To ask will my children ever know how loved they are?

[thewinehasgonetomyhead]

Bit of a soppy one I’m afraid. Dd1 is three, dd2 is 5 months. I’m lucky enough to be a SAHM and I love it so much. I wonder if my girls will ever remember these days we share together and if they’ll really know how loved they truly are?

How do you ensure your ankle biters feel the love?

My older two are 18 and 12- they know, but its the small things like stopping beside the door while I read to their young sister, or pulling out baby/toddler items that have been passed from sister to sister, to another sister. Its the keepsakes, the smell of my perfume, a tiny perfect shell I kept from a beach day. And most of all, they still choose to be around me for most things, and we have a lot of funny memories.
This thread tho. Right in the feels

Mine are now in their 20s. Home is their sanctuaryd when they come back to it, they still share stuff with me (not as much, of course) and they know that, whatever they do, whatever happens to them, whatever their successes, their challenges, their bad times, I'm here. Today, full of flu though I am, I talked DS3 through I 'shall I/shan't I take this job' quandary. DS is in hospital, in a very bad way, and I try to care for him just as much as I did when he was little.

They're not little anymore, they have lives of their own but, hopefully, they know that they are so loved. Lovely thread.

I remember that my mum and dad never ever said they loved us (not an unhappy childhood by any means, but quite cold, shy, awkward parents) so i tell my dc I love them and I tell them why as well.

Really, really great thread.
Just to me reinforces that all the little things we do, are a manifestation of our love, which sometimes I had forgotten, and felt were a chore.
I love the ratio tip, and will try and keep it in mind when it’s swinging the wrong way.
I had been writing down a little collection of funny things they have said as they are learning to talk. But now, anonmum22 you’ve given me an ideA, i’m Going to keep a thankful journal with my kids. A couple of times a week. Because we are all so damn lucky.
X ahhh feel the love x I needed that. thanks all x

My gran never ever told any of her 6 children or 11 grandchildren that she loved them. But by God did we know it. She had this amazing way of making you feel that you were her favourite but without putting the others down (and we ALL felt we were the favourite!). And as my auntie once said about her childhood "love? Love wasnt a wors in our house! But when you came home at night and closed that door, you felt safe and like all the problems of the world were left outside that door. Cos in that house, everybody mattered."

My dm never told us she loved us (she was a sahm).

I find it very difficult to show affection too, maybe inherited or learned?

I've never doubted the strength of her love though as no one is happier when I succeed and no one feels my pain like she does.

We talk at least once a day (and we've still never told each other how we feel!)

Every cuddle, every kiss, every dinner you make them, every story you read them is creating millions of neural pathways in their brain every single day.

Oh yes. When I took my first home from the hospital my mum and dad came to stay to help (I had a car crash delivery). I can remember my mum leaning over my son and singling a silly made up song about how his hair was going to be curly (it wasn't) and saying "the thing about babies is you just have to sing and talk to them" and she did. And then I did too. It is the single best piece of advice I've had about babies.

My parents told me they loved me every day they saw or spoke to me.

My memories of being loved as a child are less about the big gestures or being told I was loved and more about the sense of safety I had at home. Whenever life was chucking lemons at my head, my mum was there, talking with me and seeing what she or I could do to make it better, even though she was at her wits end trying to support three children and a seriously mentally ill husband. I know my mum loved us because she was our safety net.

But there are highlights too, like the day none of us three kids could agree what the cake for Sunday tea should be so she got the mixer out and helped us each make a different flavour cake ourselves.

They may not remember the early days but every hug, every kiss, every moment spent reading to them or playing with them, every I love you and every silly song is giving them a strong, secure start in the world, and shaping their personality, molding them into the person they're going to become. My kids are older now, and complain about the affection, kisses and I love you no matter whats that we force on them but not for one millisecond do they doubt that they are wanted and loved.

As my mum always says, they won't understand how much you love them until they become mothers (if they want to!).

The love I have for my son is incredible. I've never felt anything like it. He can be a terror at times but I spent most of my time watching him like the heart-eyed emoji! We struggled with infertility and adopted him back in January. He is absolutely my whole world.

I tell my DS 4 constantly that I love him, he’s a very affectionate little soul, and the sweetest kid ever, he loves cuddles so we have plenty of those with him. He started School just over 3 weeks ago, and I tell him often how proud I am of him, he gets very anxious about things sometimes and can be very shy, but he’s settled into School so well, and has even been making such a great effort to say hello to other Children, which is a huge thing for him - hes awesome and we couldn’t be prouder of him, so we make sure we tell him. In my eyes even if he grows up not remembering what I’ve said, I hope he will grow up remembering how loved he felt as a Child!