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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If I sent you this message, what would you do?

303 replies

QuestionableMouse · 04/10/2018 15:25

Message was "help migraine pills drink help please"

I sent it to my sister after waking up with the worst migraine I've had for a while. I never ask for help, ever. I sent it at 12:20. She's still out shopping and I've had no help from her or my parents. Just managed to make it downstairs to get a drink.

I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself and quite fragile so I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable in feeling a bit annoyed and upset.

OP posts:
Stupomax · 04/10/2018 18:12

do pills work for anyone once it's actually got bad? if i don't catch mine within the first 10 mins of just noticing my eyes feeling a bit funny, ive missed my chance and get the whole b thing. blindness/vomming/pain the lot and just have to ride it out

Have you tried Rizatriptan? They're melts so you put them on your tongue and they absorb that way, which means they have a chance of working even if you vom. They're about the only thing that works for me.

(Apologies if you've already tried them - I know how annoying it is when people suggest stuff and they're one of a long list of things that you've been through that just haven't worked.)

BTW I'm in the US where we now have Aimovig. That stuff is magic.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/10/2018 18:16

"I worked my way through a shift in a bar when I had a migraine."

FFS. There's always one isn't there.
Super fucking huuuuuuman.Hmm

Orchiddingme · 04/10/2018 18:16

Migraines manifest differently in different people. I've had scorchers when I was younger, but they were much more infrequent. As an older adult, I've had chronic migraines which are defined as more than half the days in a month with a migraine- clearly you can't vomit or not speak for more than half the days in the month without being hospitalized permanently. So, they can differ, like flu, like colds, like pain. I can sometimes work as in look at a computer with a migraine if it is mild and often the day after. I can't drive as my perception is all wrong. I feel very sick and disoriented all the time and that's my main symptom, plus mild headache, also really upset (mood changes).

There's no 'standard' migraine and plenty of people could text and walk with their chronic migraine problems (and others couldn't).

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 04/10/2018 18:17

I suffer badly with migraines but would not send a message like that.

I can manage to get myself a drink and always have plenty of medication.

I don't expect others to rescue me unless really need help. Others know I only ask for help when I really need it.

If no one responds I would think they've not read the message, think I should be able to manage myself and are being too dependent on them or don't care.

PerfectPenquins · 04/10/2018 18:17

Wow you can have a migraine and be able to look at a dulled down screen. everyone is different it fucks my hearing more than my eyes for some reason and makes me very unsteady and dizzy and im on daily meds to try to prevent as much as possible.
If i got that text from any of my siblings if i wasn't at work I get them the meds they need and get my arse over there. If at work i would try and contact someone who might be free but i would text back regardless.

Notsohorriblehistory · 04/10/2018 18:20

There's no 'standard' migraine and plenty of people could text and walk with their chronic migraine problems (and others couldn't).
Indeed. A text wouldn’t be required then.

crimsonlake · 04/10/2018 18:21

As others have said, if you managed to post on this forum you could get up , find water and pills. You are being very over dramatic.

Bearbehind · 04/10/2018 18:22

that text reads like a dying woman struggling to gasp her last words having crossed a sweltering desert

That's exactly what I thought too 😂

CSIblonde · 04/10/2018 18:22

If she was downstairs fair enough but she wasn't there. If you get migraines you make sure mega strength paracetamol & migraleve etc are always to hand. It's common sense, your responsibility & not your sisters or anyone else.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 04/10/2018 18:32

The thing is, not many people would object to getting a text saying, 'I've got a really crap migraine. If you're around, I'd love a bit of help,' or words to that effect.

It's the 'dying woman struggling to gasp her last words' thing that would wind me up. Unless it was someone who I KNOW wouldn't pull that kind of shit, in which case I'd take it seriously.

Orchiddingme · 04/10/2018 18:35

Slightly off topic- but there is a shortage of Migraleve! Apparently it's a manufacturer issue. This was dire news to me as it's my go-to even though I can take paracetemol, codeine and an anti-sickness separately.

