Your ''one that got away''

[LolaPickle]

Does anyone else have a ''one that got away'' - in terms of EX's?

One that pops in to your mind from time to time, but you don't keep in contact with?

We met at university and had an on again / off again relationship for nearly 10 years. I always assumed that we would end up together, I behaved very badly at times, and so did he. His parents were awful people, but then I was very demanding and unreasonable because I thought that’s how I was meant to act? Too many soap operas growing up!
Anyway, we had some time apart and both met other people. I Facebook stalk him from time to time and know he has a son a year younger than my daughter. I haven’t spoken to him in 8 years, or had any communication with him. I hope he’s happy.
I very much doubt he sees me in a nice light, he’s probably grateful he escaped! It’s one of my biggest regrets that I couldn’t sort myself out and we couldn’t work through our issues (his parents hated me, and wouldn’t accept me as I’m northern and too ‘common’ for thier liking, these things matter when you are 25).

One lives on the other side of the world now with his family, he was my teenage heartbreaker.

The other was someone I met in my early 20s but I was happily with someone else at the time (my now Husband). He lives near Manchester with his pretty grim, boring wife and they're currently going through IVF. The latter, although we're still close friends, has put me off him a bit as he 'settled' for her "because that's what you do in your 30's" apparently (his words) when he should've carried on enjoying his life and found the 'right' woman, and been genuinely happy.

Just checked out mine's FB - his profile picture is still a scruffy picture I took 10 years ago! Sat here giggling at photos he's got up from our trip to London. I love DH but he could never pull off poses like that. Shame I was such a shit to him in the end, I would love to still be good friends

I was thinking about this the other day. I’ll preface it with I love my husband and I know that the OTGA was toxic and dangerous but...

A mad will we / won’t we in our last year at uni - he ‘wooed’ me - proper bad boy with drug issues, but singled me out etc... oh so predictable. He. Broke. My. Heart. The last time we spoke I walked out of his house knowing if I crossed the line it would be worse and trying to muster my last vestige of self preservation. I’ve never been so upset but I’m glad I did it. I saw him a few years ago on the tube and I hid. I wouldn’t ever want to put myself in his orbit again. In so many ways I’m GLAD I got away. I think he’s married now. It took me a long long time to get over it but I met my lovely DH and wouldn’t change him for the world. No it’s not roller coaster and edge of my seat but who knows whether it was all just a big game anyway.

Ugh! I do wonder sometimes - it was electric between us but as my mum said when she met him (for 30 seconds at my graduation) “I can see why you like him, but he’s dangerous”. Mothers. Clever eh?

I went out with a lad at uni who was from my home town, he graduated before me so we ended up long distance (a few hundred miles). It wasn't working so we broke up. The next couple of years I lived in another part of the country, I had a few bfs and travelled the world. The entire time I missed him, when I was with the other bfs who were great I just couldn't commit because the ex bf still had my heart, not that I told anyone that!

When I got back from travelling mid 20s I moved back home. I'd been thinking about contacting the ex and then one day I took a leap of faith and messaged him asking if he fancied a drink. I wasn't even sure if he was single. We went out and I remember him going to the bar for a drink and walking back towards me and my heart fluttered, it just felt right. We got very drunk that night and had a kiss. He proposed to me exactly 5 years after we went out on that night out. We've been together 10 years and are married with 2 children.

I always had a feeling that he was the one that got away, no one came close to him when we were apart. He admitted he missed me too but he thought I was having so much fun (via Facebook!) with traveling etc that I'd not be intestested in him, he assumed my life had moved on.

I was young (21) and had just come out of a serious relationship, he was 15 years older and just separated from his wife. We had a very passionate few months together but then he wasn't over his wife. I was pretty devastated. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have worked out due to the age difference anyway but I often wonder where he is now (15 years later).

not sure it really counts, as we were very young (17?) and only ever saw each other at a scabby nightclub, but our connection was incredibly intense.

but one week she didn't show up. turned out she'd developed glandular fever, and was bed-ridden for months. this was pre-SM and mobiles, so had no way of getting in touch with her.

as an immature, horny 17 year old, 6 months was an absolute life-time, so that was that.

but i still get a twitch if i smell peach schnapps (she always tasted of archers and lemonade!).

We met online 11 years ago, and despite me having a fiancé and him having a gf we spoke every day.

We shared things with each other that we couldn’t with other people.
It was safe, yet exciting and we were falling for each other but involved with other people.

Him and his GF broke up and things intensified, my fiancé began physically abusing me and it ramped up further.

We met but it was awkward, and when we were supposed to be meeting up the next day to go out for the night, he chickened out and drove away. He had another girl coming to visit him that weekend and I knew he had seen her.
I was heartbroken after travelling hours to meet him I sent him a barrage of abuse and he made a hundred excuses. We didn’t speak for months and I decided I was done.

I became quite ill shortly afterwards and decided to end things with my abusive fiancé, I wanted closure with the other guy and got in contact with him, he was thrilled.

He grovelled and apologised saying he was too ashamed to get back in touch with me, nothing happened with the other girl, but he couldn’t leave her in a strange town in her own.
Eventually I forgave him, and we spoke every day for a month, it was back to normal again if not better.

We met again a week after I got back off holiday and had the best time, we were head over heels in love and now 8 years later we’ve just celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary and have an almost 2yo DD.

He says I was his OTGA, but I came back to him.

