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Original poster

Thinking of changing my baby's name at 11 weeks

123 replies

pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:16

I know this can be done and people do it but how do I know it is the right decision?

Had a very difficult time choosing DD's name which is Madelyn. Eventually gave up and let husband choose and we registered it. Never was 100% sure it was the right name. Now I find everyone shortens it and I hate the nickname. Stupid and hormonal, this obvious nickname did not strike me in the hospital and in the days after and it was a last minute decision.

I know it sounds horrible but I only had one name I loved and I felt like I couldnt use it because it was our neighbours DD's name, a coworker's name and it is DH's cousin's name (we never see her though). Hannah. This is bloody stupid but as soon as we get DD home and registered the neighbours announce they are moving. Then 2 weeks after that coworker transfers.

Been in tears a lot about this, been thinking about it a lot. It was the only name that we both really liked and agreed on. I think it is a result of overthinking this day in and day out and agonising about it, but now I am not even sure if Hannah is right for her now. I look at DD and think "I could get used to it" but if I go back in time I would have chosen what I wanted and said F everyone else.

DH says he doesn't care, likes both names, just wants me happy

Please tell me someone here has known of someone who changed a babys name? How did you know it was the right choice? I don't want to change it then regret THAT if that makes sense. But I don't want to regret not changing it while I had the chance. So difficult.

As I understand the birth certificate can be updated but it will always show the old name on the bottom and I don't know if I want that.

So so confused and sad, would appreciate your thoughts on this.

OP posts:
AmateurSwami · 29/09/2018 19:47

My friend swapped her daughters name order round when she was 2. Hannah is a beautiful name.
Hope you’re ok, you’re not a bad mum at all,please don’t think that

mumtothebabes123 · 29/09/2018 19:47

When you look at her which name feels right?
Does she suit one name more?
Naming a baby is really hard!! I understand how you feel x

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 29/09/2018 19:50

Hannah is a beautiful name, go ahead and change it. You won't be the first to do this, and you certainly won't be the last.
You are not bonkers, you are doing the right thing, by addressing the issue.

shinycat · 29/09/2018 19:50

I would change it. Not a fan of the name Madelyn sorry - or the shortened name Maddy. Used to think it was OK,but now I just associate the name with a certain girl who went missing in Praia da luz a few years ago!

Have to say, I don't care WHO had a name I liked for a child, if I wanted it and liked it, that's all that would matter.

I don't subscribe to this 'DH's cousin/SIL's sister/MIL's half sister's baby/DH's brother's baby has such and such a name, so I can't use it' bollocks. If I liked and wanted a name, (for my child,) I would use it, and to hell with anyone who was irked by it.

So yeah, change it. I know 5 Hannahs between 20 and 25. It's no biggie. Lots of names are popular, and it's often because they're nice. Smile

Grilledaubergines · 29/09/2018 19:52

The only shortening for Madelyn I can think of is Maddie -

“Mads” is a common shortening of Madeleine/Madeline. It’s not a name I’d want to be called/have a child of mine called.

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 29/09/2018 19:54

I love my daughter's name and chose it years before she was born, but in the first few weeks of her life I had massive wobbles about it. It's a name that sounds different to the way it's spelled and every time I thought of it I kept thinking how everyone would say it if they said it phonetically. In retrospect I had a bit of post natal anxiety and that was clouding my thoughts. I am SO happy I didn't change it and I am absolutely in love with her name now - she couldn't be anything else.

So it could just be that, and you'll grow to love it as you love her. On the other hand, Hannah is a beautiful name and if you do change it you will soon be very glad that you did as she will just 'be' Hannah and it will seem right. Do what you think feels right and will make you happiest, but just know that there's a good outcome either way ok?

Original poster
pab88 · 29/09/2018 19:55

shinycat - yes, I just feel a bit silly about all of this. I should have trusted my gut at the hospital and I just didn't and now I'm feeling that it's a bit too late. Though I think 50 years on, do I really want her to be known by her original name? I want to feel good about it. Thinking about zoo and shopping trips and such, I want to go with my daughter Hannah not Madelyn :) I'm feeling so bad about all of it. having a child was such a huge adjustment and confusing time, and now this on top of it, not trusting myself and thinking I'm just just obsessing as part of a postpartum mood disorder. I am feeling overwhelmed by this decision. Will I always feel shame/embarrassment/be brought back to this time every time I see a Maddie/Madeleine/Madelyn now. Like I said, been overthinking quite a bit.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 29/09/2018 19:57

If you don't want her to be called Maddie, tell people. Keep calling her Madelyn and correct others when they don't.

liquidrevolution · 29/09/2018 19:57

Sometimes babies have to grow into a name. Madelyn will always be shortened to Maddie.

How about Hannah Madelyn? That sounds nice.

junebirthdaygirl · 29/09/2018 19:58

Madelyn is a beautiful name. I would correct everyone shortening her name as thats not the name you gave her. If she wants to shorten it as an older child fine. Just say ye are not shortening it.

