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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To march up to school and give the receptionist a price of my mind

143 replies

Numberonecook · 01/10/2018 13:04

Ok il try be breif but not drip feed. Background - Our local high school academy is huge. It has large gates round it that close at 8.30am. the primary school sits in the same grounds but there is no access to the academy through their gates. Dd1 goes to academy (year 7) and dd2 is at primary.

This morning at 8.35 I was taking DD2 to school. There was a young man stood at the entrance to the academy crying. I asked if he was ok? He explained his mum dropped him off late and the gates were closed. He’s only in year 7 and didn’t know they locked them. I explained the gates close at 8.30 and he would have to walk around to the main gate (the only way to this is to walk around the whole housing estate). He Burst into tears and said his mum would ‘kill him’. I asked him if he wanted to come with me and Dd2 inside the primary school so they could ring school and explain he was going to be late and not to tell him off. He refused. I didn’t have my phone. He didn’t have his. So I told him which way to go and he went.

When I got home I called the academy cursing myself for not catching the poor boys name. I felt awful for leaving him as I’d of wanted someone to help Dd1 if she was so upset but I couldn’t leave Dd2. I spoke to the receptionist and told her what happened. She laughed and said ‘yes the idiots just got here now’ I was gobsmacked and repeated he was very upset and I was worried. She just said thanks for calling and put the phone down!.

I was seriously annoyed. AIBU to take this further? DH said to leave it but I’d hate to think of staff treating Dd1 like this. I don’t know if the poor boy got told off? Should I go up and report the b**ch?

If you got to the end of this thanks lol

OP posts:
JuJu2017 · 03/10/2018 07:56

Please report her. This awful. I can’t help thinking that if it had been a girl in that situation she’d have been a bit more supportive and kind.

PeachyPeachTrees · 03/10/2018 10:51

His Mum dropped him off late. He is not stupid!

CasanovaFrankenstein · 03/10/2018 10:53

Totally inappropriate. He’s only been there a few weeks. I’d report!!

LilyMarie · 03/10/2018 11:05

The only idot in this situation is the receptionist who uses derogatory names to describe a student when on the phone to a member of the public... What was she thinking?

sleepylittlebunnies · 03/10/2018 11:33

Ah poor boy, that situation would have really upset me as a year 7 and DS with SEN a new year 7 now would be panicking. I hope the poor boy wasn’t within earshot of her nasty comment when he arrived.

I would complain to the head/head of pastoral care. Do they send information out to parents at the start of the school year informing them that the gate will be locked at 08.30 and to drop off at the main gate if late?

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 03/10/2018 11:52

I think it rather depends on the tone the receptionist used. Could have been derogatory, or affectionate

Teacher22 · 03/10/2018 16:20

Receptionist:- lowly pay and status; massive de facto power as gatekeepers to actual professionals. Fight, fight and fight again for the little people (and their children) who are paying the wages of these dragons through their taxes!

molington · 03/10/2018 17:22

Please report this in writing.
A similar thing happened to me several years ago when I found a very distressed child outside our local (then) comp. I persuaded him to let me accompany him inside, as he was someone who I had know since early childhood.
The response from reception absolutely appalled me (heavy sighing and disinterest).
I called his mum, who was about to set off for work, and she went straight round there. After a very long battle with the authorities she was eventually able to secure a place at a special school that met his needs.

MauraIsles · 03/10/2018 18:16

I’m aghast at the posters who think this is ok because she was ‘probably joking’ and didn’t call him an idiot to his face - using that language when referring to a Child is bang out of order. Definitely report OP, the receptionist was unprofessional and nasty to say what she did.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 03/10/2018 18:36

Yes the receptionist was a bit silly to refer to a pupil as an idiot to another parent but its not the end of the world.

I would be emailing the head with safeguarding concerns about the boys mother. She brought him in late, dropped him off at the wrong entrance and her son is so scared of her he was in tears about what she would do to him. That is not normal.

Fresta · 03/10/2018 22:29

An 11 year old should be able to find their way from the side entrance to the main entrance of their school; we're a month into the school year now after all. Really? Safegaurding because mum dropped a secondary school child off at the wrong gate? Most children that age will have made their own way to school on the bus!

Walkingdeadfangirl · 03/10/2018 22:38

Fresta Safeguarding, because the child is terrified of the mother. Why do you think that would be?

Elephantscantfly · 03/10/2018 22:43

@teacher22, these receptionists give first aid and care to our children, they are often massively overworked and under appreciated at times, they often know more about the children and their needs than some of the teachers, they are abused by unreasonable parents and often the messengers for teachers that think they are too important to deal with the “little” things, it was maybe a flippant comment or a teacher who happened to be in reception and answer the call. Speak to the school Numberonecook, but please don’t jump to conclusions everyone, Y7 students have made the big jump from primary to high school, it’s a big adjustment for some parents too, start of school day is a busy time for the office and we weren’t there.....

Fresta · 04/10/2018 07:29

Who says he's terrified of his mother? A kid saying my "my mum'll kill me'", doesn't mean anything. I used to say that all the time and so do all the kids round here- it's a common phrase- not be taken literally- it means your mum will tell you off.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 04/10/2018 16:51

Who says he's terrified of his mother? A kid saying my "my mum'll kill me'" If its 'just' a phrase why would it be followed by a flood of tears?

Fresta · 04/10/2018 17:59

errr- because he's upset about being late for school and locked out?

Some people really do put 2 and 2 together and get 6!

Walkingdeadfangirl · 04/10/2018 20:50

But he didn't say he was late for school and burst into tears. He said my mum will kill me and burst into tears. Significant enough that maybe teachers should look into it and get to the bottom of it.

Numberonecook · 05/10/2018 11:14

The mother was litterally 5 mins late and school don’t make it clear that gate closes at 8.30. It’s concealed from the road as the entrance is next to the primary school up a long path. The mother wouldn’t of seen it was closed. The gate is also not visible from the reception area so they wouldn’t be able to see who was buzzed in if they had one. The school are struggling with finances as it is I can imagine it would be very expensive to fit a second buzzer to this gate. I’ve been told that entrance and the entrance to the other building are locked at 8.30 as a safeguarding procedure. All children must go to main entrance after 8.30.

He was most likely upset as he didn’t know what to do and didn’t want to be late. I didn’t for one second believe his mother would actually kill him lol.

I did email the head teacher and I got a call back. He was very apologetic (especially when he found out I had a child in school Grin) and assured me the matter would be felt with. I happy with this.

I’ve since spoken to another receptionist about some forms my daughter had and she was very pleasant so not all of them are as rude lol.

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