Obesity vs addiction

[Sparklfairy]

Not a taat but I noticed elsewhere here that mners seem to defend obesity but condemn other addictions I.e. alcoholism. Yes, over eating is an addiction. Yes, there can be medical issues behind said obesity but also some can use that as excuse.

I'm just curious as to why some people think obesity is 'ok' and 'Not their fault' yet have such venom for other addictions. Not being goady, I just feel ostracised sometimes for something that at it's roots is the same genuine illness.

Also, whilst I know of many good Mums and some amazing one's, who are Obese, I can't say the same for the other addictions that I know.

So there is the added aspect of not understanding that the drive to be a good Parent isn't strong enough to help to overcome the addiction.

sleepwhenidie, recent research, through Brain imaging, shows that the combination of fat and sugar's effect on the Brain, means that it can be classed as a true addiction.

birds - yes I mentioned how sugar lights up dopamine receptors in the way that cocaine does unthread. It was salted saying that there is no such thing as food addiction. I think there is no such thing as addiction to all foods in the way that you can become addicted to drugs. That's a bit like being addicted to oxygen. But I've no doubt that certain people experience a stronger addictive response to sugary food than others and that can be a real issue. I also think though, that for the majority of binge eaters, it is a coping mechanism that is based in psychology rather than a true physical compulsion.

upthread

I'm obese but I don't have an eating disorder or unhealthy relationship with food...certainly not one that could be called addictive.

YABU

My trouble is I don't like the foods that are healthy for you...fish is vile and I only actually like 3 or 4 different kinds of vegetables. Eating enough of the right food is bloody hard for me, but surviving on bowls of muesli evil sugar and carbs or pasta more evil carbs in a homemade sauce is not conducive to weight loss. I'm physically disabled so there is minimal exercise I can do to affect weight loss.

To loose the weight I'd need to be healthy, I'd need to stick to healthy eating for at least 2 years. I don't have that kind of willpower, it doesn't stop me trying, but lumping me in with alcoholics, gamblers and drug abusers because I'm fat is a crappy statement. Just the fat label is damaging enough thanks!

Because being drunk really changes your personality. My mum was an alcoholic and died in her fifties of an alcoholic cardiomyopathy.

I’ve never known a fat person to regularly piss herself or completely change from a caring, decent human to an unpleasant, vicious, destructive, suicidal person who was eventually asked to leave her job because they had too much cake.

I think the comparison between being overweight and being an alcoholic is fucking ludicrous.

I’m so sorry you are suffering from this horrible addiction btw. Instead of getting riled up about how people are “judging” you, maybe get riled about the addiction. It’s just a terrible, terrible thing .

OP, it’s not rocket science, it’s about the how addictions affect other people.

Somebody can be obese and a super parent that their children absolutely adore and has them in their uniform neat and fed at 9am every day. You can be obese and be a wonderful supportive partner who works full time and does their share at home. You can be obese and be a great friend who is reliable and fun. Obesity only really has small effects on people’s lives unless they want to do something extremely physical. Yes, they may die younger of have disabilities younger and cost the NHS more, but day to day they won’t bother anybody.

In contrast if you’re drinking or taking drugs to the point of addiction, then you will be taking them to the point where you won’t be able to look after your kids, you won’t be able to support your partner or look after your home or pay your bills or go to work.

Obesity doesn’t have the behavioural aspects of other addictions. If you eat a pie it won’t make you punch someone in a taxi queue, and cake is not known to cause domestic violence and chocolate doesn’t make you embarrassing loud, rude and messy and incontinent.

Of course other people get annoyed about other addictions more. They have far more impact on them!

Dychmygol really didn't mean to offend. This is just a discussion. I'm sorry

Hungryhippo you are 100% right

I'm really not trying to be goady here. I have many friends who are unhappy with their weight and I treat them as a person, not defined by their eating habits. I just wish they could do the same for me.

Are they ever around you when you’re drunk? This could be why they don’t want to tolerate it. It isn’t nice being around someone who is too drunk, especially an alcoholic. Sorry if that sounds unkind, but it’s true. It’s very unsettling and concerning. I should know (see my previous post).

Geraldine170 but there is the judgement right there. I've never punched anyone, ever. I take a bottle of vodka and go to bed and then get up in the morning and go to work. It doesn't affect my behaviour. It doesnt mean i dont have a problem. That's an unfair sweeping statement by you.