Not necessarily OTGA because we never got together, I adore DP but one of my male friends is a big 'what if?'. We met through mutual friends and as soon as he walked through the door it was a 'I'm in big trouble' knock the wind out of me feeling. Immediately clicked and have been firm friends since that day; people have always commented on our chemistry and said we should be together, how well suited we are etc.... I was in a relationship though, which has been rocky and he has been supportive (not to EA territory).
We went out one night, nothing unusual but I woke up to an 'I love you' message, we both ignored it and carried as normal. Fast forward and he's now with someone, his gf is lovely and they're a great couple.. During the shitty times I had with DP, including some break ups, I felt incredibly torn. I honestly think I'd have left him for this guy if the occasion had arised (we live quite far so meet ups are rare). I have admittedly had a few cries about it in the past.
Regardless, I'm happy he's in my life even if it will always be friends.

Thankfully no.

My DH is 'the one'.

My OTGA rang me completely out of the blue last week.
We were together about 7 years ago but his alcoholism made me walk away.
He is the most beautiful man I've ever known.
It's sad but it wasn't meant to be.

Someone I went out with briefly when I was 20 and he was 31 - didn't work out due to being at different life stages and wanting different things, but over 20 years later, even though we might not speak for sometimes years at a time (the longest gap being six years), he's still the one friend I can talk about literally anything to. We're both married to other people and although my DH doesn't want to get to know him, he doesn't mind me meeting him for a pint and a catch-up when I'm at that end of the country, which happens once every couple of years, and it's really nice to have that connection still.

My first love and I were together from 17 to 20. I was immature and treated him badly. (kept breaking up with him then changing my mind) I broke his heart. He moved abroad to get away from me and have a fresh start. He married the year afterwards.

We are friends on Facebook and stay in touch. There will always be something there for both of us. We joke and say we'll retire together to a beach somewhere.He sends messages saying 'just 38 years until we move to a golfing community in Florida'. I do think on some level, we would both like to be together one day.

Yes my one that got away was a good friend in school, then as I was leaving (year older) had one afternoon out together, finished with a kiss and he wanted to start something more but I chickened out. Regret that in many ways partly because I think we'd have been great together and partly because if I'd chosen that path I would also have chosen a different career too (was hovering between two choices).

I fell in love at first sight with a man. We dated for two years. But it was deeply tempestuous and difficult for both of us. We both suffered badly with jealousy and possessiveness. In the end, we split and shortly after, got married to someone else and had a child. My ex husband and I got on very well. But the passion was missing and I'm afraid to say that I cheated on him with the OTGA. I was found out in very short order because I was unable to hide my feelings. The OTGA and I dated for about a year and my husband and I separated. Unfortunately, we still found the experience of being together very painful. We loved each other too deeply. It was destructive. We made the mutual decision to move on and try to find happiness elsewhere. It's been five years since then and we are both now with other partners. But I know there's someone out there who loves every corner of my being. And I love him still more than I can say. I wonder a lot if I've done the right thing. But I'm afraid to go back to him.

Not so much the one that got away, but the one that never was. We knew each other for years and years and both felt the same about each other, but somehow things never quite worked out and we never did get together. He moved away and we gradually lost contact.

However, had I have got together with him, I would never have met my lovely DH and had my lovely DC, so maybe it was the universe telling me something!

@Tigercub50 did you meet him at work

No - mine didn’t get away (married him)

I was told a couple of years ago that I was someone's OTGA. He contacted me completely out of the blue to tell me this (despite knowing I'm happily married with children). I actually felt a bit guilty as we were together for just a few months and I didn't really think that much of him, when we broke up I was sad for about a day then moved on and never gave him a second thought. To say I was shocked was an understatement!

We were together from 17-21, ultimately it didn’t work because we were too young. Twenty years later we now live in the same town! Both divorced and have children. We have been dating (not involving the children obviously) since Easter and he was and is the love of my life.
Never been happier and I’m glad we had the time apart. We have both changed for the better and appreciate each other much more.

For years I thought it was the guy who broke my heart at 18. He left me suddenly for a girl whose parents owned a pub, Typical! Then, years later out of the blue he started seeing a friend of mine. I realised then he was a moody arse and I'd dodged a massive bullet.

Yup. There was one I adored when I was 19-20. I felt he was out of my league. So good-looking, so cool, so profound and unfathomable. 🙄😆

We dated for three months, and then he realised he wasn’t that into me (which had been obvious to me for quite some weeks, not sure why it took him so long to tell me 😬)

Anyhoo, I intermittently pined for him for years. He’d pop up in my dreams from time to time, or I’d do a double-take if I saw someone who looked like him.

Got over it eventually, thankfully, and then he friend requested me fairly recently on FB.

The years have not been kind. 😬

I’ve got one that got away and every time I think about him I want to punch him in the face for being a miserable dickhead and wished I hadn’t wasted my time or energy. I stalk him on LinkedIn

Yes, a guy I was at uni with. I had really bad confidence issues ab didn’t believe that he could evervfancy me. We kissed a number of times but in ever had the guts to pursue it. He OBVIOUSLY liked me and we were kind of in love for a good few years. Looking back I’ve no idea why I didn’t just go for it. He is with someone else and so am I. Wierdly our new partners look like me and him! Always go for the same type I guess.
I often think about what might have been but it isn’t real. What I have with my husband is real. Here and now. However, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still massively attracted to my old flame. Oddly both of us have just had babies and it feels really odd thinking I could have had his baby...