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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To march up to school and give the receptionist a price of my mind

143 replies

Numberonecook · 01/10/2018 13:04

Ok il try be breif but not drip feed. Background - Our local high school academy is huge. It has large gates round it that close at 8.30am. the primary school sits in the same grounds but there is no access to the academy through their gates. Dd1 goes to academy (year 7) and dd2 is at primary.

This morning at 8.35 I was taking DD2 to school. There was a young man stood at the entrance to the academy crying. I asked if he was ok? He explained his mum dropped him off late and the gates were closed. He’s only in year 7 and didn’t know they locked them. I explained the gates close at 8.30 and he would have to walk around to the main gate (the only way to this is to walk around the whole housing estate). He Burst into tears and said his mum would ‘kill him’. I asked him if he wanted to come with me and Dd2 inside the primary school so they could ring school and explain he was going to be late and not to tell him off. He refused. I didn’t have my phone. He didn’t have his. So I told him which way to go and he went.

When I got home I called the academy cursing myself for not catching the poor boys name. I felt awful for leaving him as I’d of wanted someone to help Dd1 if she was so upset but I couldn’t leave Dd2. I spoke to the receptionist and told her what happened. She laughed and said ‘yes the idiots just got here now’ I was gobsmacked and repeated he was very upset and I was worried. She just said thanks for calling and put the phone down!.

I was seriously annoyed. AIBU to take this further? DH said to leave it but I’d hate to think of staff treating Dd1 like this. I don’t know if the poor boy got told off? Should I go up and report the b**ch?

If you got to the end of this thanks lol

OP posts:
sugarbum · 01/10/2018 15:25

I'm glad you're emailing the head. I wouldn't care if she was joking either. He's an 11 year old child who has been at secondary school for less than a month. Life is pretty tough for a lot of them right now (I'm taking this to heart, as I have one of those)
I really hope she was kinder to him in person. This is no way to speak to a concerned parent, whether or not they are a parent of the child in question. Its so unprofessional. I would also be fuming.

user838383 · 01/10/2018 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Defrack · 01/10/2018 15:33

Report definitely.

Just because we don't use physical phjishemtns doesn't mean kids can't be scared of consequences. For a little year 7, getting a detention or being shouted at for being late is scary. And the they will be scared of being told off by parents for getting a detention. So yes the kid could have been scared ifwhat would happen.

PlatypusPie · 01/10/2018 16:15

I would have taken that remark as a jokey/ semi affectionate throwaway confirmation that the child had arrived safely. I’m not sure how much more you expected, OP - the grateful thanks of all for your directions and ministrations ?

For all you know, this could be a regular occurrence for this child . You would look entirely pompous and self involved to go ‘marching up ‘ anywhere - it was a tiny anecdote whose time has passed.

RuLu · 01/10/2018 16:35

I would email, maybe find out who the head of year 7 is & email directly. Or check their website for senior staff email addresses & contact one of them. It's not acceptable to refer to a pupil like that.

saganorenscarandcoat · 01/10/2018 16:37

Complain definitely

GinandGingerBeer · 01/10/2018 16:44

She was bang out of order. What a mean thing to say. How sad Sad

StormTreader · 01/10/2018 16:45

Seems a bit off that he was late because his mum dropped him off late but ALSO that she would "kill him" for being late - seems like there was no way for the poor boy to win.

I'm surprised they have no staff near the gate to watch for late arrivals, especially if getting to the main gate is such a big walk - I wouldn't want to send some 11 year olds off on their own through unfamiliar streets with no way to get help.

Jaxhog · 01/10/2018 16:54

One thing no-one has mentioned. Why didn't his parent make sure he got to school before 8:30am?

Singingtherapy · 01/10/2018 16:57

I would have taken that remark as a jokey/ semi affectionate throwaway confirmation that the child had arrived safely. I’m not sure how much more you expected, OP

Exactly what I was thinking. I'm not minimising what happened. But equally I just can't get on board with a witch hunt. Seriously has no one else ever opened their mouth to make a jokey comment and immediately felt awful that it came out a bit offensive?

Losingthewill1 · 01/10/2018 16:59

No

Go to the school and file a complaint , I’m sure the parents would love to know of a basic receptionist calling there poor kid an idiot

RomanyRoots · 01/10/2018 17:02

You'd actually march Grin
Nah, leave it, the child is Y7, not aged 7.
Save your energy for all the times you'll need to march for your own child.

MarklahMarklah · 01/10/2018 17:04

That's no way for someone to talk about a pupil at the school at all. I wouldn't go in and shout at anyone but would definitely raise this with the head.

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 01/10/2018 17:22

I would inform the head that the point of contact and therefore public face of the school has talked to a parent about a pupil in this way, that I am distinctly unimpressed with her unprofessional manner and question her suitability for such a joband her iq. I would also question what else she says about and possibly to the pupils.

The receptionost also didn't know that you weren't a friend or relative, I'm assuming, so it wasn't very smart of her!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 01/10/2018 17:24

*receptionist. And a strike through fail, bloody phone!

PortiaCastis · 01/10/2018 17:31

Why isn't the gate manned for stragglers

viques · 01/10/2018 17:33

I think the thing to do would be to suggest that they make sure all new children , and their parents, know the procedures for late arrivals.

Neshoma · 01/10/2018 17:37

Will posters stop calling this woman a bitch. You are chastising her for calling a child an idiot - you are just as bad.

PortiaCastis · 01/10/2018 17:47

The school's crazy locking a child out surely he can't have been the only child to be late do they lock kids out every day? How weird!

MrMeSeeks · 01/10/2018 18:25

I think there is a special training school for school receptionists. They are all thoroughly unpleasant.
Ahh yes, because every receptionist in the world is awful Hmm

Northernparent68 · 01/10/2018 19:23

Op, you were very kind but it shows how stranger danger has done more harm than good.

Maelstrop · 01/10/2018 19:49

I don’t think all receptionists are awful, my school one seems lovely.

Emailing the Head is the way forward. PR is hugely important and this receptionist was unprofessional and rude. Little Year 7 boys can be very emotional, I had one who was so scared of being late to my lesson (he got lost) that he was almost hysterical. Obviously I just quietly showed him his seat and let him recover, no name calling. I did take the piss gently at his year 11 prom this year!

Aspenfrost · 01/10/2018 22:18

Honestly, some of you people.

steppemum · 02/10/2018 08:32

I feel very sorry for the boy, poor lad.

I also think it is really off to lock the gates and not have a buzzer/doorbell so the kids can get in - walk round and be 10 minutes later Hmm.
Once our gates are locked, you buzz reception and then have to go and sign in. Seems reasonable.

But can I just say, we have 2 school receptionists/secretaries in our primary school, and they are both bloody lovely, and take a lot of rubbish behaviour from parents, and remain calm and nice. Please don't make such sweeping statements

pacer142 · 02/10/2018 08:36

I think there is a special training school for school receptionists. They are all thoroughly unpleasant.

Yes, it's what the training school do to fill gaps when they've no GP receptionists to train!