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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Your ''one that got away''

120 replies

LolaPickle · 01/10/2018 23:24

Does anyone else have a ''one that got away'' - in terms of EX's?

One that pops in to your mind from time to time, but you don't keep in contact with?

OP posts:

PrincessWire · 01/10/2018 23:26

We were fwb. Both wanted to take it further into a relationship but I chickened out. Still slightly regret letting that one go...

LoniceraJaponica · 01/10/2018 23:26

No. I was lucky, and married him 37 years ago. We are still together.

buttontin · 01/10/2018 23:29

Married him, left him, regretted it, found out he was remarried, looked him up on Facebook, didn’t regret it anymore

stellabird · 01/10/2018 23:31

We had a mad passionate love affair when we were young.....family interference broke us up.....both married other people. Fast forward 30 years.....both divorced.....he looked me up. Wrote online for a year, met and spent a week in a hotel without ever leaving the room. We've been together for 15 years, married for 10 years, happy as can be.

bluebellforest · 01/10/2018 23:33

stellabird wow, that just gave me goosebumps. How wonderful! 😊

MulticolourMophead · 01/10/2018 23:35

I don't think it's a "one that got away" thing, more just a "how's life treated you" thing about one classmate.

Otherwise, I'm up for future fun in my newly single life.

stellabird · 01/10/2018 23:37

bluebellforest yes it really happened - just last night we were talking about how crazy we were to let other people interfere in our relationship when we were young. But heck, we're happy now and the people who interfered are all long gone - so we got the last laugh.

Annandale · 01/10/2018 23:38

There's one I was never able to accept didn't want to be with me, despite the fact I haven't seen him for about 20 years. Though thank goodness I didn't behave in a stalkery way.

Well, not really.

Apart from the obsessive googling and checking of LinkedIn. But yanno. Is that stalkery? Really? Legally I mean? [cough]

BobLemon · 01/10/2018 23:42

stellabird wow!

Funny you should ask this Q, OP. I bumped into my “OTGA” this weekend!!! He looked grey and shorter than I remembered, and he had quite large children in tow! I used to think of him as that anyway, till I met my current OH.

I’m not sure what I’ll be calling my OH in a few years...

MrsStrowman · 01/10/2018 23:43

My one that got away is now my husband. Best friends at school. Hooked up a couple of times (in the tamest of senses) at such firm, but it never went anywhere, both too shy/embarrassed about it and our friendship in the sober light of day. Went off to different UNi's, stayed close friends. Got together properly at 25, nine years later we're married, DC1 on the way.
There was a guy when I was about 19/20 who I thought for at least six months was the one who got away (I wasn't ready for it to end), then realised he was a complete dick and I was well off out if it

MrsStrowman · 01/10/2018 23:44

*sixth form, not such firm

Flossy04 · 01/10/2018 23:51

Teenage friends talked constantly, neither of us took the jump so drifted apart 7 years later out of the blue for a message and now been together for a year and planning our future!!

tigercub50 · 01/10/2018 23:55

He didn’t get away as he was never mine 😥 but I can safely say I have never been so affected by a man before or since. There was a huge connection & we both knew that if we had been single, there was the potential for something incredible. ( I have to add that my marriage was not good when I met this guy & if it was to happen now I don’t think it would be the same, despite the fact that he was sex on a stick & a really lovely person to boot).

Babyshart · 02/10/2018 00:15

My high school boyfriend aged 15/16ish. It's been years since we first got together and at least 2 years since I last spoke to him, even longer since I last saw him. He's not really my usual type at all to look at or even conventionally attractive if that makes sense? But oh wow I think he is simply beautiful and the connection I always felt was just incredible, and he always hinted he felt the same. Even thinking about him now just makes me smile. We could just sit and talk for hours, even if we hadn't seen each other for a while, even after not seeing each other for a year. As a stupid 18 year old he found me with a group of random guys after I had my drink spiked, he took me home, put me in pyjamas and put me to bed, he looked after me and I've never felt so safe and comfortable with anyone else. I always wonder if the stars will one day align and if we are meant to be.

