To complain about another child in Reception class?

[SunnyHotSummersAreBest]

So, DS is in a small class and has been with his classmates through Nursery.
They're now in Reception together and all the kids are lovely apart from one who's behavior drives me insane.
It's a few things that wind me up...being cheeky and disrespectful to other parents and from what I've witnessed seems disruptive in class, generally very immature in behavior compared to the others and I worry that the others are being influenced and distracted by the bad behavior.
DS (obviously I'm biased.......) is such a good little boy......(most of the time) polite, tries really hard and loves to learn new things. But....he copies this other kid all the time and really lets himself down and makes me a bit
Do you think I should mention it to the teacher or AIBU given that it's such a small class....would it be difficult for the teacher to address?
Feel I need to do something and don't want to mention it to other parents at school in case they just think I'm being a bitch.....I'm really not but it's making me sooo uptight!

Reverse?

Pretty much what everyone else has said.
If you do bring it up with the teacher, the teacher will tell you that he/she can’t comment on other children, and mark your card as ‘that’ parent moving forward.

This can’t be a real thread

I don't understand how your son can be both polite and well-behaved, but also disruptive when, as you say, following this boy.

There are two sides to every story, and we can see here that your son is obviously not the angel you're painting him as. If he was so well-behaved, he wouldn't allow himself to be led astray.

You get 15 minutes at parents evening. You might get a couple of minutes here and there at the gate. Use those wisely and talk about your child only.

As I say to my children you have your own brain and your own mind. If someone else is making bad choices - do you have to do the same?

This child isn't impacting yours, hadn't hurt him, why on earth would u need to speak to the teacher or gossip to other parents

Thanks for the responses - glad I asked as some useful things suggested.

I think I'll just mention DS being easily led and for some advice as to how we manage that together.
I only see this silly behaviour when he's with this kid and I always pick DS up on it.

Just to put the record straight, yes, all 4 year olds are immature....but there are degrees as you all know.
This kid is one of the older ones in class. They've known each other for over a year since Nursery so not like they're all new and just settling in....I wouldn't have mentioned it had that been the case.

I'm not one of 'those' mothers....never felt the need to raise anything with the school as I love it and just want DS to be happy, kind and well behaved ....like he is at home.

I absolutely hate any hint of the nonsense chitchat and gossip at the school gates - never had to witness it before this term and consequently I'm back in the car like a shot - just can't be doing with it.

What would you have done when you were a teacher? I assume that you have QTS and years of experience?

@SunnyHotSummersAreBest so the both yours and the other child's behaviour have changed?

You need to start helping your son!

You cannot control the behaviour of the other child, but you can work on teaching your own child how to control his by not copying the other child. Goodness I am surprised how you seem to know what goes on in the class room? Are you lurking at the windows at drop off and home time? If so you need to stop that.

Hate to break it to you but you are one of those parents

Sorry OP but you definitely come across as one of 'those mums' and must think the teacher is shit if you think she doesn't see exactly what going on!

My son is a bit of a sheep when it comes to behaviour but isn’t always innocent either. I have taught him if it feels wrong it probably is no matter what everyone else is doing.

I also refuse to listen what other children are up to as I tell him I am only concerned with his behaviour.

Pretty sure the teacher will be aware.

Concentrate on your own ds behaviour. And maybe unclench a bit? Ime 4-5 year olds do tend to be a bit immature

Since the actions of a 4 year old are making you feel ‘insane’, ‘uptight’, winding you up, making you feel like you have to do something and causing you to label a 4 year old ‘immature’ then I think it says a lot more about you than a very young child who is just learning how to behave.

To say you aren’t the type to gossip at the gates but also say the reason you haven’t mentioned it to other parents is in case they think you are a bitch smells of hypocrisy. How about not mentioning it to other parents as it would be the wrong thing to do.

Your son will need to learn not to follow these kinds of people. Focus on teaching your child to behave well regardless of what other children do.

I only see this silly behaviour when he's with this kid and I always pick DS up on it.

But this is why you come across as one of "those mothers". Of course DS is more silly when he's with his friend all kids are like that. They bounce off each other. Your DS's silliness isn't the other kid's fault.

Just to put the record straight, yes, all 4 year olds are immature....but there are degrees as you all know.

Yes some kids grow up and mature more quickly than others. Just as they learn to walk/talk/read/swim at different rates - you don't blame them for being less mature - you manage the behaviour (and I'm sure the teacher is doing this). If your son is so easily led perhaps he's not particularly mature either!

“..he copies this other kid all the time and really lets himself down”

This is such creepy language to use about a five year old child. He lets himself down? Ugh!

There’s a boy, who was written off in dds class. He was difficult and disruptive for a few years. Understandable as he took what he had witnessed at home and played it out at school. His mother was beaten up on more than one occasion by his father and they finally separated just before he started in reception year. Poor woman looked like a rabbit caught in headlights.

Some of the parents gossiped about them and some even said they thought the story was made up. The queen bee said so much to me herself. Disgusting behaviour.

It took this boy a long time to learn that I was ok and not talking about him. Poor kid. He’s now in yr6 and he still has the reputation yet we have seen him recently and been laughing and joking with him at his instigation. He’s good fun.

This boy is merely messing around. As someone said he’s potentially 25% younger than the eldest and it shows at this age. Developmentally children also vary by over a year at this age. It generally evens out toward the end of junior school.

I take it this is your first child. If you go and speak to the teacher about another child being immature, you will look spiteful and immature yourself. Instigate rules in your family and if x does something else in your home, you tell the you are not the boys parents. But in your family behaves in a certain manner.

"i think I'll just mention DS being easily led and for some advice as to how we manage that together.
I only see this silly behaviour when he's with this kid and I always pick DS up on it. "

Is it possible this other child also only shows this silly behaviour when he's with your DS?

I intensely dislike the idea of a child being singled out. I wholeheartedly agree. I almost hope the Op goes into school and gets slapped down for it.

Assuming this is your PFB?

Cross post. He’s one of the eldest. Well he can still equally be the most immature developmentally and be within the norms. Or maybe he has some additional needs.

Quite frankly I don’t see why you need advice from a teacher about how to parent your child not on school grounds.

Honestly don't worry about this boy. The teacher knows

Work on your son and teaching him not to follow others n what they are doing naughty.
Ds2 walks to his own best but ds1 is very much a follower, even his teachers would say it of him, now at 12 he is getting better n finding himself more but it took drumming into him that's hed responsible for his own actions all the time