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Original poster

DS playing immature games!

128 replies

guildheighliner · 08/10/2018 09:47

Just as it sounds, my DS insists on playing with a group of friends in some sort of fantasy make believe world. He dresses up as an elf and runs around making loads of noise etc.

This would be fine, but I'm starting to think it might damage DSs chances at other friendships and how he interacts with others, its all he seems to talk about and is extremely enthusiastic about it!

Should I try and curtail it?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 08/10/2018 10:42

easyandy101 I just meant if he's not getting a job because he's playing then it's the same as if it's X Box etc. It isn't OK to sit on the dole because you're busy being an elf. But otherwise what's the problem

LaGruffaloGrumble · 08/10/2018 10:42

Girls LARP too! You never know he might actually end up meeting someone who enjoys taking part in the same hobbies he does as opposed to being mean and judgey about them.

It's not like he's got a cocaine and internet porn habit is it?!

Deadbudgie · 08/10/2018 10:43

Eh but surely he is socialising with people through this. Isn’t that what people do spend time with people they share something with?

LivingDeadGirlUK · 08/10/2018 10:43

I'm totally with you on this. Going outside and talking to people face to face is fucking strange and can't be good for anyone. Send me a PM and I can give you details of my World of Warcraft guild to pass on. At least then he can spend all day sitting around in his underpants staring at a screen. Much more civalised!

NerrSnerr · 08/10/2018 10:43

Should I try and curtail it?
How would you even do this? He's a grown man. Let him do what he wants.

There are loads of over invested mums to grown men on here at the moment.

frami · 08/10/2018 10:45

My DS (28) is in a highly stressful job in the emergency services. On his very days off that allow it he does takes part in LARP. Has done so since he was at school. It's a great means of switching off. He is perfectly "normal" and meets people of both sexes who share this hobby. It is also very creative and useful as he makes items for the hobby, learning woodwork, sewing etc as a result.

BTW it makes Christmas and birthday presents easy. I just ask for a list of bits and pieces that he would like and log on to Ebay.!

Stompythedinosaur · 08/10/2018 10:46

I met several partners and many, many friends through larp, it is quite a sociable (albeit niche) activity.

It isn't hurting anyone and he obviously enjoys it. I don't see why you are worried?

Narya · 08/10/2018 10:46

I can't see it giving him a problem fitting in with work colleagues, loads of my colleagues have hobbies outside work that aren't my cup of tea but they're still great people.

As for meeting girls, he's more likely to meet someone he is compatible with doing something he enjoys rather than doing something he doesn't enjoy, surely?

OP you are overthinking and also coming across a bit judgy tbh.

Stefoscope · 08/10/2018 10:48

It's not much different to having amateur dramatics as your hobby imo. Roleplaying in general is seeing a huge revival at the moment, so chances are he won't have trouble making friends with people who are intrigued by his hobby even if it's not something they do themselves. It encompasses a broad skill set, game play, story telling, arts and crafts, acting. Plenty of cross over with other hobbies. I don't find the story telling side of LARPing interesting but will discuss how costumes, weaponery are made as I'm into crafts.

oohyoudevilyou · 08/10/2018 10:48

Putting on a luridly coloured nylon shirt and heading to a kind of amphitheatre to watch 22 men run around chasing a spherical object is a bit weird too. Plus singing songs and shouting out incomprehensible things to the people in the middle...may even result in adult male spectators weeping - yes, weeping, if the people wearing the different colour shirts win the game.

I know your DS's hobby is less mainstream, OP, but how is it any stranger than other more popular ones?

NotACleverName · 08/10/2018 10:49

I'm not sure how you'd go about curtailing your adult son's hobby, but good luck to you, I guess, if you decide to try.

iklboo · 08/10/2018 10:50

Perhaps you should sit him down with a list of hobbies you deem to be suitable and insist he chooses one. Hmm

What is it with overly invested mothers just recently?

RubiksQueen · 08/10/2018 10:50

It's no worse than amdram (I can say that as I did it for years!).

He might meet someone while doing it. Wouldn't it be lovely for him to find someone who shares his interests?

