I've a friend who is a scientist roughly in the field of human biology/anthropology. She is very happily married to her 2nd husband. 1st marriage ended relatively amicably, they'd simply grown apart, they had 2 DC and co-parented very effectively with him living literally 2 doors away with his 2nd wife and while the DC usually slept at her home they went round to their fathers whenever they wanted and were always welcome. The wife and ex-wife got along well too as did husband and ex-husband.
She theorises the idea of a partner for life is unrealistic, that it's important to remember that this ideology developed when people quite frankly didn't live as long! So it wasn't actually unusual for the ones that lived a bit longer to have 2 or more spouses in a lifetime. Especially women (who generally live longer) who were dependent financially on men especially if they were mothers before there were any welfare payments in any countries as they needed to feed their kids! So they'd often re-marry for pragmatic reasons.
She says who we are at 20 is very different to who we are at 30, 40, 50... We have different needs and our perspectives and desires change.
But she also says relationships as a default are unlikely to die out purely due to evolutionary biology - the need to procreate. If relationships died out altogether so would the human race!
As a 46 yr old who has to all intents and purposes been single for 15 years (although I have dated at points when I've felt like it) and so a sort of objective observer of relationships, I think people often stay in a relationship when it's past its best - and that's not necessarily because anyone has done anything wrong.
See it on here sometimes (not as often as the ones where someone HAS done something wrong admittedly) where someone is saying something like "my spouse is not an awful person, I'm just dissatisfied/fed up" and rightly imo mners will generally say "you don't need a blame reason to leave, being unhappy/unfulfilled is enough" sometimes what the poster is experiencing is the natural waxing/waning of human relationships (which happens in friendships too - sometimes you're going through a time which certain friends 'get' and other times it's other friends that 'get' what life stage you're at) and ending the relationship isn't necessarily the right thing to do for either of you.
But sometimes it's just run its course.
I've been fine being single and totally believe it's possible to be just as happy single as in a relationship, of my friends there's a real mix of couples who married young and are still together, some are on their 2nd (or 3rd) ltr/marriage, some have had a ltr in the past but are now happily single and a few have never really been interested in having a ltr. They all have different reasons for what they've chosen.
I'm also bisexual and op I can assure you it is no easier for people in same sex relationships! For starters there's a much smaller pool of potential partners! Then there's just the fact that just because someone is bisexual or gay doesn't make them easier to be in a relationship with just cos you may be the same sex! People's personalities and beliefs still vary greatly and that of course causes tension and disagreement.
She and I agree that one thing is problematic though - the idea these days that your partner/spouse needs to fulfil all your needs! No one person can be all that for another, she has advised her children likewise (she's one son one daughter), that it's unfair to depend entirely on your partner/spouse emotionally. They are both happily married with DC. Still on 1st marriage for both, although her daughter is wife 2 to her husband. Again wife 2 and ex wife get on well, child from 1st marriage very well co-parented.
I think some people expect too much from a romantic relationship and then blame their partner when they don't get ALL their needs met by that person - my ex was like this and still is, he and wife 2 are miserable - I have it on good authority. She was ow, believed all his guff about how awful I was, now she's the one being regularly cheated on because he feels hard done by that she doesn't meet all his needs. I only had one child with him and he couldn't cope with that (hated that he was no longer my no1) they have 5 so he's got diddlies chance really! So he cheats!
Conseula I'm with Monica geller, I don't believe in soul mates. I believe in physical attraction, I believe in love developing as a result of a combination of physical attraction and compatibility on beliefs on the things that matter to you and if you also work at your relationship, act considerately toward your partner and compromise where necessary. I don't believe in star crossed, one person for one person nonsense. What if your soul mate were Australian and neither of you likely to ever have the wherewithal to go to the other side of the world?!
Also - regarding our parents/grandparents generation staying married for life - that wasn't necessarily because they were happy together! My parents have been married 49 years, to those who are mere acquaintances it MAY appear to be a happy marriage, but to anyone who knows them even slightly well knows my father is/was a violent, abusive alcoholic and my mother felt she couldn't leave as they were raised Catholic and taught you don't divorce - no matter what! It was shameful especially for the woman (yes even if he's a bastard!). Mum is now his carer and he still treats her like shit! Her parents marriage was a happy one as far as I know, certainly no obvious abuse. His parents - same, father violent alcoholic, again she wouldn't have considered leaving was even an option. She also was one of the worst for pressuring mum to stay with dad.
Speaking to friends their parents/grandparents marriages were a mix of happy/unhappy but again, certainly for the grandparents generation divorce simply wasn't considered an acceptable option.
I think people of younger generations forget the pressure there was then to stay married. Not just cultural/emotional but financial! Single mums back then wouldn't have had any money coming in if they didn't work and there weren't childminders etc and contrary to the rose tinted view of the past they couldn't necessarily rely on their mother or sisters providing childcare because certainly for the working class they were working too!
"A world without love is not worth having
I tend to agree, but love doesn’t have to only be romantic love." Same, I have my dd, relatives, dear friends that I love very much and they love me. I don't need a relationship to be fulfilled.
Sweetsummerchild - I have difficulties in life, mainly health related. They'd still be there if I were in a relationship. So aside from that I'd say I am happy.
I too think people rush into ltr. See it on here all the time! People move in together less than a year into meeting and then wonder why it went wrong! When science shows that in the first year the rose tinted specs are practically grafted on!
The successful relationships I know of they were together at least 2 years before marrying/moving in together, both parties are easy going generally, good at honesty and compromise, good listeners and kind people.