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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

that school won’t cut me any slack for double drop offs?

539 replies

Polkadotdash · 05/10/2018 15:48

We moved house in the summer and we’ve ended up with three kids at two different primary schools. I accept that it is what it is and we have to just fit in where there are places. However, after a month of nearly killing myself to drop kids off at both schools, two miles apart who start at exactly the same time, I’ve asked both schools if they can help to take the pressure off me by accepting one child five mins early and maybe dropping the late mark drama for the other children. Neither school will budge. One school has a breakfast club which they’ve suggested I use for £5 a day. £25 per week, nearly £1000 per school year for five mins care (no food required). I can’t afford this.
It’s all been capped off today by one parent (who I don’t know) shouting something at me about the importance of not being late when I was trying to make my four year old run up the hill to school. I can’t put up with this for the next 5 years. What should I do? Should the school be more caring?

OP posts:
PorkFlute · 07/10/2018 15:08

I’m not sure whether or not schools should be classed as childcare is particularly relevant to the ops predicament?
She said she was considering keeping her youngest home until the term after they are 5 so I assume from that she doesn’t need her children at school for childcare reasons.

MaisyPops · 07/10/2018 15:11

Missillusioned
I don't think they'd accept it because they're the DWP and a law unto themselves.

PorkFlute
It came up because people were suggesting school staff should supervise children because it's just 5 minutes.
Care around school is provided by wrap around childcare. Teachers and school staff shouldn't be routinely minding children to make it easier for individuals.

CecilyP · 07/10/2018 15:15

If it's a split site primary then other parents will be in the same situation and I'm guessing those parents aren't all making one child late every day.

No, it isn't a split site school (I know it was quite hard to work out from the OP). The YR and Y6 are at an infant and junior school on the same site. The Y3 in a different school ( junior school only ) 2 miles away. The OP only has the problem because she is new to the area and the nearest schools were oversubscribed. There may be another feeder school for Y3's school but presumably OP was not offered that.

MaisyPops · 07/10/2018 15:23

CecilyP
Then it's a case of use wrap around in the short term and put the y3 child on the waitlist for the school with the others.
Not ideal, but life isn't ideal.
I can't see expecting free morning childcare as the solution.

PorkFlute · 07/10/2018 15:28

I agree with that. Parents can expect their children to be looked after as well as educated within the school day but not outside of it - even for 5-10mins. Imagine how many parents would want to drop children 5-10 mins early if the school allowed it!
It is annoying to have to pay for childcare when you don’t use it/need it for the full session. Like I said I was up until recently paying for after school club until 6 o’clock when my kids were only ever there until 3:45 at the latest. Many other parents were in the same boat. I wouldn’t have dreamt of asking if their teachers could just hold onto them for 10 mins as if they have nothing better to do. It’s the choice I made in the job I was doing and tbh I was quite grateful I was working in a job that didn’t necessitate them being in childcare until 6 every day!
The op has chosen to send her children to different schools and if she can’t afford the childcare required to do it it wasn’t a viable choice. She’s assumed that one school would be ok with daily lateness when I can’t imagine any school would be.

PhilomenaButterfly · 07/10/2018 15:39

Something that used to happen to a friend of mine on a regular basis, her reception age child would be let out of school late, her older child would be sent to after school club and she'd be billed for it. This was in the same school. You had to go inside to pick up reception children.

dorisdog · 07/10/2018 15:41

Blimey, what a nightmare situation, OP. Must so stressful. If it was me, I think I'd write an official letter, and then accept the late marks.

Italiangreyhound · 07/10/2018 20:34

So sad that the schools can't be flexible even for 5 minutes buy if you cannot afford 5 a day then I think I would just go back to the schools. They might also change if they thought they would lose one of two pupils.

Italiangreyhound · 07/10/2018 20:34

£5 a day I mean.

Lalala2018 · 07/10/2018 22:17

Stuff that home educate

busybarbara · 07/10/2018 22:41

At my children's school they let them in at 9am for a 9.10am register (children are encouraged to use that time to revise if they're there). This whole mess is basically caused by schools that don't appreciate real life.

