AIBU to put MIL straight?

[WhackyBirds]

I probably am being unreasonable lol! but I’ve had enough of pretending.

MIL is fixated with shoving SIL down everyone’s throats. Poor SIL this, poor SIL that, it’s her main topic of conversation and usually results in an indirect request for something that “poor SIL” needs such as help doing something or an item she can’t afford.

The thing is, poor SIL isn’t “poor” (monetarily or in any other way). She exaggerates to MIL about needing help with stuff because she knows MIL will ring around the family and beg for help. SIL has money. Granted, not a lot, she’s a lone parent and one of her three children’s father’s doesn’t pay her anything (he’s overseas) but enough to go out regularly and drink and eat and shop (the photos are on Facebook). So when we get the “DN needs shoes” calls, it pisses me off. Priorities SIL!

The latest is that SIL needs new bedroom furniture and MIL has asked everyone to give SIL money for Christmas, instead of a gift, to buy the furniture. (SIL is nearly 50 btw! Why MIL is still controlling her gifts I don't know.) she also wants it early. Like now!

Whether we do this or not is not the point. We would only give the same amount as we would spend anyway (about £30). But I really feel like saying to MIL to stop with the begging because SIL has been on Facebook posting pictures of her new shoes and crap and if she stopped buying such stuff she could afford to run her own house.

It’s nothing to do with me though is it?!

(For the record, DH doesn’t get these requests, I do. MIL believes in a matriarchy and expects the women to do the interacting stuff.)

Are you old sb74? Is that why you have your views? You sound elderly!

My above post is toungue in cheek to make a point. It’s not nice being labelled because of your sex or age is it?

And before anyone starts with the “Why, what’s wrong with being elderly?” I had nothing else to work with lol!

So as I said, you’re the exception. So what if it does stay that way forever? It’s hardly a life-changer?? I don’t know why we are in a world that constantly fights against our innate traights. I’m proud to be a woman. I earn a good income and am very independant but I like a man to be a gentleman. I like them to open doors etc and treat me like a woman. But that too is sexist by definition. But I like it. I think it’s a shame we live in a world that frowns upon differences between men and women. I like being female. I’m pretty crap at a lot of female stuff but still better than my other half. I agree woman should have the same rights etc as men but why can’t we enjoy being the fairer sex? I personally don’t want us to all be the same. I expect my hubby to put the bins out and I’m happy for that to go on forever.

I couldn’t care less what you think about my views with your silly elderly comment. I think it’s a shame we live in this world as it is. It’s not a nice place anymore.

Am I the exception? I don’t know. In my circle I’m very much the norm.

And how does me not buying DH’s families presents make the world ‘not a nice place’. We have a lovely relationship with mutual respect and consideration. We split jobs fairly, I just won’t take on chores because someone has decided that as I’m a woman I’m better at it than my husband is. Sometimes he puts the bins out, sometimes I do, depending on who isn’t otherwise occupied at the time the bins need going out.
You’re happy with your way, I’m happy with mine. Not sure why it’s making you so irate.

So, If you were struggling with heavy shopping you wouldn’t expect your hubby to carry it? Men are stronger but I guess that’s being phased out too with all the other madness. I’m going. The work is mad.

World not work

It’s not making me irate. I don’t think we do live in a very nice world now. It’s not about this thread in particular it’s just how society is going, attitudes, values etc. It’s sad to see.

Sometimes I put the bins out too but it always pees me off coz I do so much other stuff. So it’s his job now.

You see putting the bins out doesn’t pee me off because he more than pulls his weight in other areas, such as doing the cooking. It’s give and take.
With your shopping example, I have no idea as we’ve never been in a situation where I’ve felt unable to carry my bags. He does the food shopping online so it’s never been an issue for us.
Not sure the example is relevant to women buying Christmas presents anyway. I don’t think there is any proof that women are better at doing this than men.

Sometimes I put the bins out too but it always pees me off coz I do so much other stuff. So it’s his job now.

Ooooh!

You go sound pissed off about your own stance sb74

Perhaps if things were a little more equal in your house you would have a better life lol!

Well, I’m saying nothing. He’s a lovely man in lots of ways. He thinks he does a lot! Still stand by all I’ve said though. I was moving stacks of chairs around the other day for a meeting I was holding and felt peed off that not one man offered to help. I am in Sales and they are my customers so I know my place!! And I know a woman could have offered too but men are stronger and should be gentlemen?? Anyway I’ll stop
Moaning. Doing some work now. Have a good day!!