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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To march up to school and give the receptionist a price of my mind

143 replies

Numberonecook · 01/10/2018 13:04

Ok il try be breif but not drip feed. Background - Our local high school academy is huge. It has large gates round it that close at 8.30am. the primary school sits in the same grounds but there is no access to the academy through their gates. Dd1 goes to academy (year 7) and dd2 is at primary.

This morning at 8.35 I was taking DD2 to school. There was a young man stood at the entrance to the academy crying. I asked if he was ok? He explained his mum dropped him off late and the gates were closed. He’s only in year 7 and didn’t know they locked them. I explained the gates close at 8.30 and he would have to walk around to the main gate (the only way to this is to walk around the whole housing estate). He Burst into tears and said his mum would ‘kill him’. I asked him if he wanted to come with me and Dd2 inside the primary school so they could ring school and explain he was going to be late and not to tell him off. He refused. I didn’t have my phone. He didn’t have his. So I told him which way to go and he went.

When I got home I called the academy cursing myself for not catching the poor boys name. I felt awful for leaving him as I’d of wanted someone to help Dd1 if she was so upset but I couldn’t leave Dd2. I spoke to the receptionist and told her what happened. She laughed and said ‘yes the idiots just got here now’ I was gobsmacked and repeated he was very upset and I was worried. She just said thanks for calling and put the phone down!.

I was seriously annoyed. AIBU to take this further? DH said to leave it but I’d hate to think of staff treating Dd1 like this. I don’t know if the poor boy got told off? Should I go up and report the b**ch?

If you got to the end of this thanks lol

OP posts:
pacer142 · 02/10/2018 08:39

Will posters stop calling this woman a bitch. You are chastising her for calling a child an idiot - you are just as bad.

No, the receptionist was paid to do her job in a professional manner and was completely unprofessional when talking to a parent, i.e. her job! People on here aren't posting in a professional capacity. There's a massive difference.

AtomicSquirrel · 02/10/2018 17:40

Bless you for trying to help him; no one likes seeing a child upset. If it was me, I'd definitely be reporting her. I really hope the young lad didn't overhear her saying that about him. What an utter cow!

Strongmummy · 02/10/2018 17:53

Not a nice way to refer to a child , but to “go down to the school to give the receptionist a piece of your mind “ would be ott and silly. Maybe email the head calmly and politely

Aragog · 02/10/2018 18:05

How unpleasant. If she is like that to a concerned adult phoning up, what on earth is she like to the children direct.

I would make a written complaint.

I can't imagine the school management being impressed with her customer service skills this morning.

BeckyBec · 02/10/2018 18:10

Write a mail to the head but don’t expect it to go anywhere. The fact it’s on record for reference against any other instances is the best you can expect.
Really awful thing to do!!

MrsWombat · 02/10/2018 18:13

As a school admin support officer (a nice one who hasn't had the doctors receptionist training yet Hmm ) you should definitely email the head teacher. Firstly because that was not an appropriate way for a member of staff to talk about a pupil, and secondly because they need to remind their pupils of the late procedure for safeguarding reasons. They shouldn't be standing outside a locked gate with no way in. Thank you foe helping this poor child.

BlueJava · 02/10/2018 18:19

Absolutely report her, that is no way to refer to anyone let alone a child at the school where she works. I would ask to speak to the head master, however don't go marching in, you'll just look foolish and undo your case.

Anewchapter · 02/10/2018 18:19

Whilst I don’t condone the receptionist’s language, from an Ofsted/safeguarding point of view the school have to make the perimeter secure therefore safeguarding the students already on site. The fact is the student arrived late. It seems the main fault lies with the parent dropping the poor boy off too late to make it through the side gate and should have dropped him to the main one regardless of whether it was out of their way or not. To those that suggest the side gate should be manned by a member of staff or have intercom that, of course, would be ideal. But with most schools facing huge financial difficulties it’s probably not an option.

WindDoesNotBreakTheBendyTree · 02/10/2018 18:35

Poor kid
I hope he didn't get detention as well
I'd let it pass this time but I would mentally log it.

vickster35 · 02/10/2018 18:36

I think there is a special training school for school receptionists. They are all thoroughly unpleasant.

Typical bash the receptionist. School receptionists are the face of the school and spend a lot of time being verbally bashed by parents claiming that their angels are angels and we the school are out to get them!!
Perhaps there is more to this story - the boy is always late - or maybe the receptionist had already received an ear bashing !

