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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Thinking of changing my baby's name at 11 weeks

123 replies

pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:16

I know this can be done and people do it but how do I know it is the right decision?

Had a very difficult time choosing DD's name which is Madelyn. Eventually gave up and let husband choose and we registered it. Never was 100% sure it was the right name. Now I find everyone shortens it and I hate the nickname. Stupid and hormonal, this obvious nickname did not strike me in the hospital and in the days after and it was a last minute decision.

I know it sounds horrible but I only had one name I loved and I felt like I couldnt use it because it was our neighbours DD's name, a coworker's name and it is DH's cousin's name (we never see her though). Hannah. This is bloody stupid but as soon as we get DD home and registered the neighbours announce they are moving. Then 2 weeks after that coworker transfers.

Been in tears a lot about this, been thinking about it a lot. It was the only name that we both really liked and agreed on. I think it is a result of overthinking this day in and day out and agonising about it, but now I am not even sure if Hannah is right for her now. I look at DD and think "I could get used to it" but if I go back in time I would have chosen what I wanted and said F everyone else.

DH says he doesn't care, likes both names, just wants me happy

Please tell me someone here has known of someone who changed a babys name? How did you know it was the right choice? I don't want to change it then regret THAT if that makes sense. But I don't want to regret not changing it while I had the chance. So difficult.

As I understand the birth certificate can be updated but it will always show the old name on the bottom and I don't know if I want that.

So so confused and sad, would appreciate your thoughts on this.

OP posts:

NameChanged231 · 29/09/2018 21:04

If your heart is telling you Hannah, then go for it. It's not too late, your husband is supportive, and it's only been a few weeks so other people will adjust.

We changed our baby's last name. Post EMCS I had some misgivings about giving DS his dad's surname but I kept them to myself. I regretted it hugely - every hospital or GP appointment it sounded wrong to me. So after 6 months we had it changed. It was a huge adninistrative pain - bigger than changing a first name would be, and the original name will always be on the certificate - but I am SO happy we did it. I can use his new name with much happiness. Think about how you would feel using the name Hannah day to day, and if it fills you with happiness then just go for it!

LesLavandes · 29/09/2018 21:12

She can have 2 middle names

Aprilislonggone · 29/09/2018 21:20

My dd has 2 middle names and is very proud of the fact!

iamyourequal · 29/09/2018 21:24

I would change it if you don’t like it and it has bad connotations and your DH doesn’t mind (which you have already stated). Hannah is a lovely name, it is classy and timeless and is mercifully unambiguous in its spelling! Don’t feel bad about changing your mind at all - go easy on yourself.

loopylass13 · 29/09/2018 21:28

I changed my child's name 3 weeks after naming her. Originally she was Emily Savanna but I ended up hating Emily. I changed it to just Savanna and I have never regretted it. I love it and suits her.

Personally I love Madelyn and it may grow on you, but if Hannah is the name for your baby then that is it. Sometimes you just know!!

ThePinkOcelot · 29/09/2018 21:53

I prefer Madelyn tbh. Not keen on Hannah at all.

shinycat · 29/09/2018 21:58

Also, unlike Madelyn - Hannah is unlikely to be shortened by people very often.... it's like Sarah, or Emma, or Lucy, or Lily.

Short, 2 syllable names are not shortened too often. I know an Emma, a Lucy, a Lily, a Hannah, a Sarah, an Erin, a Poppy, and an Ella, - all short-ish, 2 syllable names, and they are almost never shortened. No normal person will shorten the name Hannah - I mean to what? HAN? That just sounds shit.

I would defo change it to Hannah

inmyfeelings · 29/09/2018 22:02

I have two daughters , OP. I changed dd2s name when she was a few weeks old . Now that she's 12 she lovvvves hearing the story about her name being changed , it makes her feel special . They love hearing about themselves as newborns when they're older . Go for the name you love !

GiantKitten · 29/09/2018 22:09

DD2's best friend right through primary school was Hannah, & her parents did call her Han - said with love it actually sounds very sweet

MyNameIsKarenMyHairIsShiny · 29/09/2018 22:10

I am just sitting here with my friend. Her name is Hannah and her middle name is Madleen, so kind of similar. Hannah is a beautiful name, if it feels right, go for it

ilooovechristmas · 29/09/2018 22:13

You chose a name you didn't like because you were worried about other people's opinions and now your 50/50 about changing it to something you LOVE because once again your worried about people's opinions ?

Hi DM DD MIL etc... just wanted to let you know that we have decided to change DD's name to Hannah, we think it suits her much better and unfortunately I didn't like her name being shortened to Maddie. This is a much better fit for our family and feel like a weight has been lifted ! (Insert picture here ) how beautiful is our little Hannah ! Heart emoji

AuntBeastie · 29/09/2018 22:18

I know someone who changed their baby’s name when she ws almost a year old and now the kid is 7 and it’s all normal and fine. Do it! Your baby won’t know or care and everyone else will quickly get used to it. You certainly haven’t failed her!

