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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband sleeping/Housework routine

115 replies

DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:03

So my husband has just started a new job and is working a lot less hours than he did before.
Previously he was out the house from 7.30am until around 12am.
I wake early everyday and have gotten used to starting the housework as soon as he left in the morning. That was fine as I need to get the washing on the line as early in the morning as possible so it will be dry by late afternoon (it gets very damp here by then).
I've told him that as he now doesn't leave for work before 11.30am that on wash says I still want him out of the bedroom early enough for me to get the washing hung out so it can dry (the bedroom balcony is used for clothes drying and it wakes him up when I put the washing out). He thinks he should be able to sleep in until he needs to get up.
I don't work, we have no children together, it's just the two of us here.
Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 02/10/2018 22:28

Goodness, he has worked a lot of hours. 7.30 until midnight is a crazy amount of hours, he must have been knackered.
I think cut him some slack here, let him sleep and come up with a different solution, whatever that may be.
Can I ask why you don't work? (Not goady, need to know as it does affect the answers).

Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:28

adaline we don't have radiators and airdryers are not a "thing" here (non UK). It's balcony drying or nowhere.

OP posts:
Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:29

Can I ask why you don't work? (Not goady, need to know as it does affect the answers) Why?

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 02/10/2018 22:30

Where are you OP? I'm intrigued to know where in the world doesn't have airers.

Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:31

say fuck off to most ironing. I do not own an iron..... out of choice Grin

OP posts:
overnightangel · 02/10/2018 22:31

OP you sound like an absolute nightmare.
Do you work?

arethereanyleftatall · 02/10/2018 22:32

Because if you don't work through choice, and are able to, and he is supporting you by working umpteen hours, then I think he should sleep, and you should hang washing around that.
But if there is a reason you can't work, then suggestions like he hangs the washing out before he goes become much more reasonable.

Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:33

Crunchymum now you've called it an airer I think I know what you mean. I thought pp's were talking about the warm air dryer stand thingies. We have a clotheshorse but that's no good indoors, too much humidity. The washing needs to be dried outside.

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 02/10/2018 22:34

Where on earth do you live where radiators are not a thing, airers are not a thing and there is no sun for half the day?

Finfintytint · 02/10/2018 22:35

Snowdonia? Lol

Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:35

arethereanyleftatall it would be illegal for me to work without a permit and I can't get one.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 02/10/2018 22:37

You sort of remind me of a friend I used to have. She didn't work either and lived with her husband in Southern Italy. She once repainted their hallway 4 times in a month and would spend two hours each morning cleaning the windows and reorganising their pantry. They eventually divorced for other reasons but I'm pretty sure one reason was her relentless busy-body nature.

Find a hobby.

Piccalillies · 02/10/2018 22:38

Can you put the washing out on the balcony the night before?

arethereanyleftatall · 02/10/2018 22:38

Fair enough.
In that case I'd hang the clothes the night before and leave them overnight to get the morning sun without disturbing dh.

GoodHearted · 02/10/2018 22:38

You sound like a nagging pain in the arse to be honest.

BUT...

well done on saying 'my husband' instead of DH 👍🏻

Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:41

ZeroFuchsGiven there is no mains gas and can't afford electric radiators, we have zero heating/cooling at all. I've already said that I have a clotheshorse but thought pp's were referring to hot air dryers. Our clotheshorse cannot be used inside due to humidity (also mentioned before). I didn't say there was no sun for half the day, I said it gets very damp here of an afternoon/evening (when we've not got storms)

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 02/10/2018 22:41

Where are you? Roughly?

Or shall we try and guess? Grin

Finfintytint · 02/10/2018 22:43

Patagonia?

Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:43

*GoodHeartedf

You sound like a nagging pain in the arse to be honest

BUT...

well done on saying 'my husband' instead of DH

Best response so far! Grin I'm not a fan of the DH/DC/DS/DD/Dwhatever

OP posts:
Original poster
DBN1 · 02/10/2018 22:45

Crunchymum

Where are you? Roughly?

Or shall we try and guess?

Ooh yes, please do! Grin

OP posts:
CardinalCat · 02/10/2018 22:45

If you genuinely live somewhere with no access to driers, and where humidity (or other weather conditions) means that morning is the only time to dry clothes on your balcony, then you and your dh have to weigh up whether it is better that he has broken sleep or dirty clothes.

I am still confused though (partly as you express a preference for morning washing which suggests it's not an absolute necessity). Can't you just do a weekly wash during his time off? And have enough clothes to get him through the week? Or does he only possess one or two work outfits or uniforms? It all sounds like an incredible hassle on your part and I'm sure there must be an easier way.

I can understand if, visa-wise, you cannot get a paid job that you would want to be useful and helpful at home, but you're in danger of creating a problem here, where none should exist.

Crunchymum · 02/10/2018 22:46

So it's somewhere humid, damp in the afternoon / evening, prone to storms, doesn't have mains gas? Anything I've missed?

Finfintytint · 02/10/2018 22:49

The damp in the afternoons, no mains gas and prone to storms covers my village pretty accurately. Not the humidity though.

Ginkypig · 02/10/2018 22:50

How early are you talking though?

Sammysees · 02/10/2018 22:53

OP lives in the rain forest Grin