Your ''one that got away''

[LolaPickle]

Does anyone else have a ''one that got away'' - in terms of EX's?

One that pops in to your mind from time to time, but you don't keep in contact with?

It's interesting how common this is and how much of a recurring theme there is - intense, dramatic connections which were ultimately unsustainable. I have my own like that: I was in my early 20s, he was a few years younger. We had an amazing year together full of ups and downs but the downs were just awful and I ended up dumping him. We got in touch after a year of no contact and it didn't work out again, still the same issues as before.

I'm now married to a man who is so much better for me in every way. But I still dream about my ex sometimes and wish we could be friends but I think it's for the best that we're not. It hurts, though. It still does.

I think I met mine recently, through work. We spent six months posted to the same location and I’ve never met anyone I had such a connection with.

We are both married with children and I do love my husband but our marriage is very difficult and I think in a way we both settled for something easy. We are a fantastic team with a good life but I’m not sure there was ever a spark. My DH would agree.

Anyway nothing happened with the other chap, although it could have. I can admit on here that I fell head over heels for him and I know he felt the same. I haven’t seen him in about six months and haven’t dared exchange more than the odd text although I think about him constantly. I haven’t admitted this to anyone in RL. I am an awful person and the guilt eats at me every day.

Me and my TOTGA had a superficial but firy relationship when I was 24 and he was 18. Kept in touch periodically ever since. I would have taken it further, but didn't get a chance for various reasons. 12 years on, after my divorce, I found OH and never thought about OTGA anymore. I even rebuffed his attempts to reconnect once again. That's how I knew I really loved OH, the way I never loved xDH.

Ooh this is a good thread OP. I often think about my uni boyfriend and whether he was the OTGA. We were so young and so in love but like Pp said - intense, dramatic and ultimately unsustainable. We fought like you wouldn’t believe!

We also travelled Europe one summer and did all these cliche things like eating snails by the Eiffel Tower and me riding on the back of his moped along the coast.

I look back fondly (rose tinted specs) but I’m now with my DP whose not intense or dramatic and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Although I do sometimes wonder what uni boyfriend is up to and whether if we had met 10 years later it could have worked out!

Met him at work when I was 16, he was my pretty much my first everything, I worshipped the ground he walked on. He left me after around 2 years of on/off relationship, went on to go in the army and we had little contact maybe once every couple of years over Facebook. I was absolutely devestated bit he hadnt really treat me that well during the 2 years (typical teenager boy!). I got into a long term relationship and he tried many a time to get back with me over messages but I was happy in my relationship at those times. Fast forward 8 years and I was going through an awful break up with said partner, I bumped into ex very randomly in a pub one night (I hadn't been in said pub for years...) and spent the night with him, we haven't had a night apart since. We are engaged to be married early next year, are expecting our first child in January and live in a lovely house and have the most brilliant life together, he has a child from a previous relationship and we get on really well and have so much fun together. Writing all that has made me teary, from being in such an unhappy relationship to this is amazing and I can't believe we have found our way back to each other. (Sorry that was very emotional and cheesy, I'll play the pregnancy card tonight )

Luckily I've only had awful relationships before dp. I don't know what it's like to have an ex you can think fondly of.

Met in 1985 and after a couple of false starts over the intervening period, we are finally together this year!
This time its for good.

It was on holiday on the Lake District. He was Australian and worked in a pub and I was on holiday.
When our eyes met it was like a lightning bolt. We saw each other as much as we could that week. I lost my virginity by a lake surrounded by beautiful hills.
On our last night he brought a music player and we danced in a field and laughed, cried and and made love.

We knew it couldn’t last though as he was going back to start uni and I was about to start uni so we decided to remember what we had and part. One of the songs playing while we danced was Westlife Queen of my Heart and it was like the words were made for us.
“So how to I say, do I say goodbye”
“We both have our dreams, we both want fly”
“So let’s take tonight to carry us through the lonely times”
“I’ll always look back as I walk away”
“This memory will last for eternity”
He gave me a number but as I walked away I let it go in a stream. Not sure why but I felt I had to do this and get back to reality.
I am now happily married but I often wonder about him and look back with a smile

Reunited with my OTGA after 25 years ....,
Life takes some interesting turns ....

Yes. We were very on/off but I always thought we would end up together. Still life takes its own path and I wouldn't have met my lovely dh if that had happened. I still see him around - there is always a fleeting 'what if?' but it is only fleeting

Mine is one from school. Things and other partners got in the way. We met when I was in between relationships and we kissed on a night out. It. Was. Amazing. But he was with someone else - I didn't know. Fast forward and we've started chatting lately. I'm happily married and he's single. But didn't tell me he was single (not that it matters) I'd like to stay in touch with him as I've known him for 20 years. We both tell each other that we are each other's OTGA. I'd never do anything. I love my husband too much. But he's a nice guy and the thought of us is a lot more romantic than what it probably would have been if we were actually together.