Rebecca36 · 29/09/2018 22:30

I think Madelyn is a lovely name and Maddie is really cool and friendly.

Snooky1 · 29/09/2018 22:31

I had a huge wobble about my dd name (theodora - Thea for short). People weren't very complimentary about it. I couldn't decide if I should change it or not. Dh didn't mind either way. I ended up in a park having dropped my older dd at nursery crying down the phone to my mum. Who didn't know what to do to help. When you said you felt you had failed in her 3 weeks of life - that's what I was saying to my mum.
The best advice came from the Internet and worked for me which was you and partner call the child the name you would change it too for two weeks and see how you feel, then asked close friends and family to use the name then ask everybody else to call her new name and if it all works well change the name.
In our case dh and me tried to call her a new name but we couldn't do it. It was then I realised after all the crying and distress I had called her the right name.
I totally feel you pain and hope things get sorted for you.

neverhadanymarblestolose · 29/09/2018 22:32

I ended up letting my husband name our first child as we just couldn't agree on one and I was tired after labour! I slowly began to hate it, never used it, called her all kinds of cute nicknames instead. Then at around 3 months I told my husband that I hated it and wanted to change it.
Husband absolutely hated the idea of changing it, and it didn't help that I didn't know what I wanted to change it to, I just know I hated her first name!

After a couple of weeks, he agreed to trialling switching her first and middle name, as this was the least weird option in his mind. I was the one who had chosen her middle name, but hadn't wanted to use it as it's been in the top 10 for years and I wanted something less common.

We did a month trial and I was convinced it was the right decision, but my husband struggled for first two weeks. At the end of the month, he said he would still prefer to keep her original name, but would swap if I really wanted. And I did. So we then told close friends and family, then changed it be registering her birth at 6 months. A few people thought it odd, but I didn't care.

She's now nearly 7 and I've not regretted it once. And everyone has forgotten that we ever changed it. Although she doesn't like being called her full name, so insists on being called a shortened version (think Lily instead of Lillian). She also knows that we swapped her name's. Think we told her at 5, and she's glad we changed it as she doesn't like it at all.
She also knows we swapped her name's.

SumAndSubstance · 29/09/2018 22:35

It's not such a big thing, but I felt similarly about my DS's middle name and changed it when he was nearly a year old. It didn't make a difference to anything really, but I felt quite anxious about it until it was sorted and since then I have just felt happy about it, so I don't think it is necessarily the case that changing it wouldn't fix the way you feel, especially as you've always liked the name Hannah.
I also have a friend who announced her DD's name. DD lived for weeks as this name, but on their way to register her (at the last minute), they changed it to a completely different name. They had to announce her new name, but everyone accepted it! It's funny now their DD is older to remember her original one.

BuntyII · 29/09/2018 22:36

Go for it. Your family might be a bit but who gives a shit, fuck them. The hard part is breaking the news, after that's done you realise then nobody really cares that much anyway.

OrdinarySnowflake · 29/09/2018 22:47

change it. You'll feel more relaxed once the decision is made.

Haffdonga · 29/09/2018 22:48

Friends did this with their ds at 6 months (and also didn't use his original name as a middle name). They sent out an announcement card to everyone. Honestly within a few months his new name felt completely right and the swap over was easy. It now seems difficult to imagine him ever being anything else.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 29/09/2018 22:49

I’d just change it tbh

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 29/09/2018 22:54

No normal person will shorten the name Hannah - I mean to what? HAN? That just sounds shit.

Well I don't know if I just know abnormal people then, but I know two Hannahs and they are both called 'Han' by family and friends.

Word to OP - don't call your baby Hannah if you object to Han - it WILL happen.

Also - Hannah Banana will be said at least once.

Maccycheesefries · 29/09/2018 22:54

Change it to Hannah Madelyn so you both get the name you like.

BeUpStanding · 29/09/2018 23:13

Change her name

Original poster

pab88 · 29/09/2018 23:20

thank you ladies all so very much. been having a few tears and a few laughs too. I think I'm just so hard on myself, after all having a baby is a time filled with lots of change and stress. Told my mum and she said "You've had 9 months to decide and you couldn't, now you want to change it, you're unbelievable!" which made me feel shitty. It isn't always that easy though is it. Any mum can identify with wanting to do what's right for your DC. Like I've mentioned, this name drama makes me feel like I've failed DD even though I know deep down that isn't true. I just hope she loves her name and loves me, and knows I cared about her so much I wanted her to have a name that fit her perfectly.

@Buntyll good god I don't know if I've just gone daft but I had a big laugh over your reply! you're right, fuck what anyone says and I'm sure it will all be forgotten in a few months time.

A few of you have mentioned switching the first and middle, great suggestion tho I don't think I'd ever use the middle as a first. Plus I love Hannah more than both names combined.

Really appreciate all the replies, been reading and will continue to read them, appreciate every single one of them. x

OP posts:

Madmarchpear · 29/09/2018 23:23

I prefer Hannah. Maddie is OK but i'd hate someone to think it was short for madison. Whatever happens, you'll laugh about it one day.

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