MayFayner · 29/09/2018 20:00

Do it! Your baby is still very, very young. It won’t have any negative repercussions and will make you happy. Your DH is on board. Go for it.

Sausages18 · 29/09/2018 20:01

Go easy on yourself OP. Early days with your firstborn is a totally mad unique time, it’s hard to make decisions and easy to make decisions we’re not totally happy with.

I gave my child too many middle names (didn’t realise that they would appear on everything 🤦🏻‍♀️) and may change at some point in the future!

They tell you to ‘trust your gut’ as a parent, and it seems you have a pretty solid instinct on this one. Do what your heart says and don’t be embarrassed. You won’t be the first to change a name or a spelling, and you certainly won’t be the first to be a bit all over the place in those first few days. Do what you want, be proud, and go forward. No one will ever give this as much thought as you!

museumum · 29/09/2018 20:02

I would put hannah in the front and keep Madelyn as a middle name. Nobody shortens middle names. I’d find it off to completely erase the name she was introduced as but that doesn’t mean you need to use it.

wheatymin · 29/09/2018 20:02

Madelyn is a strange spelling and will be a pain to spell, people will think it is supposed to be Madeline or Madeleine. I'd go with Hannah.

lolarose896 · 29/09/2018 20:04

Change it! Your DD won't care at all, it will be a funny story to tell her in a couple of years time!

My DH's mum changed his name from Ryan to Richard to honor his father who died, when he was 11 months old and although there has been some confusion in the past with him getting a DBS certificate and the registry thinking he was still called Ryan, he has not had any other issues with passports/ driving licences etc.
Ryan is now his middle name which could be an option for your little girl?

Nodnol · 29/09/2018 20:04

I changed my DDs name when she was three months old. On the back of her BC it says “previously named .....”.

I felt exactly the same as you op. Change it. You won’t regret it.

C0untDucku1a · 29/09/2018 20:04

I would also Correct everyone. Firmly. Every time. Knobs.

But you dd wont care at this stage.

I want a dog and my name choice is hannah. Great name.

StellaRockafella · 29/09/2018 20:05

One of my favourite friend's is Hanna without the 'h'. She's half-Finnish, and that their way of spelling it. Why don't you opt for this spelling given the other Hannahs you know.

Hanna Madelyn is very pretty.

RedOrange21 · 29/09/2018 20:07

I would just change it. I had a friend at school who had had a different name for a few weeks - she used to enjoy telling the story! Also agree re the PND - sounds like you may be suffering and struggling to be decisive because if it.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 29/09/2018 20:09

I have been on both sides of this with my two.
First time I was stuck between two names. After deliberating ages we went with one and forthe first week wasn't sure at all. Then it totally grew on me and now I love it

Second time we were in a similar situation. And I chose the wrong one. Around 3 - 4 months in of not liking it I asked my husband if we could change it and he really didn't want to, mainly as he was worried what people would think. Also I wasn't keen on an amended birth certificate.

One of the reasons I hate it is because I have a different accent to the city that I live in and it's actually pronounced very differently in the two accents and people just can't 'get' what she's called unless they're really tuned into my accent. Every time someone asks her name it turns into a massive discussion. I also worry it's a bit chavvy.

In answer to how do you know - I wish I'd tried it out! Just called her it for a few days and introduced her as that to people I wasn't going to see again just to see how I liked it. I wish I'd done it with both names as I know I'd have chosen the other one which I now prefer. She is too old now to change it but I can't stop regretting it. I know it's not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things but I wish I could just get past it!

AwdBovril · 29/09/2018 20:11

There was a name I'd liked since I was a child but a close relative had a DD shortly before me & chose the same name. So DH & I didn't feel we could use that name, & couldn't think of another we really liked. We chose another & I went along with it, thinking it would grow on me. It didn't, she is 6 now & I still don't like her name. Only DH knows in RL.

Go with what you want. If you don't, you'll regret it.

MrsGrindah · 29/09/2018 20:16

I do think you are overthinking it but nevertheless if it’s important to you it doesn’t matter what we say. You could just call her Hannah anyway and not change it officially. My friend is called Lucy Anne but we all know her as Lily!

MudCity · 29/09/2018 20:20

Both names are lovely.

However, for all the reasons you describe, especially the negative connotations with someone from your school days, change it.

The birth certificate doesn’t matter. She will need her birth certificate once in a blue moon. She will use her name every day.

Thatstheendofmytether · 29/09/2018 20:21

I think Madelyn is a beautiful name OP. You could just ask people not to call her Maddie. Hannah is also lovely and if you Feel this strongly about it then perhaps you should change it. Your daughter won't give it a second thought when she is older. I don't particularly love my name bit I wouldn't change it and I know my mum must have really liked it to name her DD that.

Nomorecakes · 29/09/2018 20:23

Definitely change it if you prefer the name Hannah.
I regret not changing my DD2s name. I had a really hard time picking something out and we called her a new name every couple of days until we had to register her. A few days later I fell in love with a different name and was desperate to change it, but DH put his foot down. I still adore the name three years later and wish I had changed it. The name was Briony.