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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband sleeping/Housework routine

115 replies

DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:03

So my husband has just started a new job and is working a lot less hours than he did before.
Previously he was out the house from 7.30am until around 12am.
I wake early everyday and have gotten used to starting the housework as soon as he left in the morning. That was fine as I need to get the washing on the line as early in the morning as possible so it will be dry by late afternoon (it gets very damp here by then).
I've told him that as he now doesn't leave for work before 11.30am that on wash says I still want him out of the bedroom early enough for me to get the washing hung out so it can dry (the bedroom balcony is used for clothes drying and it wakes him up when I put the washing out). He thinks he should be able to sleep in until he needs to get up.
I don't work, we have no children together, it's just the two of us here.
Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:

sizeofalentil · 02/10/2018 23:49

Lots of pp seem to be having a problem understanding your situation - because it’s not exactly like their own lives and you live in a country with a different climate to them.

Could your husband not wear ear plus and/or an eye mask to shut out the sound of laundry for a bit and just doze? Or could he hang out the laundry at the time needed in order for it to dry then go back to bed? He might find it easier to go back to sleep if he is the one doing it.

If this is the only way to do laundry then there’s not much else you can do tbh. Unless he’s prepared to pay for a laundry service.

What time does he want to get up vs what time you need to be in there?

PositivelyPERF · 02/10/2018 23:50

Sounds like op lives somewhere where the willy isn't the scariest bit of a spider.

Doesn’t bare thinking about. 😯

CheshireChat · 02/10/2018 23:52

The OP doesn't necessarily have loads of time on her hands even not taking into account the fact she's ill for you btw.

A lot of stuff in the UK is designed for convenience, when things such as these aren't available, the time you spend having to sort things out quickly mounts up. For example, when you buy the meat it might not be nicely packaged, but need quite a lot of trimming etc. The fruit and veg, particularly root veg for obvious reasons, might come caked in mud so they'll take longer to wash and prep.

You might have to go to specific shops if you need certain things and when you get the detergent from one place, the meat from another and fruit and veg from yet another place it ends up taking a lot of time and a lot more than someone living in the UK has to allocate to do it. Especially when you don't have a lot of money, though this might not be the OP's situation.

coolmule · 02/10/2018 23:57

There seems to be a lot of emphasis on this washing. Why does it have to be such a huge deal. He’s doing less hours than before (which were exceptionally long) but he’s still doing long hours. If it was the other way round you’d probably be irrritated by the washing saga, just like he probably is.

abbsisspartacus · 02/10/2018 23:58

My dad worked 12 hour night shifts my mom would change the bed while he was sleeping in it she literally stripped the bed around him and remade it he was so tired he didn't wake up just rolled over when asked

VanGoghsDog · 03/10/2018 00:14

It's too confusing.

How did you do his laundry when he worked seventeen hour shifts then, considering he was wearing one set and it wasn't off longer than the time to wash and dry it?

If you can't launder til he gets in at 9pm (fine) due to washing taking two hours (get a better machine, mine has several programs, even a fifteen minute wash) and needing both of them, so you do them when you get up at 6am, hang them out at 8am when the washer finishes, and.......you have to do that so they are dry by the afternoon......so, um, what is he wearing to work that day then?

So. Plan. New washer, more programs. He insists his employer allows him at least one more set of uniform, paying for it if he must. You wash am and hang on airer, when he gets up, you move the airer to the balcony. This is only every other day anyway so he might be persuaded to get up an hour earlier on those days?

Really if he's working all these hours in a country where you can't work and it's causing your life to be like this .......move!

HeddaGarbled · 03/10/2018 00:20

Is this the life you imagined for yourself when you were young and in education and you had your whole life ahead of you - fretting about how to get a man’s clothes dry?

Fuck his fucking laundry. You need to live your best life, particularly because of your illness, and this sure as hell isn’t it.

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 03/10/2018 00:22

I agree with hedda!
Who looks after you when you're having treatment?

Butterymuffin · 03/10/2018 00:29

Two money based solutions. One, buy more uniform. You've said it's "not possible" but not why: if his employers will only provide two sets, pay for extra sets yourself. As a pp said, it'll be worth it.

Two, get a better washing machine. Again, as pp have said, there are ones with super fast 15 minute programmes now. That's what you need.

Aintnothingbutaheartache · 03/10/2018 00:34

Surely if he gets home from work at 9pm, allow time for food, wind down etc then getting up at 10am isn’t so dreadful?

crispysausagerolls · 03/10/2018 09:11

This reads like a riddle

MrsStrowman · 03/10/2018 09:51

The best solution as he's up late anyway is for one of you to put a uniform in the wash when he gets home at nine, you then go to bed whenever you please, he hangs it out overnight, you then get it in the next day when it's dry. Repeat this cycle alternating his sets of uniform.

Nothisispatrick · 03/10/2018 10:03

YABU. Sleep is more important than laundry. Is there not a cycle on the washing machine that is less than two hours?

Also really interested to know where you live. Those working hours should not be legal, or at the very least an extra set of uniform shouldn’t be so hard to come by!

ReadMyLipss · 03/10/2018 10:14

As he only has 2 sets of uniform I have to wait until he's home at night to put the wash on. The machine takes 2 hours minimum and I'm either in bed by then or not wanting to put a wash on, wait and hang washing out at that time of night

Possible solution..... Match your waking /sleeping schedule to his? So you put the wash on when he gets in from work and put it out to dry before you BOTH go to bed together.

I assume there's no other reason for you to get up early besides the fact that you 'want' to?

PlateOfBiscuits · 03/10/2018 10:53

Will work 28 days on/4 days off. Wait, 28 days in a row?!

Both you and your husband sound like you work hard. I would just put the laundry out while he’s sleeping - it will wake him up but he can go back to sleep after.

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