All that being said She shouldn’t have called him an idiot, but I can’t believe there is no other way in, how do kids come and go for appointments??

Scarydinosaurs · 02/10/2018 18:37

Shock twist: his mum is the receptionist!

Seriously- horrid thing to say about a child.

tolerable · 02/10/2018 18:42

i wouldnt presume she was joking. I wouldnt barge in all guns blazing either. Either make an appointment with head-or write to him .what a bitch x

Billben · 02/10/2018 18:53

Do not let it pass. What a horrible thing to say about a child. I would email the HT and I would expect to hear back from them as well about the matter.

dorisdog · 02/10/2018 18:54

Yep. I say complain. Horrible way to refer to a child.

Billben · 02/10/2018 19:00

One thing no-one has mentioned. Why didn't his parent make sure he got to school before 8:30am?

Seriously? Nobody has mentioned it because it has no relevance to the fact that the receptionist called him an idiot. We are not debating why parents can’t get their children to school on time here if you haven’t noticed.

MadameButterface · 02/10/2018 19:02

"Why didn't his parent make sure he got to school before 8:30am?"

lol there's always one isn't there. maybe someone had blocked her car in, maybe she had a flat battery, maybe she got in the car and started it and realised it was blue bin day so had to get back out again and dick about with the bins. who knows? life happens, sometimes people run late. only on mn is this a cardinal sin on a par with name calling an upset child.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/10/2018 19:02

In fairness to Busybusybust a large proportion of the school receptionists I've come across have been pretty rude

But yes OP, I agree that is a horrible way to speak about an upset child. I hope his day improved poor lad

simiisme · 02/10/2018 19:03

I think there is a special training school for school receptionists. They are all thoroughly unpleasant
Really Busybusybust
Ours is patience personified; a kind and professional lady. Obviously the only one in the UK - according to you.

PhilomenaButterfly · 02/10/2018 19:07

What a bitch. DD's in year 6, is this attitude what she's got to look forward to?

SomeKnobend · 02/10/2018 19:10

Could she have been doing the teenage equivalent of when you laugh and say "weeeee" when a toddler falls over and looks to you for how to react? Maybe she saw him half way to tears, worrying about being late, and wanted to guide him towards seeing it as a silly, funny mistake.

MaisyPops · 02/10/2018 19:13

Speak to the school about the receptionist and what she said. Tone of voice is everything but really common sense and basic professionalism says you should only have a joke once you've built a relationship with someone and have a mutual understanding on what is ok.

It seems the main fault lies with the parent dropping the poor boy off too late to make it through the side gate and should have dropped him to the main one regardless of whether it was out of their way or not.
Overall this is key.
The school have to secure the site as part of safeguarding.
The PARENT should have dropped their child off at the correct entrance given they were the one bringing their child late to school.
Much as it would be lovely to have staff on every entrance to site just in case people turn up late, they have a procedure (go to main entrance). If a parent opts not to do that then it's not the school's fault.

Carrrotsandcauliflower · 02/10/2018 19:15

I’d report it. That’s completely out of line. If that boy referred to the receptionist as an idiot I’m sure he would be in all sorts of trouble. Plus like you say who else is she talking to like that? I’d put it in writing too.

Brambleboo · 02/10/2018 19:22

I used to work on a school reception and would never have dreamed of laughing at such a situation, let alone calling any of the kids names like that. How uncaring and unprofessional of her.

I think I'd be inclined to report it to the office manager or the head or whoever would be in charge of this woman.

LuluJakey1 · 02/10/2018 19:42

Yes YABU to march up to school and give the receptionist a price of my mind as you put it.

You are not unreasonable to feel what she said was inappropriate or that it was hard for the Y7 student to have to go all the way round. However, once school starts they have a duty of care to sageguard the school site and that is why gates are locked then, so strangers or angry people can not just walk onto the site. You are not unreasonable even to report her, calmly, to the school but you would be unreasonable to storm up and give her a piece of your mind.
Storming up to schools to give anyone a piece of your mind is never appropriate or the best way to deal with anything. It is not your business to tell a receptionist off about how she does her job, it's her line manager's. Parents who storm up to schools telling staff off quickly gain a reputation for having poor self-control and for being bullies.

Fresta · 02/10/2018 19:54

I'm presuming she didn't call the child an idiot to his face, and I seriously doubt she meant to use the phrase in a nasty way to you either- it sounds like something one says in an affectionate way.

Some people need to get a perspective on things and chill the fuck out! A sense of humour might help!

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