To march up to school and give the receptionist a price of my mind

[Numberonecook]

Ok il try be breif but not drip feed. Background - Our local high school academy is huge. It has large gates round it that close at 8.30am. the primary school sits in the same grounds but there is no access to the academy through their gates. Dd1 goes to academy (year 7) and dd2 is at primary.

This morning at 8.35 I was taking DD2 to school. There was a young man stood at the entrance to the academy crying. I asked if he was ok? He explained his mum dropped him off late and the gates were closed. He’s only in year 7 and didn’t know they locked them. I explained the gates close at 8.30 and he would have to walk around to the main gate (the only way to this is to walk around the whole housing estate). He Burst into tears and said his mum would ‘kill him’. I asked him if he wanted to come with me and Dd2 inside the primary school so they could ring school and explain he was going to be late and not to tell him off. He refused. I didn’t have my phone. He didn’t have his. So I told him which way to go and he went.

When I got home I called the academy cursing myself for not catching the poor boys name. I felt awful for leaving him as I’d of wanted someone to help Dd1 if she was so upset but I couldn’t leave Dd2. I spoke to the receptionist and told her what happened. She laughed and said ‘yes the idiots just got here now’ I was gobsmacked and repeated he was very upset and I was worried. She just said thanks for calling and put the phone down!.

I was seriously annoyed. AIBU to take this further? DH said to leave it but I’d hate to think of staff treating Dd1 like this. I don’t know if the poor boy got told off? Should I go up and report the b**ch?

If you got to the end of this thanks lol

Not ideal but it rather depends on the tone of her voice. If she said it in a tutting and sighing kind of way then yes, she's being nasty.

If however, she was laughing in a yes, he's here safe and sound kind of way then I suspect she was trying to make what is perhaps a not very funny joke.

And really, are school children stressed and fearful nowadays compared to school children in the past.

In secondary school I was one of the first generation of children on which the cane was no longer allowed to be used in schools - an all girls' school where the headmistress wouldn't have caned anyone anyway - but my older brothers suffered horribly from teachers who enjoyed using the cane on their charges.

I can remember in primary school children being smacked on the back of the legs hard enough to leave a hand print, for something very minor I suspect.

Whatever happened to that boy for being late wouldn't come anywhere near the punishment for being late given to children of earlier generations.

Love the language used to describe this receptionist who used the word 'idiot', such double standards.

Poor kid. Receptionist sounds horrible, but not sure I'd take it further than a hard stare at her/'beg your pardon'? on the phone.

Was it Wren Academy in North London? sounds like them.

Busybusy no, I’ve been a school receptionist and I would never have spoken to or about a child like that. The receptionists at my dcs school are also absolutely lovely.

Absolutely out of order, she should be sacked. Poor thing, sounds like he was really distressed. Only 3 weeks into term and he’s being referred to as an idiot, I hope he didn’t hear her calling him that. Receptionists should be empathetic, nog bullies.

*not

Just because the receptionist used this term to you over the phone, does not mean she was unpleasant to the child concerned?

I'd say leave well alone - you did your good turn and he got to school. He is in secondary school now and once the first few weeks are out of the way he has to learn to be responsible for himself.

Love the language used to describe this receptionist who used the word 'idiot', such double standards.

Of course there are different standards on how you would describe an upset child if you're in a position of authority and how you describe an adult on a internet forum!

I would definitely make an official complaint. Sounds like she needs a bit more customer service training- using the word 'idiot' to describe a child, whether in jest or not, is not acceptable.

@Busybusybust

Yep. Receptionist at one of our schools is always angry to the kids and the parents. The amount of times I’ve heard another parent say “I hate her” is through the roof.

I think I’m going to email the head. New head in a poor performing school so he’s keen. I trust he’ll sort it out. Think those saying don’t go up shouting are right will not get very far.

Ps - not a London school. We are far up north :)

Complain. A member of staff should never refer to a student as an "idiot' , it is completely unacceptable. She will receive some form of warning and it will teach her never to be so dismissive again.

Receptionist needs a new job

Yes I agree. Email, if anything just for your own peace of mind. Stress the child was very upset etc and didn't know what to do. The reception didn't really give you any confidence he was OK. It doesn't matter how old he was he was clearly upset and to know your own child goes there too makes it worse. It's nice there are people like yourself who truly care about others. You sound like a lovely mum.

Re school receptionists- at ds1's secondary one of the reception staff is utterly, utterly lovely- warm, kind, friendly, helpful, patient and understanding. Her colleague seems to be attempting to reach new heights of unpleasantness and inflexibility. How the two of them work together I don't know! There's a similar nice one/ nasty one going on at ds2's primary, and now I come to think of it at the children's centre which houses ds3's nursery and at the primary school ds1&2 used to go to... hmmm. People who manage staffing for school reception teams, is this intentional? Do you always try and recruit one lovely human being and one absolute hellhound?

I think emailing the head is a good idea.

It absolutely is to do with you - you found the poor boy, directed him AND bothered to check he was safely accounted for. I wouldn't go anywhere near the receptionist, I would take this straight to the Head. This is a young man (Year 7 so what's that - 11 years old ish?) who was clearly distressed and vulnerable. To refer to him in such a manner is totally unacceptable.

Referring to a child as an idiot is horrible, whether or not it was a joke. I think you should discuss your concerns with the headteacher.

Calling a woman a bitch is equally disgusting and dehumanising. Please try to discourage your daughters from growing up using either term of abuse.

Bypass the receptionist and email the Head. That's a completely unacceptable way to talk about a child. Have worked in schools for over 15 years and that needs to be reported.

Possibly also raise safeguarding concerns about him being locked out, no way to contact, not knowing where to go and having to navigate a housing estate.

That is so out of order and I really hope it wasn't said within his earshot. An email to the Head is probably the best approach. Well done for helping him. I have a Y7 boy and I'd be very grateful if another parent had offered help like you did.

Report it to the head, but don't go marching up there all set for a shouting match. That would be the way to put yourself firmly in the wrong

^ This.

@Busybusybust don't be ridiculous!

Don’t be silly. She was joking.🙄