into as a teen/young adult. (Too late now).

Yes! There are all sorts of great personas who don't move much / at all, think abut Sherlock Holmes at 90! Wendell Urth, for older readers

And you could write your own... a character who refuses all physical exertion, has slaves to carry them etc etc.

Contact your local LARPs and see what they say!

I really want to do this!

Do you think they’d accept someone who’s disabled? I’m on wheels so I don’t know how I’d do the running through forests but without some help?*

One of my friemds is a LARPer she loves it, and she's in a wheelchair 50% of the time and on sticks all the time. I guess it depends on rhe group or the game your acting but it doesnt hold her back. She has great fun deloping the caracter and costumes

My DD does LARPing and D&D and is a total nerd. It is harmless (except for the injuries), fun, sociable and affordable. She meets lots of different sorts of people and finds them a great crew of people.
She also does "pub LARPs" which has no running around, but is usually based in a pub some where, where they act in character for the evening.

@WellThisIsShit

Yes, absolutely. If they're decent human beings they'll be bending over backwards to find loads of interesting things for you to play as - a member of royalty, an evil old crone, an adventurer wounded in a war, a sage etc etc. If a lot of your local scene takes place in woods at night (a common option) then ask if they ever rent out a room at a pub for indoor sessions and so on.

Just remember, when introducing yourself "I used to be an adventurer like you, before I took an arrow to the knee". It's a longstanding joke from a very popular roleplaying game series. They'll crack up.

Ah yes! As we all know all Gamers have no life

He's not hurting himself or anyone else, when my sons older I would much rather him have a hobby that does not include real violence or drugs. He sounds like he has a great friend group and most importantly is happy, what more would a mother ask for?

My DH did mediaeval re-enactment (SCA) when I met him (similar to LARP but more factually accurate). His view on meeting someone through it? "The odds are good, but the goods are odd".

I had some fun weekends doing it with him, although life has got in the way somewhat recently. (However we have chosen a "period appropriate" name for DD1 due in December in case we decide to get back into it in the future!)

I know quite a few LARPers, and even more tabletop RPGers. It's great fun, highly social and creative, can do wonders for your confidence - and my mate met her husband through LARP. They were both orca. It was beautiful.

Orcs, not orca!

His view on meeting someone through it? "The odds are good, but the goods are odd".

Best comment this thread. Hands down.

Although now I have LARPing Orcas in my head, dressed up, drinking from tankards and waving swords... they're on a quest solve the mystery of their disappearing pod. Spoiler alert: It's whalers.