Its just boiled vegetables

[milkytea]

Earlier DH and I were discussing dinner. Were talking a simple pasta dish with vegetables. Had it all planned out but I got sick and said I don't really feel up to eating so I'm going to sit dinner out tonight. He then gets all pissed off and says "well fine then. We had it all planned out but I guess I'll just have plain pasta instead." He proceeded to silent treatment me for 45 minutes until I asked him wtf was wrong. He said "I was really looking forward to it and now I can't have it." I told him of course he can I just won't be making it as I keep being sick. He sulks and says " just forget it then, I won't bother."

AIBU? Or should he have just boiled the bloody vegetables himself if it was that big a fucking deal!

" Kinda makes me feel like a crappy partner when he does these things."
Well isn't that EXACTLY what he's aiming to do with his sulking? He makes you feel crappy and then you'll remember that feeling next time he starts to sulk and that'll encourage you to backtrack and say 'of course I'll cook dinner, my vomiting every 5 minutes isn't nearly as important as you feeling as if you are my Lord and Master, which of course you are'.

Your husband is a total git. He wants you to dance attendance on him, no matter what your needs might be. I'd bet money that if you cast your mind back, you could find lots of instances of this kind of shitty behaviour from him .

Oh dear.tell your Husband to think about one of today's awful news items, and then think about the lack of vegetables !! some people don't even have any pasta to eat.

Op I hope you consider leaving this man.

It's not you who is the crappy partner but he's got you well trained

Wtf is wrong with him its fucking pasta

OP get a veg steamer it will be easier and quicker for your child to use to make his own dinner

Another man child incapable of looking after himself.

And if we let them get away with this shit we are enabling them. So we need to just. Fucking. Stop. Doing. It.

Did he provide tea for DD?

yes that does sound petulant and controlling. and not normal. you're definitely not the bad partner, but he is!

Is this how you want to spend your life?

@Rosehip10 I'm really interested in your question, what's the theory?

Kinda makes me feel like a crappy partner when he does these things.

You need to really think about this statement.

You feel like a bad personal when he behaves badly?

You feel bad for taking a few hours personal time?
You feel bad for being ill?

Yeah the fact you feel like a crappy partner when he's being completely unreasonable shows you are being manipulated.

A thoroughly depressing thread. Hope you feel better OP and ltb.

Bloody hell my four year old would be more understanding than that. I definitely think you need to puke in his pasta.

Sulking like this is because you HAVE a crappy partner not because you are one.
Did he sort dds tea? Did he do one single nice helpful thing for you as a healthy adult and your partner while you were sick? Or just expect you to continue caring for him?

I’m pretty unwell in early pregnancy. If I’m not eating for a couple months, I’m absolutely not cooking for a couple of months except very simple things for my toddler on good days.

Aaw OP I hope you feel better soon.

Mainly so you can give him a swift kick in the cock and report back.

This sounds more like my 15 year old DS, who would rather starve than make his own lunch!

He would never expect me to cook if I wasn't well, though.

Doesn't matter if it was pasta with a truffle sauce or a boiled egg. If you are unwell you are unwell.

Very unkind to get in a tizz about it.

So there was actually a version of the sauce he could have used & he didn't even do that?

He sounds ridiculous & nasty with it.

He thinks that you should want to spend with him???

Why would anyone??

Oh dear. I was hoping for the legitimate dripfeed but no. Unfortunately he’s just a giant bellend.

Time for him to cook at least twice a week. And for you to get a hobby outside the house at least twice a week too.

Quantum, I suspect that the times when your dh is lovely and supportive are the times you - perhaps without even noticing it, because it's so ingrained - put him first and make sure he's happy. When you or the dc are ill, he can't be put first, and I suspect he really doesn't like that. It's a guess, seeing as I don't know him, but I fear an educated one.

How a partner is when you're ill is, I think, one of the key tests.

OP, I feel for you. Sounds like some practical measures need to be put into place (if you can, and if you want to) if you are not at the stage of LTB (I have no idea whether this is a 'new' thing for him or a constant). Share the cooking - if he 'can't', then he needs to learn. How would he cope if you were simply not around? Plenty of 'how to' cookery books in the library / cheap on Amazon. Go to your blooming hairdressing appointments, have your own time and space. YOU need to be 'waited' on for once, at least.

Jeez, man child extraordinaire.

He sounds nice.

This is ridiculous. Even bearing in mind that he's evidently a dick, which your haircut example suggests, sheer self-interest alone should make someone not want to eat food prepared by a person with an upset stomach.

Boiled veg with pasta? What veg?

Sorry hadn't read the thread