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Original poster

Your ''one that got away''

120 replies

LolaPickle · 01/10/2018 23:24

Does anyone else have a ''one that got away'' - in terms of EX's?

One that pops in to your mind from time to time, but you don't keep in contact with?

OP posts:
Limpshade · 02/10/2018 02:18

Mine was a cad who broke my heart unexpectedly walked out on me during a date after a very intensive six months, he went to the loo and never came back but I am still so, so interested to know where he is now and what he's been up to no good since I last saw him 13 years ago. I am very happily married now but curiosity gets the better of me sometimes. Unfortunately he considered himself above all social media even then so googling has given me no answers!

Havabiscuit · 02/10/2018 03:18

His poor wife
Yes I agree dahlia. Not my finest hour.
If there’s a moral it’s that these things are best left in the past as fond “might have been” fantasies

Hamsterwheelz · 02/10/2018 03:34

I obsessed for years over a man with whom I had an unsuccessful relationship in my younger years.

I was madly in love with him. He was immature and selfish.

I don't think he "got away" per se, but I was very sad when it ended. He ghosted me, basically.

I am married now and so is he. He seems v happy.

One thing that has occurred to me is that my obsession may been an indicator of the bipolar disorder I was later diagnosed with.

My obsession / infatuation was not normal or healthy. I literally thought about him obsessively for years and years. When we were together, I would feel very high and when he was unkind to me, the despair I felt was overwhelming.

StarfishSandwich · 02/10/2018 03:53

He’s snoring next to me whilst I feed our son.

We tried a million times to make ‘us’ work and finally decided to call it off for good as we just weren’t well matched and spent most of our time screaming at each other. We both moved on (or tried to) but months later he saw a photo of me with a guy I’d been seeing and realised we’d made a horrible mistake.

Our relationship is so completely different now. We’re like completely different people.

CircleofWillis · 02/10/2018 03:59

No but I think I might be someone else’s OTGA. We are Facebook friends and chat online on a regular basis but have not seen each other in over 20 years. He never married and has not had a serious relationship since we broke up when I left to study a postgraduate course. He always comments wistfully on pictures of my daughter and me but never of if my husband is in the photos. I feel quite bad sometimes and wonder if we should stop communicating. But then I think I am probably just imagining something that isn’t there.

cueominousmusic · 02/10/2018 04:15

@stellabird: That's so lovely. Warms my mushy romantic's heart.

sofato5miles · 02/10/2018 04:28

Sadly, mine was a married man that I worked with. I still haven't met anyone that I talked and laughed with so easily. Once I realised I was falling head over heels, I resigned and left the country. We never touched or kissed, and he only got me to tell him as I left.

He called to say goodbye while I was on the way to the airport and we spoke the entire journey. Just writing that and remembering that call 20 years later has brought tears to eyes.

I never spoke to him again.

MaryShelley1818 · 02/10/2018 04:30

My OTGA was my childhood sweetheart...we were together at school and then again in our early 20’s. Absolutely obsessed and infatuated with each other and not in a good way! Far too intense.

I got married and he settled into a long term relationship. My marriage fizzled out very amicably and his relationship ended and we met up (I contacted him on FB to ask how he was). This was about 15yrs since we’d last spoken.
We got together the first night we met, rented somewhere after a couple of months, then bought our lovely home, had our beautiful baby boy (first and only child for both of us) in December at 39 and 41, and get married 2 months today! All in just over 2yrs! It’s definitely been a whirlwind but a very happy one.
We’re currently lying in a hotel room in Majorca on our first family holiday with our lovely little squishy DS between us snoring away.
Still can’t believe it’s real most of the time.

AltheaorDonna · 02/10/2018 05:20

Oh mine was gorgeous and we had a real connection. But we were in our first year at Uni and the timing was terrible. We saw each other on and of for years and always thought we would probably end up together, until we had a huge argument about something stupid and he then dropped out, and I never saw him again, as I moved countries after graduating.

I had a facebook stalk a few years ago and found out that he is now an evangelical Christian! Nothing wrong with that, but I've always been a die hard atheist, so it would never have worked! My husband is a better match for me anyway.

tombstoneteeth · 02/10/2018 06:32

Aged 21, 1970s, nice Catholic girl, virgin till marriage etc etc. Met son of old family friend - late 30s, married, young family, so obviously not for me. But oh! Had he but crooked one finger in my direction, I would have dropped my knickers behind the barn in a heartbeat, all my crossed-legged Catholic training forgotten in an instant.The scent of him was overwhelming, i was literally melting with desire, shaking and wobbly knees - yes, yes...Barbara Cartland et al but the experience was totally overwhelming I have never forgotten it, almost 50 years on.

Rtmhwales · 02/10/2018 06:33

My husband. Or soon to be ex husband.
Just virtually just woke up one day and decided marriage wasn’t for him and he was moving back to live with his parents forever. Just erased me and unborn DS from his life. I know I should move on but I keep looking at him as the one that just slipped through my fingers, and suspect I will for many years.

UserMillionBillion · 02/10/2018 06:38

I don't really have one. I always end up feeling that I am the one that got away!

