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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband sleeping/Housework routine

115 replies

DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:03

So my husband has just started a new job and is working a lot less hours than he did before.
Previously he was out the house from 7.30am until around 12am.
I wake early everyday and have gotten used to starting the housework as soon as he left in the morning. That was fine as I need to get the washing on the line as early in the morning as possible so it will be dry by late afternoon (it gets very damp here by then).
I've told him that as he now doesn't leave for work before 11.30am that on wash says I still want him out of the bedroom early enough for me to get the washing hung out so it can dry (the bedroom balcony is used for clothes drying and it wakes him up when I put the washing out). He thinks he should be able to sleep in until he needs to get up.
I don't work, we have no children together, it's just the two of us here.
Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 02/10/2018 23:10

As he only has 2 sets of uniform I have to wait until he's home at night to put the wash on. The machine takes 2 hours minimum and I'm either in bed by then or not wanting to put a wash on, wait and hang washing out at that time of night.

He's got 2 sets. Buy 1 more set and this is a non-issue anyway. Or let him wear it dirty...

NordicNobody · 02/10/2018 23:10

I also don't really understand why he has to get up for you to put the laundry out? I get that it wakes him up but can he not just go back to sleep when you're done or while you're doing it? Ear plugs and an eye mask on laundry days? On my lie in days I still wake up when DS does and usually I go back to sleep once he's up, but even if I can't get back to sleep I still stay in bed as long as I want resting or reading.

notapizzaeater · 02/10/2018 23:11

If he's getting home at 9pm, I don't blame him for not going to bed till late. It would be like people on normal hours going to bed at8pm. He needs time to wind down, eat tea, chill.

Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 23:12

Christ ... you are being unreasonable, I wish a life when my only stress was the time to hanging out washing Did I say this was my only stress? Breast cancer.... that suit you? Angry

OP posts:
genivert · 02/10/2018 23:12

what the heck is being "darked on"?

i often leave my clothes horse on the balcony overnight. why on earth would that be a bad thing? (assuming you have somewhere to shelter it from rain)

it gets early morning sun that way.

Why can't his employer provide more uniforms? what kind of military/private company only permits 2 uniforms which need to be changed every wear? what happens when something needs to be repaired, or the washing machine breaks down, or if he didn't have a wife?

why is your life so difficult and different to ours, OP?

you have zero work commitments, plenty of time and the ingenuity of the MN collective.. i'm sure we can figure out what laws of nature don't apply in your rainforest which makes all our suggestions impossible to implement Grin

Brambleboo · 02/10/2018 23:14

I think, seeing as it's his work gear and his shift pattern is so intensive, then he is going to have to try and accommodate the laundry schedule a bit more; I'm sure he wouldn't be happy if you sent him to work in unwashed or damp clothes. Either that or he'll have to wear earplugs on wash-day mornings.

The only other thing I can think of is asking about the possibility of getting more work-wear items?

serbska · 02/10/2018 23:15

Are you sneaking in quietly to go hang the washing out, or do you crash in and draw the curtains and make a performance out of it?

crimsonlake · 02/10/2018 23:15

This thread is so amusing and the op has still not revealed where she lives. Agree your husband needs downtime when he gets in. There has to be a solution and a compromise. Personally I cannot see how you creeping in to the room to hang the washing would disturb him so much. Solution is ear plugs.

Popc0rn · 02/10/2018 23:17

I spent £100 recently buying extra uniforms for work, best 100 quid I've spent as I only have to do a work wash every two weeks now to have a fresh uniform everyday Grin.

If it's a uniform, are you sure you can't buy more? I just looked at the label in mine and googled it, then ordered them online. Could he ask his work for more?

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/10/2018 23:20

I know it's not the same but when I went full time at work in 2015 they gave me 1 pair of trousers and 2 blouses. I worked Mon to Fri and don't have a tumble dryer.

I was having to put the heating on in July etc to dry my uniform on the radiator.

Also 28 days on and 4 off? I would say that's illegal but then you aren't uk.

