AIBU or is my neighbour?

[AuntBeastie]

I used to get parcels delivered to my work but they now don’t allow this so I get them delivered to my house. I’m never in, so I always specify that the ‘safe place’ where they should be left is in my back garden, where there is a box with a lid.

Despite this, a few times recently parcels have been left with my neighbours, and more often than not with one man in particular. I always go round to collect them as soon as I get home (usually about 6.30). A couple of weeks ago he mentioned that he was getting annoyed about the number of parcels. I apologised, explained that I always specified they should be left in the garden, and told him he could refuse to take them in. He grumbled, but basically all fine.

But last night another parcel was left with him and I went to pick it up. Neighbour absolutely lost his rag. He said I was taking advantage and that he wasn’t going to give me my parcel. He eventually did give it to me, but he was very angry. I tried to explain that I always specify parcels are to be left in my garden and not with neighbours, but he wouldn’t accept this.

So... who is BU? I don’t know what I can do to stop delivery people disegarding my instructions (except complain which I will now do, but will this actually change anything?). I really don’t want to annoy my neighbour any more, but I also don’t understand why he doesn’t refuse to take in parcels when it annoys him so much?

Any tips on how to manage this before any possibility of good neighbourliness is destroyed forever?

Honestly, look into pickup points, many are convenience type stores that are open late and early or even 24 hour lockers. My boring medium sized town has several convenience stores open roughly 7-11, and Amazon lockers in the town centre that are accessible 24h.

Note on door saying,

‘Leave parcel in safe place as per order. DO NOT DELIVER TO NEIGHBOUR’.

Also put the same message on each order & specify safe place every time. Realise you try to get this across. Bad service from company.

Neighbour IBU. Never bothers me to take in parcels for neighbours.

If you're in a city I'd be willing to bet you have a pickup point near either your work or home, just stop on the way to or from work, show your e-mail on your phone or input a PIN, takes 2 minutes.

If you're in a city I'd be willing to bet you have a pickup point near either your work or home, just stop on the way to or from work, show your e-mail on your phone or input a PIN, takes 2 minutes

Exactly. I’m semi-rural and we have a click and collect point less than 5 mins away.

Neighbour IBU. Never bothers me to take in parcels for neighbours

Great. But people shouldn’t have to if it’s disruptive.

I don't mind taking in the occassional parcel for my neighbours but when it becomes a more regular occurence for the same people it becomes annoying, no matter how nice and apologetic they are.

I have no problems in rejecting the parcels but delivery men are quite insistent and I understand when people feel they can't say no.

I had one that after I accepted a parcel for a neigbour, returned a few minutes later with a load more for other houses. And one who after I said I would take in the parcel, went to his van and took out a giant box that would have filled my whole hallway. Both got send on their way.

It is probably not just the taking in the parcel for you. Yes, he can refuse, but they are still knocking and he needs to answer the door in order to refuse. Sometimes if the delivery person is a regular and knows your neighbour is usually in they automatically will go to your neighbour. If you order items regularly I can see why he gets cross. If you are ordering so much and they are ignoring your safe place then you either need to make sure they are only delivered when you are home or do click and collect no matter how inconvenient.

And people say that those of us who refuse to answer the door except to pre-arranged visitors are weird.

Sometimes if the delivery person is a regular and knows your neighbour is usually in they automatically will go to your neighbour

Well if he's regularly told no he'll remember won't he? The regular delivery drivers are much easier to deal with surely?

I live in a small close and we all accept parcels for each other but some people get arsey - even though we accept parcels for them on a regular basis. One such example was last Christmas we ordered some fresh food items with a sign on the door and clear delivery instructions to leave them in a lockbox in a perfectly accessible place. We were in and out all day but being Christmas period this was the only option for delivery. Said grouchy neighbour accepted delivery then went on holiday for two weeks meaning not only could we not get our Christmas food items but their hallway was stinking up when they got back off holiday they got extremely angry but it was clearly marked fresh food items on the box and they even admitted they could see the sign on our door but still accepted it knowing they were leaving for holiday in a few hours

Anyway! I understand people's frustration but 5 parcels in 6 months is not excessive and your neighbour can simply refuse them if that much of an inconvenience.

The regular delivery drivers are much easier to deal with surely?

The ones who can read instructions are even easier

Yes @JacquesHammer maybe the neighbour should tell them to do that?

I had an elderly neighbour who I didn’t want bothered with parcels so I put a sign on my front door saying “Please DO NOT leave parcels at No.31” ... this worked for me.

Charlie97

Ironically clear from other threads you don’t read either.

But yes, the OP should speak to the place she ordered from and the courier company and request they adhere to her instructions

@JacquesHammer I'm clueless about not reading? Did you read the answer to your statement that the issue could be cut by 50% easily for the neighbour?

Some of the Amazon click & collect arrangements are well out of the city centres and in quite local small convenience stores which are open all hours.

You are limited to online vendors who have this kind of network (mainly Amazon). But try eBay because they offer a click & collect service for all vendors and you might find craft stuff there.

Failing that...try chatting up another neighbour who might be more willing. Perhaps a retired person might be glad of the human contact of a delivery person knocking.

I know not everyone can access their phone at work, or have smartphones, but if you can, how about getting a Ring Doorbell (or similar with remote access via a phone). You can answer remotely from your phone and tell the courier to leave it on your safe place.
DH’s colleague answers his door via his phone to direct couriers to his lock box after couriers failed to read instructions and kept bothering his disabled neighbour.
Disclaimer: I appreciate that this might be a suitable solution for only a small percentage of workers.