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 02/10/2018 06:59

My teenage boyfriend. We split up at 21 for very good reasons; I was mildly rebellious but he was going too far off the rails. We got back in touch via Facebook about 10 years later. He has found his way back onto the rails, is married to a lady who seems lovely and has a very successful career which he loves and is really happy. We meet for the occasional coffee or at mutual friends' parties once in a blue moon. His wife doesn't know but my DH does. Nothing would ever happen, but there's a real sense of nostalgic longing on both sides. I've never had a connection like that with anyone else, but because of all the crap that went on when we were breaking up, I wouldn't risk trusting him again.

StrongerThanIThought76 · 02/10/2018 07:05

I dreamt about my OTGA last night.

He moved on, now married, while I'm still waiting to be swept off my feet..

In daylight though, I can give my head a wobble and remember what a cocklodging mummys boy he was. (And still is, if social media is anything to go by)

OhTheRoses · 02/10/2018 07:12

I was the OTGA. Had one that got away. Long story, glamorous older man. Met him unexpectedly about 20 years later and was v grateful he had got away.

thelikelylass · 02/10/2018 07:33

The headiness of being with that one man, it was so passionate. We were youngish but constantly pulling in different directions. I have been round the block many times since that (26 years ago) but he will always be the one.
The thing is, when we got together he had travelled and lived etc, I was just starting. I then did my travelling/living and now so many years later I know we would be so in sync but he is married and lives in a different part of the country. I have my own family and whilst we have never seen each other in many years I know I will see him again. He loved me so much and I let him go, I didn't want to settle.

AuntBeastie · 02/10/2018 07:36

When my ex boyfriend broke up with me I thought he would be the one that got away - I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t see that we were made for each other. When I later met my now-husband I very quickly realised all of the reasons why I was lucky my ex had got away (only giving me one orgasm in 11 months, showing no interest in my interests, forgetting my birthday, refusing to introduce me to friends or family, never texting back, the fact that I pretended to be into lots of boring stuff to impress him, me basically pretending to be someone I wasn’t for the whole relationship).

Now blissfully happy with the one who I really think must have been made specifically for me Grin

cricketmum84 · 02/10/2018 07:36

Yes. Although nothing ever happened between us. I was 19, single and pregnant and having trouble from the baby's dad. He was a few years older, knew him from school. We grew very close but he had a girlfriend. Never even a kiss but I loved him so completely and never told him.
We lost touch after I had the baby and I met someone else and now married. I still think about him sometimes but would never tell my husband.

ilooovechristmas · 02/10/2018 07:41

My DH 'got away' when I was 16, when he resurfaced 2 years later I didn't leave him alone for over a year (he was in a bad place) now we have a DD GrinWink

Gnomesofthegalaxy · 02/10/2018 08:09

He didn’t get away as he was never mine 😥 but I can safely say I have never been so affected by a man before or since. There was a huge connection & we both knew that if we had been single, there was the potential for something incredible. ( I have to add that my marriage was not good when I met this guy & if it was to happen now I don’t think it would be the same, despite the fact that he was sex on a stick & a really lovely person to boot).

I could have written this myself. I've not seen him in over 10 years and am with someone else now who I love, but it took a long time to get to this stage.

I still think about him fondly and hope he's happy but would never try and find him or anything.

I chose to walk away and I know it was for the best as it was a complicated situation but God it hurt. On the plus side it was the catalyst for me finally escaping a bad relationship. I do believe things happen for a reason and it probably wouldn't have worked as we gave quite different lives. Bizarrely despite both still living and working in the same area I've never once bumped into him.

I've honestly never felt another connection like it though

HazelBite · 02/10/2018 08:09

45 years ago I was dumped because his parents found out (via his sister who he confided in) that the girl he was seeing was married , although separated, and he was the heir apparent to the family business.

I found out, via a mutual friend, that his excuse that he had met someone else, was untrue, and his parents had told him that he had to give me up and when he did they bought him a brand new sports car.
I was hurt that he had lied and if he had told me the truth I would have understood (this was the 70's)

Incidentally DH's parents disaproved of me because I had been married before but Dh took no heed and married me anyway, and didn't care that his parents didn't attend the wedding.
40 odd years on I am still happily married to DH , TOTGA, has been divorced twice.

Hamsterwheelz · 02/10/2018 08:43

Actually, I was TOTGA once.

An older man who dumped me whilst I was in hospital.

I was utterly broken.

In time, I realised I'd had a lucky escape. He was a bit odd. Wouldn't let me have a bath when I stayed with him - he didn't like other people using the bath, apparently.

He also had a weird fixation on his mother.

Years later, happily married and a mother, I found him on FB.

He was bitter and remorseful. He made some nasty comments about the fact I had "obviously married the right man", but did apologise for his treatment of me.

Lucky escape.

ShatnersWig · 02/10/2018 08:45

Mine died when we were 21.

ShotsFired · 02/10/2018 08:52

Yes. My ex. I miss him so badly even though I am getting over him now (if that makes sense), because he "got" me and accepted me.

Even if ultimately my "me-ness" was what drove us apart.

It's absolutely destroyed my ability to trust again.

BootsMagoots · 02/10/2018 08:57

I met somebody in school. He was so shy, clever and gorgeous and somehow liked me too so we were together for a while. His shyness was crippling though; he had a bad home life and he couldn't quite communicate with me so well. We split up and both left for university but I loved him so much. We got back together about 3 years later and are now happily married.