Snitzelvoncrumb · 07/10/2018 23:35

If it's just a late mark, and nothing actually happens just keep going as you are. Make sure the school understands why, and maybe alternate who is late. If the child is punished I be making a complaint, follow the policy start with the teacher, principal, education department, local MP then media. I'm not sure if it was your school or another that keeps the kids in at lunch if they are late, can you take them to the park for their lunch break?

MidniteScribbler · 08/10/2018 00:58

This whole mess is basically caused by schools that don't appreciate real life.

Schools are full of people who also have a real life. Many of us are getting our kids out of bed and off to their own school/care before heading to work. Teachers aren't put in the freezer overnight and on holidays.

Snitzelvoncrumb · 08/10/2018 01:36

Teachers have to follow the schools policy, most teachers are amazing and work with kids and families and genuinely want the best for the kids they teach. Unfortunately not all are like that, so unless the teacher is just a power mad jerk it's best to work with them. Explain the situation and try not to be disruptive, I'm sure they understand the op is in an impossible situation.

shearwater · 08/10/2018 04:02

We must be very lucky. I find it incredible that there are schools where 7 and 10 year olds cannot be dropped off ten minutes early before the bell goes and they need to go to breakfast club. No wonder the OP is in an impossible situation with such rigidity. I would work with the schools, see if there are any parents who can help out and keep pressure up on the local authority.

PhilomenaButterfly · 08/10/2018 04:27

They can be dropped off 10 minutes early.

whoareyou123 · 08/10/2018 06:37

At my children's school they let them in at 9am for a 9.10am register (children are encouraged to use that time to revise if they're there). This whole mess is basically caused by schools that don't appreciate real life.*

No. This particular mess was caused by the OP not accepting the offer of places for her 3 children at the same school because it was too far away and thinking she could just sneak one of her children in late every day. I know I couldn't sneak DS in after the 10 minute window we have and suspect that would be the case at most schools.

MaisyPops · 08/10/2018 07:22

At my children's school they let them in at 9am for a 9.10am register
And at the OP's schools they can be in 10 minutes early too, 8:40 for an 8:50 register.
Schools have start times. There is a window where they'll accept children before the start time. Any more than that and wrap around is required.

If anything 9-9:10 is probably a bigger issue for working parents.

PaulDacrreRimsGeese · 08/10/2018 07:38

The idea that most people actually have a choice to home educate is not one that is grounded in reality.

Tessabelle1 · 08/10/2018 08:03

I don't understand why people assume a childminder would be cheaper? Mine is £4.50 an hour and that's a good rate, most will charge more so the breakfast club is probably cheaper! I think your only option is to drop the eldest early and let them go into school alone then you can get the others there on time. The schools are definitely not being unreasonable, a child who is constantly late is very disruptive to the rest of the class

Oliversmumsarmy · 08/10/2018 08:21

Tessabelle1 How would that work. Drop eldest at school A then go to school B to drop year 3 child at school B then back to school A to drop. youngest. Or drop eldest. Wait to drop youngest then go to year 3's school.

Either way someone would be always late

Neither would leaving the 10 year old in charge of the 4 year old on the streets outside the school gates.

I am sure i read about a woman getting a police caution when she left her 3 year old with her 14 year old for 30 minutes so I doubt the authorities would look kindly on a 4 year old being looked after by a 10 year old.

SnuggyBuggy · 08/10/2018 08:25

In my day you just played in the playground if you were dropped off a little early

whoareyou123 · 08/10/2018 08:30

In my day you just played in the playground if you were dropped off a little early

The OP had said they can't get into the playground until 10 minutes before the bell rings. I'm a bit amazed at this as it would be total mayhem at DS's (admittedly 3 form entry) school if we had to wait on the street.

SnuggyBuggy · 08/10/2018 08:32

I've seen schools with groups waiting in the streets. Since when did schools become like Fort Knox?

ferrier · 08/10/2018 08:33

Presumably as a sahp the op can't afford the not inconsiderable sum of £25 a week. I do hate the reasoning that some schools have that because they have provided a childcare solution then everyone should use it regardless of whether or not it actually works for them or their dc.

In your situation op I'd just choose which dc to have going in late every day and leave the schools and the local authority to sort out the problem. It's not your fault if they can't allocate you all to one school.

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