PositivelyPERF · 02/10/2018 23:21

I’m just wondering where the OP is, in order to work out if the risk of spider willies is worth them getting darked on. 👚👕👖👗🌛 🕷 🍆

Italiangreyhound · 02/10/2018 23:22

He is working and you are at home with no kids to look after. He used to work 7.30 until 12.00 a.m. what does that mean, midnight?

And now he is working fewer hours you want him to wake up so you can air dry washing?

YABVU. Get a clothes horse and let him sleep.

confusedmummy76 · 02/10/2018 23:23

Stop being so lazy!! Ur husband is working all hours to support YOU!

MrsCrabbyTree · 02/10/2018 23:23

I'd be doing the washing the minute he walks through the door making it ready to hang early the next morning. This maybe a compromise for you but I am sure you can cope.

A little tip: Place the washing on the airer in front of a fan. It helps clothes dry faster and costs little in electricity.

Italiangreyhound · 02/10/2018 23:26

Ah ha "We have a clotheshorse but that's no good indoors, too much humidity."

Ok so can you do the washing and then put it on the clothes horse and just carry it out to balcony?

In terms of guessing where you are, I used to live in Singapore and it was very humid. I think India, Thailand, Mayalysia, all humid.

Good luck with the laundry. Smile

Annandale · 02/10/2018 23:27

Yeah, no. Anyone who busts my sleep for housework can forget it. Is there really no possibility of obtaining a third uniform?

Tell him the problem, let him come up with the solution. Or get one of the fabled Lakeland heated airers

Womaningreen · 02/10/2018 23:27

So on top of living somewhere there's no dryers, spectacular humidity, etc etc...

There's also a law that means employers won't allow you extra work uniforms

Wow, I'm glad to be in England.

I used to finish work at 9, couldn't get to sleep before 1 or 2.

If it's just work uniform, what's waking him up, the noise of the washing machine?

I think he should put it on hand wash and spin and you could pop it outside when you get up.

This is definitely one of the oddest posts I've seen. Is it a military role?

FlibbertyGiblets · 02/10/2018 23:29

I'm sorry to hear you have BC. That's a bit of a bugger. Flowers

Womaningreen · 02/10/2018 23:32

Sorry, just saw you dry it on the bedroom balcony

Hang it out the night before, if it rains, well, what do you do if it rains in the morning?

What did you do when he worked the super long hours?

Why am I so invested? Grin

Thisimmortalcurl · 02/10/2018 23:33

Suit me?
You started a thread on washing not breast cancer .
I’m sure I could reel off various shitty things and stress in my life but I won’t .
Yes you are being unreasonable about the washing .. he is working long hours and needs the sleep however I wish you a speedy recovery .

HeddaGarbled · 02/10/2018 23:36

Can you move back to the U.K? I think you are bored out of your brain.

fruitbrewhaha · 02/10/2018 23:44

Tahiti?

CalishataFolkart · 02/10/2018 23:44

Monday - he wears Uniform 1
Monday night - he puts Uniform 1 in the wash as soon as he comes home and hangs it out at 11pm (giving him two hours to wind down, but still getting to bed at a reasonable hour if he chooses).

Tuesday - he wears Uniform 2. You bring in Uniform 1 when it is dry.
Tuesday night - he puts Uniform 2 in the wash as soon as he comes home and hangs it out at 11pm (giving him two hours to wind down but still getting to bed at a reasonable hour if he chooses).

Wednesday - he wears Uniform 1. You bring in Uniform 2 when it is dry.

Rinse and repeat.

PickAChew · 02/10/2018 23:45

Sounds like op lives somewhere where the willy isn't the scariest bit of a spider.

Italiangreyhound · 02/10/2018 23:45

I'm really sorry to hear about the breast cancer, OP. Thanks

Are you getting the best treatment where you are? Are you happy there.

Wishing you all the best for the future.

if it is your husband's uniform that is needing washing I'd wash it out at night, hang it up at night, assuming it doesn't rain a lot, and then I'd probably have a lie in too.