And being around a fat person isn’t even slightly similar. They won’t morph into someone else as drunk people do. And usually the person alcoholics morph into after too many drinks is not very pleasant.

What time do you start work and what time do you finish drinking? You could easily still be drunk when you start work.

You aren’t a nurse by any chance are you? Sorry, just as my mum was and I’ve chatted with another op on here who also was a nurse with a bad drink problem.

SallySangFroid I work for myself, in empty houses. I'm not gonna lie, some days I just don't give a shit. I don't drive and I still do the job and sometimes I just think 'fuck It, at least I got to work'. Sounds awful but sometimes if I didn't wake up I would be ok with that.

Its interesting that I feel all the same things about a sugar binge that the OP states about drinking.

I eat sugar to deal with anxiety/stress/depression. Sometimes it feels so painful I'd do anything to make it stop, including eating so much sweet stuff that I will be really ill the next day.

I think people are right in saying the difference is in the way alcohol can change people's personality or behaviour when they take it.

I know I am far more different in my behaviour after a single pint of beer than I am after all the sugar I can physically keep down.

I think this just means that alcohol is a more effective drug. Though in both cases I guess you get resistant to the effects. If I drank a pint a day presumably it would no longer affect me the same way.

How often do you feel that way? That you wouldn't mind not waking up?

No one deserves to feel that much pain.

Maybe we both need to find an alternative way to treat our anxiety/depression!

So, if you secretly drink alone and work alone and your drinking genuinely effects nobody, because you never see any other humans while you’re under the influence, how is it that you are being “judged”? Who are you telling about it? Do you want to stop?

A friend of mine is a medical student and she is currently on placement. She has seen a shocking number of middle aged women who secretly drink up to five LITRES of wine a day. And these are people who lived with family, they just hid it incredibly well. One of them died yesterday, surrounded by her poor family. The friend of mine is shocked at just how many women it seems to be who are suffering from this. It’s just awful.

I really hope you get some help, but if you truly don’t want to stop yet, there is absolutely nothing anyone on here can say to you to change that.

And re your op, it’s not really socially acceptable to be vastly overweight is it? People are constantly being slagged off for it on here at least. I know which addiction I’d have picked for my mum if I’d had the choice though.

I drink in public, but not to excess (by my standards). People don't think I'm drunk when I leave the pub. But I do really suffer anxiety when alone. I shake my hands (as in really shake them voluntarily), I struggle to breathe, and I sleep 2-3 hours a night. So people think I can 'hold' my drink but don't know that I drink at home afterwards to counteract all the shit. It's crap. But nothing the doctors have ever given me has helped as well (even if I am throwing up the next day)

Sparklfairy fair enough - it's just tough when there isn't an easy answer/solution but other folk are happy to preach that there is, which I suppose you know from your own experiences.

I just got defensive. for you too

I've never had a problem with my weight admittedly but the shit I've had for drinking too much as if it's self inflicted is shocking. I need (for want of a better word) to drink to manage my crippling anxiety.

Nobody needs to drink alcohol, everybody needs to eat food. It’s very easily to become fat accidentally and quite quickly. Alcoholism requires quite a bit of effort over many years to get addicted.

Alcohol doesn’t manage anxiety, it makes it worse. In your situation your anxiety will be a symptom of withdrawal from alcohol, that’s why you think alcohol makes it go away.

M3lon I was in a bad car accident involving a head injury which I think fucked me up, combined with an abusive mother who has just cut me off from the rest of my family, I just feel it all the time. I am definitely drinking more because of it. She's a narcissistic piece of shit but I'm struggling to let go.

PS: my mum drank alone in her bedroom too but unfortunately then she would sometimes come out so she could try and drive to the shop for more booze. Usually she did this covered in her own urine. We obviously hid her keys and wouldn’t give them to her. Like the women my friend is seeing on placement, this was an educated, wealthy woman with a huge, beautiful home, children all went to university etc etc. It effects all sorts of people and is a complete scourge. Not like cake sorry. Not at all.

Don’t let yourself get to that^^ stage if you can help it op.

I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this .

Fwiw, my mum was in recovery when she died and it was a beautiful few weeks of having her back. So sad it was too late and she died suddenly on Christmas Eve.

@Sparklfairy
Do you know why you drink so much?
You don't have to give the reasons to us I'm just curious if you know why.
Do you wish you could stop?
Depending on what the reasons are, have you ever had any therapy to help you deal with what is making you do this?
I really feel for you, I know you must be in a lot of pain to do this to yourself.