LemonysSnicket · 04/10/2018 18:36

Wow, i wouldn't come home to help you. You can text but can't force yourself to get your pills? Plus, the text was really rude and entitled

YABU

Belina · 04/10/2018 18:38

In the house I would do it if I was put unless you're dying you have to wait.
If you get migraines a lot suggest you get a mini fridge and keep it in your room

Blackoutblinds · 04/10/2018 18:45

I see others have said it now so I don’t feel so horrible.

I would honestly think oh attention seeking threat of overdose. Sorry.

Userplusnumbers · 04/10/2018 18:48

Oh dear OP, you're getting a bit of a pasting. FWIW I really do sympathise, it once took me 45 minutes to make it down the stairs to the next available stash of pills when I had a migraine, so now I get a bit obsessive about secreting them everywhere.

If my sister had text me that, and I was available (e.g. In town shopping) I'd have been straight round. Then again, I don't mind family asking for help (even when they don't say please!) - I may just be a mug though!

Hope you're feeling better soon.

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 04/10/2018 18:53

Have you posted something very similar to this recently and had a similar response posters?
(too ill to get up but well enough to post on MN)

BlackWatchBelle · 04/10/2018 18:56

If my sister sent me that message I would ring straight away and see how she was and what I could do to help. This is because I love her and want to help and she never asks for help.

I suffer migraines and stash my pills everywhere, also leave bottles of water with them as they come on anytime.

Lougle · 04/10/2018 18:57

Tricky. I'm a chronic migraineur, so I have to function during migraines. I have no choice, I wouldn't live life if I didn't. However, some days are worse than others, and there are plenty of days when DH has to wrap me up with ice packs wrapped in tea-towels, tied to my head with a pair of tights, and an eye mask to block out the light, because my cocktail of preventatives hasn't worked, and the triptans, naproxen and prochlorperazine hasn't touched the sides once the migraine hit. Then it's just a case of riding it out.

However I've never sent a text as described in the OP. Because if my migraine is bad enough that I'm desperate, the thought of moving is just hideous. I've spent many an hour contemplating going downstairs to get painkillers when I've woken in the middle of the night with a migraine. Almost always without fail, the thought of turning over and lifting my head off the pillow is too painful. At the same time, the knowledge that it won't go without the painkillers is unbearably awful!

Purpleartichoke · 04/10/2018 19:02

I have sent a similarly garbled message to my spouse. If he is home, he comes to me. when he is at work, he does his best to get home. I can barely manage to type it on the screen, but it is much easier than trying to make a phone call.

I also learned to always keep my meds and a bottle of water next to my bed (plus a basin). Still, sometimes I need more than that though o need him to take over kid duty.

I’ve never sent such a message to someone who wasn’t my partner. I would hope they would do their best to come help me though.

Purpleartichoke · 04/10/2018 19:07

As for the text being terse, here is the best description I ever heard of migraines. It really captures the pain.

You have a migraine and the room catches fire. You have to seriously contemplate if it is worth saving your own life.

That is what a real migraine is like. Not the headaches people get and call migraines. That text really is that hard to send.

hazell42 · 04/10/2018 19:07

Get a grip. I know migraines are awful but seriously. Did you really expect your sister to drop whatever she was doing to rush home and get you a glass of water?
How precious are you.

NellMangel · 04/10/2018 19:16

I'd get in touch to check you were ok.

Stupomax · 04/10/2018 19:18

I totally understand having a migraine bad enough to send the text.

I don't understand then being well enough to post on Mumsnet a few hours later.

SassitudeandSparkle · 04/10/2018 19:25

Triptans are fabulous for migraines for me, they either kill it off or at least knock it down to a level paracetamol can make a difference to.

Rarely have I had to take more than one, although I have occasionally.

Gabilan · 04/10/2018 19:25

If I were in the house or somewhere I could get to in about 10-15 minutes I'd go and check on the person unless there was an important reason to be in work or the sender had form for being a drama queen. Otherwise I'd text back for clarification.

I get migraines, as do some family members. Mine make me very sensitive to sound and although I know everyone is different, I'd be wary of phoning someone with a migraine.

Sometimes I don't check my phone for a while. Also, I live in a rural area with poor signal so it's possible I wouldn't see it for a while. I would probably act on the text in some form, but how would depend on the person who sent it.