ReanimatedSGB · 08/10/2018 10:50

FFS. Leave him alone. People with 'alternative' hobbies such as LARP, re-enactment, folk dancing or whatever are generally not just happier, but better people than the sort of ignorant twats who try to stop them enjoying themselves.

Dychmygol · 08/10/2018 10:51

I have friends who LARP, friends who Cosplay and a couple of D&D friends, their company is infinitely more interesting than anyone I work with or have to socialise with for the sake of my children.

Hanging around with vapid sheep who have no life beyond an artificial one that's based on the approval of others is utterly boring.

I think your son has got it right. He's pursuing something he enjoys, in the company of people he likes and is harming absolutely no one. That's priceless.

ChairmanMiaow123 · 08/10/2018 10:53

@RB68 - are you talking about my husband there, cos if you are, your comment is laughable, quite frankly.

ShalomJackie · 08/10/2018 10:54

My frienmd a girl LARPer met her lovely boyfriend also a LARper while LARPing. It's great they have a shared interest. In the real world he is an electrician and she is a Research scientist!

juneau · 08/10/2018 10:54

I can see where you're coming from OP, but I'd leave well alone. He's got an interest that gets him out of the house and doing something harmless with a group of like-minded friends, something that many a parent of a socially-isolated DC would be delighted about. So you your DS is a bit of a nerd with a niche hobby - so are lots of people - but if he's HAPPY and having fun I would honestly bite your tongue. We don't get to choose the people our DC become, but don't fall out about this with him. He is who he is and he's not harming anyone.

Willow2017 · 08/10/2018 10:56

Sounds like a fab way to spend your leisure time.
Wish we had something like that round here. Kids and i would have a ball.😀 used to love RPG.

He is doing something that He likes so nobody else's business. There are loads of people who do this and still manage to function in real life. There are loads of skills involved too which will be useful in other areas of life never mind the fact that an active imagination is a wonderful thing.

I would rather my kids did this being outside, learning skills, meeting people than be slavishly following the crowd who spend every weekend in a pub geting pissed or 'managing' football teams on games consoles etc.

Leave him be op he is an adult he doesnt need your permission to spend his time doing something he loves just because you don't.

Micke · 08/10/2018 10:58

I understand its a game and in moderation is fine, but it is impacting on him meeting people not into his hobby, meeting girls, even fitting in with colleagues when he gets a full time job.

It's no worse than any other hobby though - cycling or MMA or football can easily take up just as much time.

I did larping (well, I preferred freeforms - less foam swords, and more interactive theatre) when I was younger - I had boyfriends who were larpers (settled down with a bloke I met at work) - I still have friends who play AD&D, and I'm part of a game that's been going over 20 years myself!

RoseGoldEagle · 08/10/2018 10:58

So what would your preference for him be OP? That he plays football and goes to the pub with the lads, would that seem more normal? I hate when people think certain hobbies are weird or nerdy- normally the people doing the eye rolling are the ones missing out while the supposedly nerdy ones have all the fun! (I am not someone who is into this kind of thing btw, but can see no issue with it). One of my favourite quotes is: ‘A lot of people will do anything for their kids, except let them be themselves.’ your son obviously enjoys this and isn’t harming anyone, so stop judging him!

Juells · 08/10/2018 11:00

Is it bad that I've watched 30 seconds of a video about larping and now want to be a larper? Confused

SleepingStandingUp · 08/10/2018 11:00

@guildheighliner is it that yiur friends talk about how their son plays concert violin in his spare time whilst supporting his brain surgeon wife who paints masterpieces in her spare time around the triplets, whilst the other ones daughter is currently in Cambodia solving poverty in addition to her job in the local hospital there and all you can add is that your DS likes to be an elf?

He sounds like a decent young man who has hobbies and friends. Isn't that great??

Cheeeeislifenow · 08/10/2018 11:01

Never heard of LARP in.but God it sounds. Like fun!! Op seriously? He is 23, doing nothing illegq and has a hobby...chill out!

Chouetted · 08/10/2018 11:02

@LivingDeadGirl I totally agree. LARPers would weep at the sight of my epic mount collection. Foam swords are just a poor substitute!