To make daughter pay for dinner when out

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Hi my eldest is 19 and we went on a day out on Sunday, we both bought our own theatre tickets and then she bought dinner. I said if she wanted to go for a meal she would need to pay as I can't afford it. Was that unreasonable my friend keeps digging at me that she could never let her teenager pay

I've only occasionally been able to buy a meal for my parents for a special event or whatever. I'd always have been happy to treat them if I could afford something and they couldn't - or just if I could afford it, because it's a nice thing to do. It's weirder to me for costs to be split; if I'm out with my MIL then one of us pays, the other one can pay next time (though she always tries to pay anyway, I prefer to as she's always buying things for the baby).

The more important question is - did you have a nice lunch? If so then it's all good. The most important thing is that you and your DD enjoy hanging out together.

My parents are in their late 80s (I am 60) and still don't like me paying for meals out/treats etc - to be honest I now just accept gracefully and arrange my own treats for them by making sure I have paid in advance. Even then I have to argue not to accept the money back - they always say things like 'we know you young (!!) people have so many expenses these days'.

Your dd treated her mum to a meal while you were spending quality time together? Outrageous!

In all seriousness that's lovely OP. Im sure your dd appreciates all you do for her and felt good about giving something back.

I used to treat my mum to lunch out when I started working. My 18 year old dd occasionally orders a take away for us and insists on paying for it, even though there's no need. She will not accept my half of the money. She says she likes to treat me when she can.

Think no more about it.

what's the big deal?? If she's got the cash to treat you to dinner she should!

Why not, it's nice to treat your mum and dad sometimes I often bought my parents a meal or a coffee or a bottle of wine when I started earning. I don't see anything wrong especially if things are tight for you and she is the one fancied eating out

But you didn't make her pay.

She said let's do theatre and meal.

You said I can't afford a meal

She said I'll buy.

Sounds like you're doing a great job as a parent, both to have a teenage daughter who wants to spend leisure time with you and to have a daughter who accepts your financial situation and will treat you.
Well done.

If you can't afford it then yanbu. We used to be really really strapped for cash so wouldn't even suggest going out for a meal as we couldn't afford to pay our half. Now we can afford it we always pay, which sometimes is a little annoying as I know one daughter is a quite extravagant with her money and never offers. But life's too short...

If your DD wanted to go out for dinner with you and was happy to pay then I don’t see why it’s anyone else’s business. She is an adult and she can spend her money on whatever she wants. It’s not like you tricked her into the restaurant and pretended you’d lost your purse.