Aaaaaaaaand back to reality now, sorry for that soppy little moment

DelilahandDaisy · 02/10/2018 00:18

I loved him so completely. At the time. We are still friends, but he is actually nowhere near as good as my husband. Perhaps not what you are looking for, but why would anyone live in the past anyway. I feel sorry for those who don’t “go bigger”.

PawneeParksDept · 02/10/2018 00:25

My OTGA

Can't say I'm really over it to be honest, was like an Austen hero brought to life, but I hurt him without intending it and I believe we might have a had a second chance if he could've forgiven me but he couldn't and seemed to enjoy using the upper hand to be cruel - I think my hurting him changed him as the old him wouldn't have done that.

( I didn't cheat on him or anything it was complicated )

UbercornsGoggles · 02/10/2018 00:35

A guy I met a few months before I moved back to the UK after living overseas for 5 years. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I hadn't left, a lot went unsaid I think. Though he was generally rubbish at verbally expressing any emotion and my now husband tells me every day that he loves me which is wonderful, so things probably worked out for the best.

KC225 · 02/10/2018 00:37

Yes but he left me broken hearted. He was wildly inappropriate and a real bad boy. I occasionally google him, but never wonder what if ....... He is that guy who is always looking over your shoulder for that next thrill. I am happily married to a great guy but less edge of your seat.

mikado1 · 02/10/2018 00:38

Omg sex on a stick, haven't heard of that in a long time!! :)

Defender90 · 02/10/2018 00:41

Yeah. He was the double of a young Marti Pellow, I even forgave double denim - he was my first knee trembler.

FB searched him about 6 months ago, from what I seen it would never have panned out to be honest.

Gosh he was sexy.

Chickenwings85 · 02/10/2018 00:46

I saw mine last week whilst away with my friends and DP. We had gone back to a place where I once worked and I honestly didn't expect to see anyone I know there let alone my OTGA! It was the most surreal thing and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was so awful to him all those years ago, once my contract was over I had to go back to my home town until the next season. We were really serious about each other but I was young, stupid and thought I was THE shit. When I had to leave because of my contract, I eneded up dumping him by text because I thought he would cheat and we wouldn't stand a chance doing the long distance thing. When we were together we had a fantastic relationship he really was my everything back then as I was his, he would've done anything for me but I eneded it in such a disgusting way I'm so ashamed of my 20 year old self.
When I saw him last week working at the place I was visiting I literally stopped dead in my tracks and briefly told my friends and DP why and who he was. I eneded up seeing him nearly every night and having to walk past him, I couldn't even look at him because so much came flooding back, it was truly so weird! I don't love the man anymore I'm just ashamed with my old self and how bloody stupid I was to have let him go.
Over the course of last week my DP and friends kept telling me his eyes lit up every time he saw me like a love struck teenager and how happy he looked to see me yet I couldn't look at him. My DP was brilliant about it all and let me talk about everything to do with my OTGA and old feelings and memories. I know he's got a long term girlfriend now and a baby and I'm really happy for him because he's such a lovely man and does deserve every happiness in the world and so much more.

FrogFairy · 02/10/2018 00:57

Oh yes. He was a lovely man, everything you could want in a partner. Even his family were all lovely and would have made great inlaws. But I stupidly ended it and lived to regret it.

He is now very happily married to a lovely lady. I suspect he had a lucky escape from me.

Havabiscuit · 02/10/2018 01:11

I have a one that got away, he always felt the same about me. I met him by chance at a sales conference in a hotel. You can guess outcome. He was married but I suppose I justified it by thinking “he was mine first “
Anyway, it turned out very messy as someone told his wife. Awful!

DelilahandDaisy · 02/10/2018 01:23

People don’t own other people hava. His poor wife.

Dontfeellikeamillenial · 02/10/2018 02:12

Oh yes. Includes fbook stalking. Should totally have been together.

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