I love Red Dwarf. My favourite is the Binks to Enlightenment part. Do you know it?
11 Int. Starbug rear section.
A crew member from the holoship appears in an adjoining room. The
Dwarfers walk in to investigate.
BINKS: (Walking around the Starbug) Binks to Enlightenment. Have arrived
on the derelict. Confirm initial speculation: there is absolutely
nothing of any value or intrigue here. It's one of the old class-2
ship-to-surface vessels -- the very model, in fact, that was withdrawn
due to major flight design flaws. Crew: 3. (Passes along the crew
members, who are now standing in line) One series-4000 mechanoid --
almost burnt out. Give it maybe three years. Nothing of salvageable
value. Ah, Felis Sapiens -- bred from the domestic house cat and about
half as smart. No value in future study of this species. What have we
here? A human being, or a very close approximation. Chronological
age: mid-20s, physical age: 47. Grossly overweight, unnecessarily
ugly, otherwise would recommend it for the museum. Apart from that of
no value or interest.
While BINKS is ending his spiel, LISTER searches his pockets for a
cigarette packet. He draws one cigarette out as an aerial and begins
imitating BINKS.
LISTER: Lister to Red Dwarf. We have in our midst a complete smeg pot.
Brains in the anal region. Chin absent -- presumed missing. Genitalia
small and inoffensive. Of no value or interest.
BINKS: Binks to Enlightenment. Evidence of primitive humour. The human
has knowledge of irony, satire, and imitation. With patient tuition
could maybe master simple tasks.
LISTER: Lister to Red Dwarf. Displays evidence of spoiling for a rumble.
Seems unable to grasp simple threats. With careful pummelling, could
possibly be sucking tomorrow's lunch through a straw.
BINKS: Binks to Enlightenment. The human is under the delusion that he
is somehow able to bestow physical violence to a hologram.
LISTER: Lister to Red Dwarf. The intruder seems to be blissfully unaware
that we have a rather sturdy holowhip in the munitions cabinet. Unless
he wants his derriere minced like burger meat, he'd better be history
in two seconds flat!
LISTER eats the cigarette, quickly removes his jacket, hat, and
waistcoat, and assumes a boxing stance.
BINKS: Binks to Enlightenment. Re-con mission complete, transmit. With
speed, Enlightenment, quickly please!
BINKS disappears just as LISTER throws his first punch.