50/50 custody who gets benefits?

[Unicornsandrainbows12]

I broke up with my husband in January and the biggest mistake I made was not to take my son when I moved out. I thought I was doing the right thing as I didn’t want disrupt his routine until I was set up in a new house and I was still seeing him every day. Since then I have had to battle to get access to him and ended up going through the court and we now have time with him 50/50. I also thought that in the beginning that I was doing the right thing by transferring the child benefit to him as he didn’t have a job at the time and would have struggled to look after my son. Now since things have been agreed with custody I am now really struggling for money as I’m not recieving any kind of benefit for my son and he is sitting pretty claiming it all. I know I can make a claim for it too and then they will make the decision on which parent is to get it but what can I do to help sway it to me?

Are you sure the CO doesn't name resident parent?

When we had (pretty much) 50/50 the CO still said the child "lives with resident Mother". I think a child has one main address and then contact with the other. Maybe there are cases of proper, equal share, but I doubt that would be the case for you since it was contentious.

All this worry for the sake of a tenner? Which is what CB split 50% is btw

Definitely doesn’t name a resident parent, if it did things would be so much easier!

I would call the child benefit office and ask about claiming it yourself, they will be able to tell you what qualifies a 'main' parent.

But it's not just a tenner at all. A low income family with a child is entitled to hundreds of pounds a month in child tax credits, and possibly housing benefit, working tax credit and council tax benefit, which it sounds like the exP is claiming, while the OP has nothing.

Why did you move out?

The main resident parent gets the benefits. Who that is depends on many factors :

www.gov.uk/hmrc-internal-manuals/tax-credits-technical-manual/tctm02204

£80 a month is a lot of money to me when I’m only just getting by, he is also getting the child tax credits. why should he get it when he is clearly in a lot better situation than I am. I just want what my son is entitled to for half the time, I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

4 extra hours in the 2 weeks

This is incredibly petty. That poor child.

You're not being unreasonable, but based on a cursory reading of the online literature, the system isn't set up for cases of genuine 50/50 custody. You could contact the citizen's advice bureau?

A low income family with a child is entitled to hundreds of pounds a month in child tax credits, and possibly housing benefit, working tax credit and council tax benefit, which it sounds like the exP is claiming, while the OP has nothing

so if op gets it and ex doesn't is that then fair?

I don't know how it works, but they should each get a share of the child tax credits, and then WTC if applicable worked out for each of them individually.

I’ve seen this before on the gov website, trouble is he’s not in child care or nursery so can’t use that and he keeps changing his address to his at the doctors and dentist! I moved out the family home because he refused to. He is a very manipulative man and I couldn’t bear it any longer

all you can do is speak to the tax credits office. How do you know he is in a lot better situation than you are?

PiperPublickOccurrences This is what the court decided, what would you do in my situation?

Reading this makes me feel a bit unsettled with all the fighting and too and froing, so imagine what your child is feeling. Someone must be RP and if he’s registered to dads then it’s presumably dad. Either way I’d sort it soon cos he needs an address not mum and dad fighting over who’s address is the correct one!

Some of these posts aren't very sensible.

The state provides top up benefits to parents of low income children, because of having a child they're responsible for. You don't get eg child tax credits with no kid, and you get more housing benefit than you would if it were just you. For some low income parents they need these benefits to survive. It can make a substantial difference. Unfortunately the system doesn't recognise genuine 50/50 and there's no provision for both to put in separate claims for half.

It's not a good look to be dismissing the concerns of an evidently low income parent who has her son (more than) 50% of the time and is struggling to manage without support.

why should he get it when he is clearly in a lot better situation than I am

Maybe he's doing better because of the benefits he's received. If you got them instead he'd be in a worse position and your child would still have parents with imbalanced financial situations.

Did you pay maintenance when he had sole care?

He clearly sees himself as the primary carer, 4 hours a week notwithstanding, and it sounds like he's been sole carer where you haven't so this may be informing his position.

Did you have legal representation?

I got this from Wiki:

Shared residence orders are relatively uncommon in the UK, but should be the option of choice in cases where both parents want to be fully involved in their children's upbringing, either or both parents consent to the order, and the Court certifies that the Order is in the best interests of the child(ren). The Children Act 1989 Guidance and Regulations, Volume 1, Court Orders produced by the President of the Family Division (the leading judge of the Family Court, Dame Elizabeth Butler-Sloss) and published by the Stationery Office in 1991 discussed shared orders in paragraph 2.2(8) at page 10: -

...it is not expected that it would become a common form of order, partly because most children will still need the stability of a single home, and partly because in the cases where shared care is appropriate there is less likely to be a need for the court to make any order at all. However, a shared care order has the advantage of being more realistic in those cases where the child is to spend considerable amount of time with both parents, brings with it certain other benefits (including the right to remove the child from accommodation provided by a local authority under s.20), and removes any impression that one parent is good and responsible whereas the other parent is not.

What is the child care situation when you are working?

It's not a good look to be dismissing the concerns of an evidently low income parent who has her son (more than) 50% of the time and is struggling to manage without support

nobody is dismissing it, but equally the father is also a low income parent, who has the child 50% of the time (because realistically 4 hours extra makes shite all difference)who is also entitled to support. He has also had the child throughout, and op left so in the eyes of the state, he is probably RP. OP could dispute that of course, but none of us can say whether she would be successful or not.

I co-parent. We split exactly 50-50 and in those circumstances a change won't be made without agreement of both parties. I actually got a letter acknowledging care was split equally but as it is equal between two of us it would just remain being paid where it currently is and no change.

With you, the split isn't 50/50 if you have 4 more hours. Put a claim in, you'll get a form asking you to explain all the hours he is with you and all with your ex. Will also ask things like who buys toothpaste for your child, who buys clothes, who takes him to Dr/dentist, etc. It seems daft but fill it all out honestly and explain exactly what you do pay for. Because you have more responsibility it should move to you.

I can assure you that nothing is ever done or said in front of our son and I do agree that it should be sorted as soon as possible for his sake but he is my only child, it’s hard enough only having him half of the time. I just want half of the money so I can give him what he deserves

It's not a good look to be dismissing the concerns of an evidently low income parent who has her son (more than) 50% of the time and is struggling to manage without support.

It's not a good look to dismiss the fact that OP would be doing the equivalent to her ex.

Did you pay maintenance OP when you walked out?

Oh the changing address with the GP (and the school!) is something I've experienced. Annoying but if you are the one that generally accompanies your child to medical appointments just change it back and patiently explain to the practise manager it is not to be updated without your consent. Years down the line we are coping better, school has both addresses, I do all the dentist and hairdresser visits, GP is closer to ex's house but I still take her if needed though I prefer he would as it's his address registered there.

It can work, but if your ex is manipulative and is/was abusive you'll need patience and lots of grey rock techniques.

Some people are dismissing it actually. Meanwhile sillysally who do you think is dismissing that she'd be doing the same to her ex?