AIBU?
Thinking of changing my baby's name at 11 weeks
pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:16
I know this can be done and people do it but how do I know it is the right decision?
Had a very difficult time choosing DD's name which is Madelyn. Eventually gave up and let husband choose and we registered it. Never was 100% sure it was the right name. Now I find everyone shortens it and I hate the nickname. Stupid and hormonal, this obvious nickname did not strike me in the hospital and in the days after and it was a last minute decision.
I know it sounds horrible but I only had one name I loved and I felt like I couldnt use it because it was our neighbours DD's name, a coworker's name and it is DH's cousin's name (we never see her though). Hannah. This is bloody stupid but as soon as we get DD home and registered the neighbours announce they are moving. Then 2 weeks after that coworker transfers.
Been in tears a lot about this, been thinking about it a lot. It was the only name that we both really liked and agreed on. I think it is a result of overthinking this day in and day out and agonising about it, but now I am not even sure if Hannah is right for her now. I look at DD and think "I could get used to it" but if I go back in time I would have chosen what I wanted and said F everyone else.
DH says he doesn't care, likes both names, just wants me happy
Please tell me someone here has known of someone who changed a babys name? How did you know it was the right choice? I don't want to change it then regret THAT if that makes sense. But I don't want to regret not changing it while I had the chance. So difficult.
As I understand the birth certificate can be updated but it will always show the old name on the bottom and I don't know if I want that.
So so confused and sad, would appreciate your thoughts on this.
Aprilislonggone · 29/09/2018 19:18
If you reregister before your dc is a year old you get a brand new bc. As if the other one never existed!!
pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:18
also I do not know if I can edit my original post, but one other thought I had was will DD be angry with me in the future for having done this? feel that I have failed her already and I'm only a few weeks into being her mum. if only I could wind back time, such a big feeling of regret and hopelessness.
pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:20
OH and to further complicate things we are now living abroad! dont want to post where for privacy reasons but apparently the rules are a bit different than back home and they just do an amendment and not a full reissue of the birth certificate.
ugh....
Aprilislonggone · 29/09/2018 19:21
Your dc won't care at all!! Just be a tale to tell that's all!
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 29/09/2018 19:21
DD won’t give a monkeys. No harm in changing your mind, just get on with it now. Make sure no one is buying/making you personalised presents.
madeyemoodysmum · 29/09/2018 19:21
I wasn't 💯 over my sons name but grew to love it. Dh choice.
I love the name hannah Could you not add it to her name i.e.
Madelyn hannah surname and then you can grow into it easier?
Aprilislonggone · 29/09/2018 19:21
I believe you have to reregister at the same office.
madeyemoodysmum · 29/09/2018 19:22
By adding it I meaning officially so it's on her birth certificate or do hannah Madelyn surname.
ShowOfHands · 29/09/2018 19:23
Just do it. You are not a bad mother and DD will never think that. Hannah is a beautiful name.
HavelockVetinari · 29/09/2018 19:23
Hannah is beautiful. She will forever be spelling out 'Madelyn' because it's a unique spelling.
BlindBaker · 29/09/2018 19:24
I changed ds’ name at 6 months! He was supposed to get a new birth certificate but a mix up and my still hormonal state I never got it corrected. His birth certificate shows ‘formerly known as’ but it’s no big deal. He’s almost 13 now and finds it funny, no regrets DO IT!
YearOfYouRemember · 29/09/2018 19:25
When I was in my baby group a lady had her baby and announced he was to be called what dh and I had chosen for ours. I said this and inside thought we couldn't name our child the same. 17 years later and we never see them, didn't after we moved when he was six months. Glad we stuck with our choice.
Change the name. If only for the fact it isn't the usual spelling and will drive her mad plus imo Hannah is nicer.
AriadnePersephoneCloud · 29/09/2018 19:26
Change it. I wish I'd changed my eldest sons name but I thought it would grow on me. It didn't.
Hannah is a lovely name, you could put Madelyn as a middle name and then if she prefers it when she's older she can still use it.
Everyone else will have to get used to it.
pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:27
hey BlindBaker how did you know it was the right choice for you and DS? so afraid of buggering this up again!
Babyroobs · 29/09/2018 19:28
Hannah is a lovely name. I think if it's bothering you that much then just change it, you will be used to the new name in a few weeks.
longestlurkerever · 29/09/2018 19:36
OP, do you think you might have a touch of PND and it's manifesting itself in this worry about your dd's name? They're both good names. Whatever you decide won't harm your DD or be letting her down, promise!
pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:41
longestlurkerever - yes I thought about the PND route too, I got assessed for it and put on antidepressants actually. I have always had a bit of an obsessive personality so I am wondering if it is that just playing up again which makes me question my decision. I am not in tears about it all day like I was before but I still don't care for the name, now I feel like the tablets have made me say "oh don't bother with it" and made me a bit apathetic, even though deep down I don't like the name. Does that make sense?
Alwa · 29/09/2018 19:41
Is it pronounced Made a Lyn or Madeline? I like both.
Hannah is pretty too, change it if you prefer it.
Also, no offence but name regret can be a sign of post natal depression. Are you feeling ok in yourself? 
cardibach · 29/09/2018 19:42
The only shortening for Madelyn I can think of is Maddie - not sure how you could hate this or how it wouldn’t strike you immediately.
However, if both parents are happy to change, why not?
pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:45
cardibach - yeah a bit of an idiot I am. I knew a girl, quite a mean girl at school that went by maddie, though "oh well she won't be called that", I find that that now everyone calls her maddie and all I can think of is that girl. sounds very silly I know but I don't want to be reminded of a bully each time I see my lovely DD. You all probably think I'm bonkers and a bit of an idiot, I thought I could get past this association at the hospital and it has just chipped at me since.
changetime1 · 29/09/2018 19:45
Do it! I didn’t change my second child’s name and even though I regretted it after a few weeks and didn’t think it suited her. Two years on and it still doesn’t and still sounds wrong to me. If you aren’t happy wirh it it’s far easier to do so now.
pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:47
Alwa - I've never quite felt ok in myself to be honest, I thought depression was a part of my personality! I live with it day to day. Like I said, I got so desperate to resolve this situation that I got on tablets thinking it was PND and it would blow over, it made me a bit robotic and dampened all of my emotions so I couldn't think straight. now off the tablets and feeling much more in control but that feeling on the name still lingers.
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