I always think things happen for a reason though.

One who chased me (in a nice, not #MeToo-y way) when we are at uni.

We had a brief fling, but he was much more into me than I him, and we ended up as friends.

We keep in touch on FB, and he's just been nominated for a BAFTA for one of his amazing wildlife docs.

Current OH struggles with the fact that the floor and the laundry basket are Different Entities.

Ah, well. Que sera.

Yes and I made the mistake recently of looking him up on FB and seeing a pic of him looking better than ever with his sweet little family.

Right now I feel that it's my ex boyfriend... but he's not the one who got away as much as 'the one who decided to go' when I moved away. Still hopeful for us some day but we are both dating other people

We were both married. Met, had a passionate, deep and intense affair. I got cold feet, ended it. Three months went by and he contacted me again, said he couldn't handle the thought of never seeing me again. So we started talking. And we made plans to be together. Then he went cold on me. I didn't get it. I was hurt. I left my husband, moved on and then I got a txt one day. He went cold on me because he found out he had a brain tumour and didn't have long to live. I am incredibly happy now but yes, I do think about him. Whenever I hear Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams" I think of him.

*he's just been nominated for a BAFTA for one of his amazing wildlife docs.

Current OH struggles with the fact that the floor and the laundry basket are Different Entities.*

The two are not mutually exclusive!

He didn’t get away as he was never mine 😥 but I can safely say I have never been so affected by a man before or since. There was a huge connection & we both knew that if we had been single, there was the potential for something incredible. ( I have to add that my marriage was not good when I met this guy & if it was to happen now I don’t think it would be the same, despite the fact that he was sex on a stick & a really lovely person to boot)

Sort of like this except that we were both single at the time. Unfortunately we were also competing to see who was the biggest commitment phobe. Reckon I won that one as I'm still single. Not sure about him as he's stopped answering my messages recently I know he wanted to settle and have a family. I never did.

I loved him then. I love him still. If he wants it, and I have it, it's his without a doubt. With one exception ..... I will not get into a conventional relationship with him. I'd do anything for love .... but I won't do that.

Wow. Brought a tear to my eye just remembering. I may not want to settle but I am capable of love

F**k it; think I need a cigarette.

I had one who nearly got away for good because he took an overdose when I told he he was being too full-on. He survived, but I never saw him again because that would have been one messed-up relationship.

My ex fiance is my OTGA, although thinking about it maybe it only feels like that because of how it ended.

He was older then me, Friends first and always joked we’d get married if I wasn’t by the time I was 30, I was in a relationship with a mutual friend and he ended up moving to his country of birth to get away from that (told me at the time it was for a better job, was utterly heartbroken when he left) ended my relationship after he came back to visit and we started a long distance thing, we got engaged and life was good he then decided he didn’t want to come back home when we got married and my life was here including all family and it wasn’t a move that I could make despite a few months of trying it.

Relationship became rocky due to this but the connection was intense, one of his old friends went to visit whilst I was back home and they ended up having an affair and I ended the relationship and cancelled our booked and paid for wedding.

We’d been such good friends before we got together (and during) that I still miss him today even tho we’re 9 years on and this has brought a slight tear to my eye however if I saw him today I wouldn’t know how to react I’ve seen him once about 5 months after we split when he came over and it was awful I so wanted his love but also that I didn’t. Limited text and email contact since then which has trailed off to nothing in the years since I’ve been with DP.

Now very happy with DP, life is totally different to how it was meant to be but I think truely happier as otga and I prob sky would’ve made each other miserable in time.

My OTGA - I met him when I was in my 20s

Amazing connection, absolutely sex on a stick, a real exciting guy... literally everything I could have dreamed of in a man. A real dream boat in my eyes. He was up and coming in his career at the time, and the higher he progressed, the more he travelled, and eventually he ended up being out of the country more than he was here.

Unfortunately, this proved to be our downfall, as I was unable to get overly involved in the travelling aspect due to family commitments

Eventually, we called it a day. I have internet stalked occasionally, since. His career took off amazingly he is publicly pretty well known so there are a lot of news articles about him on a regular basis

On a personal level, I haven't spoken to him in years, although I know he is now married and lives abroad

I am married now to a lovely guy (a lovely guy who is no where near as exciting) who is more on my level ... but I do occasionally wander what my life would have been like if things had worked out with the OTGA